Infidelity Through The Ranks
by Foxissofoxy
Summary: Friendships are tested when the symptoms of Infidelity are felt. POV style in a non-linear format. Rick and Michonne/Daryl and Sasha. Other Walking Dead Characters throughout. (AU-Possible OOC) Proceed with Caution.
1. Sasha

"Friendship ... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself..."  
 **― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves**

* * *

Michonne and I were friends. We had met almost four years ago in Japan. Our friendship developed naturally. Really organic. I was confident I was her new best friend if not her only friend. We took to each other rather quickly.

I have never had a relationship with another female that didn't bring drama, and I was surprised when it happened with Michonne. She was an officer's wife. I was married, and I am still married to a former enlisted.

We were not permitted to have a friendship. Officers and an enlisted were not supposed to intermingle and that included their spouses. Other officers wives held to that rule as if an enlisted wife had the plague of some kind. Not Michonne. She never treated me like that. Michonne and I were like kindred spirits. I loved to cook, and she loved to eat.

I loved cooking, and Michonne was willing to taste and give her approval. She would go off base with me to find ingredients that weren't available inside the commissary. We shopped. I treated her to dishes she never knew existed or that she would like and she treated me to spa days, nails and feet. I love luxury. I just couldn't afford it as often, and it was really lovely of Michonne to offer.

Michonne began confiding into me things about her life and her marriage. I was surprised by how she described Mike in the beginning. He was such a romantic. He gave Michonne lots of attention and then the story changed. It was gradual. She began to mention him less. I would still talk about Daryl and how we really would love to open a restaurant once his time was up in the military. We both didn't have any children, and it permitted us to have almost unlimited, unencumbered time together.

Michonne had told me about a crush she was developing and how she'd never felt like a dorky school girl, not since she was a dorky school girl.

I knew who it was because she told me. She had told me after they had already slept together. That was a tough time for all of us. It wasn't just hard for the people that were involved with each other, but it was also tough for us, the friends. Lori was my friend too.

This thing that was going on really tested all of our friendships. It made me take a long hard look at myself also.

I was surprised, angry, and honest with Michonne. I was really surprised she found a guy like Rick attractive. I was mad at her that she wouldn't stop. Once...we all make mistakes, but it was a continuous thing between them.

Infidelity in the military wasn't the rule, but it sure was the way of life for most. No one was immune. It was a plague due to accessibility fueled by distance and time we had to spend away from our loved ones. Sometimes it was six months at a time if we weren't fortunate to follow the ship or meet them at their location somehow some way.

I understood, but I didn't at the same time. It didn't mean I didn't love my husband more where it wouldn't happen to him or me, it just meant how do you betray someone you promise to love and respect? I just couldn't wrap my mind around it.

"Michonne, you need to stop. You need to just ignore him. Focus on your marriage. Focus on Mike because Rick is not going to leave Lori. They have two kids together. She just had Judith."

My words were falling on deaf ears as I look at it now.

"I know."

"Please think of it from Lori's side. Think of it from where you stand with Mike. Would you want a woman still pursuing your husband?"

"You make it seem like I am alone in this. Rick is calling me too."

"I don't give a damn, Michonne. Why are you answering his calls? Why are you entertaining him? End it!"

I was hard on Michonne.

I believed she needed to slow down and take a look at the bigger picture. What I didn't realize was how wide open Rick had Michonne and vise versa.

It was reckless.

Michonne had no regard, and neither did Rick after a while. I mean, shit got real ugly real fast, and it was probably why Rick didn't re-enlist. He was hell-bent on being with Michonne.

Anyone with an ounce of sense knew his military career would not survive if he didn't break it off, especially with Lori ready to report everything to his chain of command. Lori held the final trump card.

* * *

"He's always staring at me," Michonne whispered to me.

I had laughed not realizing something was happening between them.

"Probably because you are always staring at him?"

I really didn't know there was a potential for anything. I believed that Michonne thought he was attractive and that was it. Just because someone is married doesn't mean they are blind. Hell, I think Vin Diesel is one sexy man. He is the only one that might make me reconsider my life. The odds of that happening was Nil.

We were in the grocery store aisle, and Rick was dressed in his blue cammies when he strolled over to me and spoke.

"Hey, Sasha, your husband Daryl still coming by for beers tonight?"

"Yeah," I responded back to Rick.

"Alright. I will see him then."

There was an awkwardness that I even felt as he abruptly left after he tipped his head to Michonne and spoke, "Have a good day, Ma'am."

"You never told me you knew him."

"Yes, I know him. I wasn't about to introduce you to him knowing what I know. Plus he's a very good friend of my husband and his wife's name is Lori. He's a really good guy. Loyal. Loves his wife and kids. Daryl likes him because he doesn't bring or cause any drama."

"Which one is Lori?"

"The skinny brunette that didn't like anything I cooked that day you came by for a girls day at my house."

"Ahh."

* * *

A/N: 1/26/2019 9:53pm

I have gone as far as I can in correcting this grammatical mess. I want to close it out but I didn't want new readers to look at it without thinking I made no attempt to review with another lense versus insomnia excuse. LOL. If you caught this sneaky update you will notice a slight change compared to the old.

If you are new think of this as tapestry or quilt (patchwork) It is not linear but builds on what was told earlier or later. It doesn't matter necessarily where they are or the people around them but what is said, what is done and what is believed. Dynamics, thoughts, actions.

Original Author's Note:

This will be short and more from Sasha and Daryl's perspective or at least that's my intentions. This story will show how infidelity hurts friendships or strengthen them. Proceed with Caution.


	2. Rick

_"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for."_  
 ** _―_ _Bob Marley_ **

* * *

Michonne was standing by the tour bus alone. She wore a look of confusion, and I felt like I needed or should come to her rescue. We were in Hong Kong. I was compelled. It was like an opportunity was presented, and I took advantage of the window that was open to me.

I was bold. Brazen.

I took off my wedding band and put it in my front pant pocket. Absently my thumb rubbed my naked ring finger, my symbolic reminder because I was slightly nervous about how everything would play out. I was drawn to her without any particular reason. I was an E5 approaching an officer's wife. A beautiful woman, who had never been to Hong Kong, left alone to figure it out, I began to stage the scene in my mind before I realized I had spoken.

"Are you trying to get to the Market?" I had asked.

"Go away. I don't want a suit."

Michonne kept her attention on the directions provided to her by the hotel. She was evidently confused by the instructions to get to the famous outdoor market as I peeked to see what she was looking at so intently. I wasn't put off by her unexpected response.

"Hi."

I hoped to get her attention.

"I am not interested if you are trying to solicit me and get me to cross the street to look at your wares."

I couldn't help chuckling.

"Do I even sound like I am foreign? I am Georgia bred. Boots to prove it."

She had finally glanced away from the paper in her hands. The shy smile she gave me was every indication she recognized who I was since I was out of uniform. I had on a button up shirt, a pair of jeans and a pair of my well-worn cowboy boots.

"Are you alone?"

She had nodded.

"You want help getting to where you are going?" I wasn't sure if my questions were conveying my meaning that if she wanted to hang out together I was open to it. Only if she wanted too.

She had nodded again.

I was stunned but I tried to not let it show. She was agreeable. It took a long moment for me to realize I could stand there lost in her brown eyes and the warmth I felt by the sweetest smile she wore upon her lips.

She was so beautiful in her light yellow sundress and sandals. She carried with her a thin white sweater draped across one arm along with her purse.

Every time I would see her on base she was always so well put together. She took time in her appearance. She smelled terrific too.

I'm not sure where my mind went but I had a stupid grin on my lips. I'm quite sure she was accostomed to seeing it plastered on my face whenever we would see each other in passing. I had developed a sickening crush on this woman from the moment I laid eyes on her months ago.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"You had said you would come to Hong Kong." I had finally found something to say.

"You said if my husband and I wanted a tour guide you would be more than happy to take us somewhere he has never been. Now you have only me to entertain." She had smirked.

"I have quite a few places in mind that I think you will enjoy. A couple of them are off the beaten path and based on how you are dressed I don't think it is advisable."

"Is the dress the problem?" She asked coyly.

It was the woman in the dress if I were to be honest and where we were in knowing each other it was too early for truth without possibly scaring her away if she were of a different mind and wanted to remain strictly flirty.

"The off the beaten path is still on the table." I bit my lower lip in regret to sounding too forward just in case this was a strickly platonic outing.

"I'm not sure how dirty that path you speak of is, so let's try out the road most often travelled."

"The market?"

"Yes. The market." She wore the first of many smirks.

We had an excellent time. I absolutely loved to hear her laughter. The sound alone was intoxicating or it was the fact I felt priviledged to be in her presence that kept me lightheaded. Her confident smirks soon had her hand hiding her sudden fits of giggles. I amused her enough she snorted. It didn't stop her from laughing more than ever.

I was unrecognizable.

Yeah, if I were standing on the outside looking in, I wouldn't recognize myself at all. This was a different version of me. I was presented with a much-fantasized opportunity to be with someone who was way out of my league.

I had been to Hong Kong three times since joining the military. The ship I was assigned to was in port and this third time had to have been the best time of my life. I have always liked Hong Kong. I usually like to venture off alone. I didn't mind having some company with me the other two times but all Shane wanted to do was drink and chase women. I wasn't about that. I was married.

Michonne and I had spent all day together. She really got a thrill out of bartering with the shop merchants, and tasting the fine cuisine if it met with the cleanliness standards that she insisted were negotiable. They were not. I was very accommodating.

I wasn't surprised how one thing led to another causing us to spend all night and into the next day, exchanging bodily fluids excreting from the most intimate places. My favorite was between her legs and her between mine.

Her lips. Her tongue.

We didn't talk much. Just a lot of sex and eventually some sleeping. I got a call from Shane at some point in the day. His voice along with his words could wake up the dead and have them sprinting back to a life that was less meaningful.

"Where the fuck are you? You missed Muster and now you about to miss Ship movement? Where. The. Fuck. Are. You?"


	3. Michonne

_"There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature."_  
 **― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey**

* * *

I was trying to follow the ships' movement, and I found meeting up with him somewhat thrilling since I was stepping out of my element.

I was lonely. I didn't know how much until Hong Kong. An officer wife had to be very selective with whom they kept company, and the women were very competitive.

My husband had sent me an email wanting to know why did I come to Hong Kong. He had told me that he was going to be very busy on board. He had absolutely no time for me since they were only going to be in port for two days.

I hated the other officer's wives. They kept their nose in the air and expected to be saluted as if they earned that regard the insignia signified. I was different, and I was slightly embarrassed it was quite evident how much so. I gravitated to the first person who didn't seem to care. It was how I became friends with Sasha when I first arrived in the South Pacific. I didn't care about her husband being only an E5. Enlisted.

I was supposed to avoid her, but I didn't. My husband Mike frowned knowing that I preferred her company. He relented. To me, Sasha was fun. She wasn't judgmental about how ritual I was about certain things in my life.

We would go get our nails done, and sometimes I would treat. Sasha was hesitant at first in accepting my offer, and it felt good that she appreciated it and she reciprocated by being an ear I could bend or treating me to her obsession, food network concoctions that she prepared. She was fun and clean.

Her husband was hesitant about accepting our relationship, but he eventually turned a blind eye like most enlisted would do. Not the officer level they were quietly taking notes.

I was in Hong Kong to meet the ship. My husband was assigned to a ship that would be in port. He was an O4. He knew of my arrival, but for whatever reason, he wasn't permitted to leave the boat. I wondered if I would run into Mr. Blue eyes at some point in my day alone in a country I had no I deal how to navigate in without assistance of some kind. I definitely wasn't going to sit in a hotel room for two days. I was going to venture out.

The sun's heat was intense as I made my exit out of the hotel. It was almost blinding. I didn't know whether to go left or right. It would have helped if I did a Google search, but I didn't. I went right and was immediately accosted by a man in a poorly tailored suit who wasn't Asian asking me to buy a suit or if I was in need of suit. I had on a yellow sundress with sandals. Why the hell would I want a men's suit? The man wouldn't let up as I walked further down the sidewalk where I was stopped by another man who wasn't Asian asking me to come across the street for a purse that would complement my dress. I was overwhelmed and immediately made a left retracing my steps back inside the hotel lobby. I needed to gather myself, or a full-blown panic attack would take over without fail.

By the time I was brave enough to go back out, I had gone left and straight across the street like I remembered the directions given to me and what was written down. It took no time for me to make it to where I would be able to take the tour bus or at least I prayed that was what I was waiting for. I had to re-evaluate my directions when I heard a voice. It didn't sound foreign, but I refused to look up. I refuse to engage one more peddler.

I was pleasantly surprised that it was him. I took one look at Rick and my breath almost caught seeing him dressed in civilian clothes. A white button-up shirt, jeans, and cowboy boots. I noticed the watch on his wrist and his wedding band was missing. It was the first time I had seen him without it. I wondered if something happened, but I didn't want to pry.

He had offered to be my tour guide, and I realized we were speaking in code and it was apparent this wasn't one-sided. We were suffering from symptoms of being in the same orbit as the other.

At first, I couldn't relax with him sitting on the bus next to me. He was explaining things, and he seemed sincere with his southern drawl.

He smelled good. His breath was fresh, and his eyes were the brightest blue I have ever gazed into. He was blushing because I would forget to look away or not recall he was saying anything that was requiring a response because I was watching his lips so intensely. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to know what he tasted like. If he could have read my mind he would see that I really didn't want to go to the market, I wanted to have my way with him.

I ended up with some good deals at the market. I found that I was really good at negotiating much to Rick's amusement.

"Rick, what are you doing?"

"You had kissed me." Rick was evidently confused as I. We were standing on the outside of the door of a hotel room he procured.

"You were leaning in and..."

I had no impulse control at this point, and I was ready to gaslight my way out of it if he was suddenly having second thoughts. He wasn't kissing me with any hesitation. I was confused by his need to pause.

"I want to do this. Do you?"

"Why else would I be here if I didn't?"

Something about the way we phrased our questions allowed our actions to determine our fate.

He leaned in again, and I met his lips in its journey to rediscover mine. We were non-stop from the outside of the door, and we were relentless on the inside when it quietly shut and locked behind us.

Damn, could he kiss!

He was excellent in bed too. Very, very good.

"Damn!"

I was asleep when he had jumped out of bed. He was frantic and cursing his whole life existence because he was about to miss ship movement. It was very awkward between us.

"I have no idea what to say in situations like this, Michonne because I have never been in a situation like this before in my life."

I watched Rick struggled to slip his boots on while standing.

"Damn, do you even know how to get back to your hotel, Michonne?"

I didn't have a chance to respond.

"Fuck, I can't even make sure you even get back. I can't even make sure you are at least in the right direction."

"Don't worry about me. As long as I can read and things are in English, I will get to the airport if nowhere else. I'll get a taxi from here. Go."

I was still naked while I watched him contemplate kissing me or just leaving. He was standing at the foot of the bed completely conflicted until I shooed him.

"Go. You are in trouble as is."

He had left.

Ricks sudden departure left everything unanswered but one thing for sure, I would do it again in a heartbeat if he wanted too.


	4. Rick Confides in Daryl

"A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you."  
 **― Elbert Hubbard**

* * *

Michonne had lost her ID card. She was absolutely stunning as I watched her search her purse including her matching designer wallet. It was the first time I had ever laid eyes on her way before Hong Kong.

Her nails were done. She looked really nice. Smelled nice too. I liked the gloss on her lips and the way her hair was done up. She didn't make a fuss when I explained the lost ID policy. She didn't insist that I should know her husband or that she was above the rules everyone else adhered to on the base. I liked the fact she was different than anyone I had ever known. She didn't make me sorry she lost her ID. I was strangely sympathetic.

"Is this your first time, ma'am?"

"Yes. I am so sorry for holding up the line."

"It's okay. Just go inside that building there and let them know what happened. They will give you a temporary pass. You have your stateside driver's license?"

"Yes. I have my Georgia license."

"You're from Georgia?"

"Yes."

"You don't sound like it."

"I was raised by my Bigmama in Atlanta. When I went off to college, she moved to King's County."

"I am from King's County. But yeah go on inside Ms. Michonne Benton they will get you hooked up with an ID as quickly as possible."

"Thank you Petty officer 1st Class, Grimes."

"You're welcome, ma'am." It was hard to fight the smile on my lips.

She seemed kind-hearted, considerate.

* * *

I began to notice her in places that I never saw her before. She was a jogger. I would sit in the military police vehicle on base and watch her. She had a routine. I was amazed at her endurance, her stamina. She was physically fit without having someone tell her she needed to run a mile and a half and by my estimation, she ran 5 miles or more almost every day.

Whenever I would see her in the store, she was either looking at the expensive bags that were offered at the military store, or she was in the health food aisle. Most times she was accompanied by my wife's friend Sasha.

I was developing a crush on Michonne. It was weird. I hadn't felt like that since Lori in high school.

There were only two people I could talk to about it. What I was feeling was beginning to become too much to conceal. The two people I had were Shane and Daryl. I mostly chose Daryl. Shane was my last resort due to his ability to make me feel like I was being welcomed in some club or fraternity of no goods, cheaters.

"Man, what kind of shit you trying to get yourself mixed up in? You know damn well you are supposed to follow the routine. Go home, eat whatever is cooked because it is better than the ship's food, relax, then go to bed, fuck your wife, sleep, and wake up to do it all over again. Anything else is complicating your life when you don't have too."

Daryl and I kept pace dressed in our PT gear that morning as we jogged the perimeter of the military sports and recreation field.

"I'm just asking if you ever had a crush or found someone more attractive than Sasha? That was all."

'Naw. I ain't looking."

"Really?"

"Looking is to entertain bullshit. I ain't about bullshit."

I shrugged my shoulders finding no kindred spirit in Daryl. I felt Daryl wouldn't understand.

"Are you checking out someone you think is better looking than Lori?"

"Yeah."

"How long this been going on?" Daryl asked.

"For a while."

"A while?"

"A long while. We officially took it there in Hong Kong."

"What happened in Hong Kong?"

"I had never cheated on my wife so this is foreign to me. I had never expected to ever meet someone like her and I did."

"You bullshitting me? Something happened?"

"No bullshit. Yeah. Something happened. It happened all night and into the next day. I don't know how to think about it, and it- _her_ is all I think about. I need someone to talk to about what happened. I was hoping it would be you."

"Sounds like you doing it now. I'm asking questions. I'm listening. I don't plan to tell no one what you tell me either. If shit went down for me I think I would hope to expect the same from you."

"Surprised Shane didn't tell you."

"Tell me what exactly, when the shit you are telling me almost got me winded?"

"I had almost missed Ship's movement."

"What the fuck?"

"A week later we met up in Singapore and did it again."

"Lori knows yet?"

"No."

"She will. Let me be the first to tell you, women have spidey senses when it comes to shit like what you talking about. Trust me. In due time she will find out if you don't plan to stop."

"I don't know what I'm doing right now. I mean I stopped. But I can't stop thinking about her."

"What I want to know is why ain't Lori meeting you in some of those places? Money tight?"

"There is always an excuse with Lori. I think the worse thing for her was to move here."

"There could be worse things."

"Plus, she's envious of the officer wives. If she were an officer wife, she wouldn't have to be on a beer budget. She could easily take Carl and Judith with her on port visits if we had more money."

"What's wrong with a beer budget?" Daryl asked.

"She wants things. Nice things. I got her a purse from Hong Kong made of real leather. She didn't like it. Told me so straight to my face. I wasted money buying her a knock off. It wasn't branded at all just a plain purse."

"Lori doesn't ever seem like she is happy about anything. I don't mean no disrespect, but after Judith, she just seems pissed off. Have you ever asked her what's wrong?"

"I can't because I am supposed to know. She didn't have to come to Japan, and she won't let me forget it every day that we are stationed here. She always says she could have stayed in Georgia."

"Lori in Georgia? You here? You would be out of control with your bullshit if that were the case."

"Bullshit?"

"She's miserable, and you are obviously unhappy if you fucking around with someone else."

"I can't remember the last time Lori and I kissed. I'm not talking about a peck on the cheek, I'm talking full blown kissing. I missed that. I miss kissing."

"Kissing, huh?"

"I'm a man that doesn't ask for much."

"Instead of asking your wife to tongue you, you go elsewhere. What sense does that make?"

"Lori's not interested. Said as much."

"What's kissing the other person like?"

"Fucking amazing. Different."

"Different?"

"A good different."

"She's Japanese?"

"No."

"Don't make much difference since you plan to stop right? It ain't happening again, right?"

"That's why I need to talk about it."

"Here's some advice-do not keep in contact with her. You have a family dependent on you to do the right thing. Two kids. Lori ain't working anywhere and if she is anything like 75% of these wives, she ain't planning on working anywhere. Secretly happy to cut and share coupons and compete with scrapbooking. The last thing you need is the other woman showing up at your house or calling your wife out of the blue to inform her of something she wasn't yet aware of about what really went down in Hong Kong."

"Shit."

"What's wrong?"

"She's jogging up toward us."

"Only one person is coming our way and-"

"It's her."

"You're fucking around with my wife's friend Michonne? She's an officer's fucking wife? The officer that works on the same fucking ship? You fucking kidding me right? Right?"


	5. Daryl

"A good friend keeps your secrets for you. A best friend helps you keep your own secrets."  
 **― Lauren Oliver , Before I Fall**

* * *

It was a shit storm brewing with a whole lot of he said she said. I didn't like that my wife and I were in the middle of it. We were burden with trying to help keep the shit from hitting the fan. We failed in so many ways because I didn't know Rick was supposed to be with me that day. I didn't know he had told Lori we were at the bar or that he was hanging out in my home. Shit.

I've been through this shit before. I fucked around on Carol with Sasha. The difference, I wasn't married to Carol, but I was living with her when I met Sasha. Thinking about it, I don't think there is much of a difference. Shit wasn't fun when Carol found out seven years ago.

I couldn't understand why Rick couldn't take that one time hiccup to his grave. I soon found it wasn't just that one time. Even though there was that time in Singapore, I saw that as a one time fuck up in a span of days. The secret trip they had taken to Nagasaki Japan was crazy. I couldn't understand why he just couldn't stop fooling around with the officer's wife.

What Rick was doing was also affecting my marriage to Sasha. I blamed Sasha for being friends with Michonne in the first place. I thought if they weren't friends Michonne and Rick would've never happened. The shit I got from Rick indicated that shit would have gone down and it had nothing to do with Sasha making Michonne easily accessible. Michonne didn't have the boundaries like the other officers' wives when associating with us lower ranks.

I had to remember infidelity had its cesspool, and it seeped through ranks, race, age, gender, and handicap. There wasn't a shot you could get like the damn flu. Shit man.

I had apologized to my wife. That shit that was going on between my friend and Sasha's friend had everything to do with an attraction that was going to destroy everything in its path if we didn't stand an aside and stay the fuck quiet. If we were indeed their friend we had to be ready to help, be an ear.

Rick confided in me, telling me all sorts of shit from how it began in Hong Kong. How the sex was the best, he ever had in his life. Then it was a tearful confession that he had fallen in love with Michonne, and how he was going to confess to his wife, Lori. He was going to ask for a divorce because he was in love with Michonne and unhappy with Lori.

I continued to call bullshit.

When you are married-no one promised you it meant you were going to always be happy. There were going to be dissatisfaction. For better or for worst, right?

I believe cheating is a mental illness. I experienced first hand when I did Carol wrong. You really don't know how sick your mind is until you start doing things you would never have done in a million years.

I had watched my friend Rick morph into someone I didn't recognize anymore. He was at his lowest, and the only cure was for him to get the fuck out the military like Lori demanded and get his ass back to Kings County. I really believed that at the time.

I almost couldn't believe the shit when I heard it. Less than a year and a half later him and Lori were divorced.

"Well, damn."

"They split custody."

Sasha had turned from her laptop when I sat down next to her.

"Yeah?"

I opened my laptop.

"When was the last time you called him Daryl?"

"It's been a while. I'm still trying to get over the fact they are divorced."

"She sent me a Facebook message. I had an idea something was up based on her Facebook posts, and she began putting more sexy pictures up."

"Let me get on facebook. I haven't been on in a while. Let me see what Rick is up to." I began hunting and pecking at the keyboard with my index fingers. Never learned to type like normal people.

I shot him a message. He shot me one back a few seconds later. We began back to talking from there.

Rick responded quickly and eventually in the back and forth he told me he was divorced and he had the kids every other weekend.

I asked what came about him and Michonne. Something told me to not type it in my conversation but it was too late.

 **Daryl** : So what's up with you and Michonne.

 **Rick** : She seemed to have vanished. I don't think she does Facebook because I can't seem to locate her on it.

 **Daryl** : You still after her?

 **Rick:** Still. She didn't really have any friends other than your wife.

 **Daryl** : You are kidding me right?

 **Rick** : Do you think you can ask Sasha?

 **Daryl** : Why don't you facebook her?

 **Rick** : Sasha's your wife. You have a rule she can't facebook men. Plus, I'm not about to try and friend your wife knowing how you feel about it.

 **Daryl** : Glad to know you understand and respect the rules here in Daryl's Kingdom.

 **Rick** : I am going to call you. I don't like all this typing.

 **Daryl** : Yeah you do that. My number is 888-555-7777.


	6. Ask Sasha

"I don't care about whose DNA has recombined with whose. When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching-they are your family."  
 **― Jim Butcher, Proven Guilty**

* * *

"You want to fucking do what?"

"I want to date Lori."

"Lori, who?"

"Your ex-wife."

"Are you fucking serious right now? Are you really asking me for my permission?"

"Well, technically no. I was technically giving you a heads up."

I couldn't believe my ears. Shane and Lori? Lori and Shane? My best friend and my Ex-wife?

"I have no idea how to respond to you right now," I admitted I was at a lost for words to describe my thoughts that ranged from deadly confusion.

"You've been divorced a year now, and if it is going to be a problem, then I will back off."

"I would think that would have been the first appropriate thing. I mean I would think Lori should be fucking off limits."

"Why the fuck are you getting riled up buddy? I will back the fuck off. How the hell would I know you still had feelings."

"I don't have feelings for Lori the way you are implying. I don't care who Lori dates or sleep with I do care when it's someone who...you know what?" I stopped myself short, "You two do what the fuck you want. You will do it anyway."

I was done with Shane. Right then and Right there.

There wasn't anything he could do to make it right with me. Especially after the kids told me their Uncle Shane was staying overnight, I couldn't help but be pissed off. I tried to make sure it didn't affect our work environment in the sheriff office, but on a personal level, I wasn't fucking with Shane.

The divorce happened. We struggled to stay together, but it was easy to let go in the end. It was easy to sign those papers to free ourselves of each other.

Lori took it as an opportunity to let her hair down. She wore makeup. She was dressed more provocatively, and she was constantly on dating sites like Tinder. She always had a date or was at the local tavern.

I didn't live that far from my wife with whom I shared custody of our two kids. The short distance made it easy for Carl and Judith to just stay with me even when it wasn't my turn. I preferred it that way because the thought of random men around my children didn't sit well with me.

I couldn't get into the swing of dating. I had been set up twice, and each time there was no spark. There weren't any instantaneous fireworks, and I didn't try and just let things fizzle at the greeting. I just wasn't interested. My focus was on my job and my two kids, Carl and Judith Grimes.

* * *

It was random for me to even be on facebook at the time that I received Daryl's message about making sure he had a job lined up when he got to King's County. To finally have someone to talk to who knew my whole story was a welcome change. There weren't missing pieces of my story or who I really was to someone. Daryl knew everything about me next to maybe Lori.

"I haven't talked to you in a long time man."

"Yeah. Sorry for being a pretty shitty friend." I had admitted.

"I've been a shitty friend. Thought you and Lori needed some space to get your shit together. Never thought it would end in divorce. I am sorry to learn about it."

"It was best for the both of us. I wasn't at peace and Lori couldn't make peace. Just wasn't going to work between us."

"Sorry to hear it."

"Shane is dating Lori now."

"No shit? You didn't kick his ass for it?"

"The last thing I need is for Lori to think I am fighting over her."

"But she fought Michonne."

"And Lori got herself beat up and arrested and singlehandedly got us kicked out of the said foreign country. Shit, I would like to forget."

The whole situation was burned into my memory, and the pain was still fresh. The look on Michonne's face when I left the Japanese police station with Lori...

"That was a sad state of affairs."

"Imagine going to the Koban and not being able to get the woman you really want to be released from custody."

"Damn man. You still got Michonne on your brain?"

"Still. I can't find her and Michonne isn't on Facebook unless she has her profile hidden. I have done a search at work that comes up with no results other than she is still somewhere in South Asia Pacific. I know she said she has a relative that lives here in King's County, but I never thought to ask her who?"

"She could still be married. You probably need to move the fuck forward, Rick."

"Is she still married?"

"I would have to ask Sasha. The hell if I know. I never thought you and Lori would divorce when you got kids with each other."

"Do you think Sasha will help since she may still be in contact with Michonne?"

"Right now she is saying hell no, she won't help. Sasha still blames you for how everything went down."

* * *

A/N: Still working on cleaning this up 01/27/2019 11:35am


	7. Drama

"If you hang out with chickens, you're going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you're going to fly."  
 **― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience**

* * *

"Michonne I am really not understanding you. You aren't making sense."

"It wasn't just Hong Kong, Singapore, and Nagasaki Japan. We have been off base too."

"Y'all saw each other off this military base, outside these gates?"

"Yes."

"Michonne...Oh my God."

"We tried to stop. I tried. We tried. Rick has this."

I watched Michonne point at her chest, the place that housed her heart.

"Oh my god."

"I can't imagine what would have to happen to change that," Michonne admitted.

"Well, shit is about to get real. Damn, Michonne!"

"What do you mean, Sasha?"

"Lori called me and told me she found a piece of paper on the bedroom floor. She said she didn't know what told her to pick it up and OPEN it instead of picking it up and tossing it in the trash. It was a hotel room in HONG KONG for two people. She's been asking Rick about it, and he's been stuttering. She has found a few receipts dated for times he said he had Duty or Overnight watch. Hotel receipts. Receipts that emphasize two people checked in. Hotels that are off of this base."

I watched Michonne cover her face as I continued.

"Lori is on a rampage. This has the potential to be extremely ugly. For the last couple of days, Rick's been talking Daryl's ear off about it. Tell me what the fuck are you two doing?"

* * *

Daryl and I couldn't have a conversation with each other that didn't consist of Rick and Michonne. We didn't realize how deep we were in their shit, until the impromptu house visits and calls at all hours. We had Michonne crying. Lori yelling, Rick flustered. Never at the same time nor together or experiencing the same level of emotions: Michonne Yelling, Lori crying and Rick still flustered.

I didn't like Rick and Daryl did not like Lori nor did he like Michonne very much.

Daryl would try to make the point, "Why would anyone want someone who would help you cheat on your spouse? Why would Rick want a woman like that?"

"Well, you married me even though I took you from Carol."

"And, I've been paranoid ever since. The reason why I set parameters with you and you me. I have no women on my facebook or that I am chatting with on any social media. I'm trying to stay right, and the conversation turns left. I have a part of my brain awake on the bullshit. I ain't trying to take us there and hope you ain't."

"The shit we have been through to get to this point Daryl, I ain't trying to mess it up," I promised.

"You keep me fed, You give me good loving. You don't talk my ear off soon as I get through the door. You happy to see me and I keep your pockets lined with E6 pay. I say we have a good arrangement."

"You are so silly Daryl."

"You make me happy Sasha. I would give you the world if I had it to give."

"I know. Now, kiss me you sexy beast."

Before Daryl could tongue me down, the doorbell was ringing. We broke from our kissing session on the couch to find Rick and Lori Grimes on the steps of our housing unit. This was our first mental, 911. It was 9:30 pm.

No- _hello_. _Are we interrupting anything?_

"Daryl, where were you on the night of-" Lori began but was immediately stopped short by my husband, Daryl who spoke directly to the man who couldn't control his home nor his dick.

"What the hell, Rick?"

"She won't stop," Rick informed us.

"Why would I stop? You are fucking someone Rick, and I have no idea who. I found 3 more receipts. One in your military pant back pocket as I was going to do laundry. One in your wallet and the random one on the floor. Daryl did you and Rick get a room because you two were too drunk from..."

"Why don't you believe what Rick is telling you, Lori?" I had asked pointedly.

"I'm sorry about this, Daryl, Sasha. Fuck fuck fuck fuck."

"I walked over here to get some answers since this lying jackass has been on a lying spree for how long I can only imagine, but it must have started in Japan."

Daryl and I were both speechless because we both had the answers she was looking for, but no way was it our place to reveal that she was wrong-it was Hong Kong.

We watched Lori waltz into our home without an invitation.

Rick was hesitant and embarrassed after I eyed him good in hopes Daryl was doing the same. He was not. He was too busy staring at the tile floor beneath his sock covered feet. If my eyes were actual daggers, my husband and Rick both had fucking holes. My husband for allowing paper thin Lori to get inside our home and stupid ass Rick for being so damn careless to keep receipts.

"There's a couple of people that have said they have seen Rick with someone off base, but they don't want to get involved. I even went to the hotel, and they won't even tell me how many times Rick has reserved a room with them. The receipts show he had paid in Yen. I checked our credit card statement, and there was a hotel in Singapore that shows up and another one in Nagasaki Japan when I thought he should be staying on the ship."

"Lori, have you considered this is a private matter? You and Rick should try to take this under your own roof?" I had firmly suggested options.

Rick found the tile floor interesting like Daryl as he spoke, "Lori is breaking shit and sooner or later the base police will be called, and I can't get her to calm down. I walked away. I come back after some time to give her chance to calm down. Didn't take much to see she hadn't. I took our kids over to the neighbor. Found her walking to your place and..."

"I need the truth, Rick," Lori demanded. "I need the truth! When you left the house, you were gone for 6 hours. Where did you go?"

My gut told me exactly where he went. I was there when he came to console an extremely distraught Michonne earlier.

"See this is what I am talking about. My husband here has that look that you can see where he would rather try and swallow a large fist full of rocks and choke than spit it out. Fuck you, Rick!"

Lori was in a rage and began shoving Rick. Daryl quickly stepped in. Lori was trying with all her might to fight Rick in our home.

She was destroying not only her own shit but now our shit too.


	8. Battle On Blue Street

_"I don't suppose you have many friends. Neither do I. I don't trust people who say they have a lot of friends. It's a sure sign that they don't really know anyone."_  
 **― Carlos Ruiz Zafón,** **The Angel's Game**

* * *

Sasha called me crying while I was at work on the ship. I listened to her voicemail, and it hurt me to hear my baby crying. I left everything. Didn't care what kind of trouble I could have gotten into. I did tell my chain of command but didn't wait for a yes or no. I was gone as quickly as I could change into civilian clothes. I had to find Sasha.

She was at the Koban station. Detained by the Japanese police.

I spotted her immediately as she was talking through an interpreter trying to relay the events of Lori trying to jump Michonne with the help of two other wives whose husbands were E4s. I have no idea why Lori would wait until the very day she and Rick were to leave for the United States to start acting a fool out in town, but I guess it was a good enough time as any.

Rick had made a decision to not re-enlist. He had a sheriffs job lined up in Kings County. He planned to get Lori to Stateside and drop the divorce bomb is what he told me.

To this day I don't know who told Lori that it was Michonne or how it came about that the information was funneled to Lori. All I knew at the time was I had to pull Sasha from the bullshit, and if that meant cutting ties with Michonne, she had to do it. I don't want bullshit attached to me in any kind of way, and it was trying to latch on with a firm grip if the police of any kind were involved and Sasha was detained because of it.

"All I said was stay out of it."

"You really think I am going to let three people jump Michonne, Daryl?"

"No. I know you wouldn't let things go down like that. Let me see your knuckles again."

I kissed her scrapped skin she on her finger had and her cheek. I wasn't going to let up though.

"You could have gotten yourself hurt worse than what you got. Plus attaching yourself, us to some shit. I mean it could still be some shit now the military police are involved."

"Mike going inside the Koban and not having Michonne released into his custody was a bitch ass move. He showed absolutely no concern. I mean it was pure chaos out on Blue Street. Chaos. All of the Japanese everywhere and then police swooped in." Tears began to fall from Sasha's eyes.

I held my wife tighter because she was becoming a rollercoaster of emotions out in public.

"Look like Michonne could handle herself. Lori sitting there with a black eye and a busted lip and the other two don't look like they fared too well neither." What I had said was enough for her to fight a smile.

I was holding Sasha's hand as we walked back to the base when we came across an angry Rick Grimes heading in our direction of the Koban.

"Yep. You need to get your wife."

"I am so fucking embarrassed. My chief even said, luckily I didn't re-enlist because he would have me at mast so fast my head would spin. I have to get Lori from here to the fucking plane."

"Mike walked out on Michonne. He refused to have her released into his custody. Took one look at the situation and with Lori running off at the damn mouth, he did an about-face." I informed Rick, so he knew what to expect.

"Damn it! Shit."

"Go, Rick and don't fucking look back. The Japanese shop owners want to press charges of some kind, they want monetary gifts that say you are very sorry and I know money is damn tight. Get the hell on the first plane out of here."

* * *

It took time for things to die down. The gossip mill was churning until it had nothing more to stir about the events that happened off base on Blue Street. I called Rick at the last known number I had for him. The conversation quickly went from right to left and then south.

"You need to work things out with Lori. Fucking around just ain't right and-."

"Why is it that everyone thinks I was fucking around? Like the shit didn't mean anything to me? Like, Michonne was just fuck-able? Why is that? Is it easier to digest? Is it easier to wrap the mind around it? If anyone should be able to understand where I am coming from it should be you Daryl, but it seems to me you like to think you are different from me somehow. You can stand on some pretense of do _as I say but not as I have done_. I will say this to you plain as I can. I didn't just fuck around with Michonne, I fell in love with her."

Rick had me speechless at this. I had nothing more to say. I heard the click of his phone and that was the last time we had spoken to each other.

Less than a year later he was divorced from Lori, and I had learned that from Sasha like I said before. I reached out to him, and I felt the same thing when we had the last conversation...Whatever was going on with him regarding Michonne before was just as intense and raw for Rick now.

"I am going to have a talk with Sasha to see where her mind is on it. I will call you back when I have any information about Michonne. I may not be in King's County, but if I can get it beforehand, I will tell you."

"Thanks, Daryl."

* * *

Original Author Notes:

A/N: I am fascinated with the responses to this. My goal was to evoke emotion in the reader to see it from a different perspective or vantage point. I think I am more in sequence than I have ever been before in a long while. Not _true_ sequence but comparatively speaking...lol. I hope I didn't just jinx myself. Ha.


	9. Sasha: Phone And Facebook

"Things that matter are not easy. Feelings of happiness are easy. Happiness is not. Flirting is easy. Love is not. Saying you're friends is easy. Being friends is not."  
 **―** **David Levithan,** **Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List**

Mike had gotten Michonne together real quick.

Big Navy made him get Michonne when it was reported to them that Mike refused to have her placed in his custody.

Michonne's husband had her cat Cheesy in a carrier vet documentation ready to fly out. Mike escorted Michonne to the Narita airport on a one-way flight out of Japan. One thing about Mike he is straightforward and he ain't about any bullshit. His career was more important than his marriage and the way Michonne went about stuff he wasn't going to work on it.

I wasn't aware Michonne had asked him for a divorce earlier in the day. She had never disclosed that to me until she was safely stateside.

I really didn't like the way Lori went about it, and she was on my shit list. Months later she sent facebook messages apologizing, but I put it here on ignore. I can't stand ignorance and Lori was really bred from the ignorant kind.

She was posting cryptic messages that were obvious to anyone that knew her, she was unhappy, and her marriage was unraveling. Lori was betrayed by Rick.

Everyone didn't need to know.

One thing I can say, Carol never tried to confront me. She took it out on Daryl and put his ass out immediately. She didn't take anyone's shit. You're a liar? Peace out. I sometimes wonder if I would have had gone through all that Michonne had gone through would Daryl be worth it?

"I just needed someone to talk to..."

I'm listening to Lori trying to find a redemptive quality. There were none.

"...I never wanted to be a navy wife. I never wanted to leave King's County, but Rick thought it would be a good thing for us to see the world since he had always wanted to see the world. I didn't. I wanted to live and die in Kings County. Since I was forced to experience it, I am more dead set on staying where I can enjoy family and friends that I had known all my life. I don't have any regrets about that."

"You don't have to justify your way of thinking or life to me, Lori."

I had no clue to what she was getting at, and if I had known it was her calling from the new phone number, I wouldn't have answered my phone.

"I was a fool. I am sorry for what I had done, and I was hoping you could pass it along to Michonne."

"What made you come to this realization Lori?" This apology was a surprise if short lived. Lori wanted to harp on her Ex.

"I fought over someone I can't stand to look at or be in the same bed with. I did and said a lot of things that now made me appear deranged and foolish. Rick and I were at a point we didn't talk, and we didn't want to either. It's like we had gone completely cold towards each other. We both couldn't warm up to the idea of staying married. Essentially I could never trust him. We were wasting time we can't get back when trying to follow some phony script that we can make it work despite all of our negative feelings. Somehow the positive will eventually outweigh the bad."

"Well, things take time Lori. It's only been three months."

"I remember that look he gave her at the Koban station. If he could have left me there and taken Michonne out, he would have. My gut tells me that I wasn't his choice, but he was forced to choose me. That hurts just as much if not more."

"I am sorry."

"You knew all along didn't you?"

"Yes."

"If I were Michonne, would you have told me?"

"No."

It was the cold hard truth.


	10. Let's Take A Tour

"I think it happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you've known forever don't see things the way you do. And so you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on."  
 **― Nicholas Sparks, True Believer**

* * *

Lori and I were back in the States. We moved into her parent's rental property in a decent enough neighborhood with sidewalks. They were glad to have us back but quickly realized that things weren't right between Lori and me.

They offered us advice that fell on deaf ears. They offered to take the kids off our hands in hopes that would be a solution for us to find our way back to a better place. Lori and I did not want to spend more time together, alone. We needed the kids to keep us distracted. It was evident to anyone with eyes our marriage had run its course.

It was a random day when I said it. It was the only thing on my mind as we sat on the couch together trying to catch up on an episode of the Walking Dead while the kids were asleep. I was going to be as honest in our neutral zone while sitting in front of the television.

"I can't do this."

"I can't either."

"I found a place three miles away."

I had taken every spare minute I had to scour the area for a place I could afford and remain accessible to my children.

"Good."

"I would say so." I was relieved.

"I won't contest it."

This was Lori's way of saying the ball was in my court to get the papers done.

"Nothing to contest."

It was the truth since we didn't own a home. Our cars were older models and paid for in cash. We only had our children, and it didn't take long for Lori to consider me the best babysitter when she wanted to go out at night.

"I just want it over with as quickly as possible."

"Glad to know we are in agreement," I responded back.

"We are."

She pressed play on the DVR and we continued to watch a show we weren't really interested in now that we were more miserable than ever. We could actually relate to the Zombies if we were to remain married..

That was how our divorce went down. I moved into my new place without incident.

My thoughts may have consisted of day to day routine of job, kids, and maintaining a home but I always had room for Michonne. It seemed like time flew by but the nights dragged on as I dreamt of her, desired only her, longed for her and I regretted not choosing her.

* * *

"I'm not ever giving up on this thing between us."

"Thank you."

"I have to get Lori back stateside first."

"I understand Rick." Michonne rested her head on my bare chest. This was officially our last hours cuddled up in a hotel off base before the next day revealed the unexpected upheaval planned and orchestrated by my wife Lori and two other women with enough courage to make an ass of themselves.

"She knows. Lori knows, but she doesn't know it's you."

"Do you think she will find out?"

"I'm not sure how. We have been discreet about what we are doing."

"Discreet has gone out the window with you coming in broad daylight to officer housing looking for me."

I felt an increasing irrational desire to be with her. I was on the verge of recklessness. It was reckless.

"You weren't answering your phone."

"Because we were going to behave. Well, you wanted to behave, after citing your children as good reasons to remain married and I agreed. I had no reason to answer my phone on the fourth ring or the fifth ring or the sixth ring when you said the odds of us working out isn't likely due to your kids need for stability."

"I didn't say that, Michonne."

"You implied that."

"Implying and stating are two different things."

"I know how to use those terms when and if we were doing legal gymnastics regarding a defendant. Trust me when I tell you I am aware of the difference, but my heart wasn't having any more discussion about it when it was breaking in a thousand pieces."

I had gathered right then she was in love with me more than I could ever imagine. Most of her descriptors eluded me but the nuance I felt strongly.

I knew I needed to again make it clear to Michonne what I was doing and why.

"I am going to divorce my wife. I can't stay married to her when I am in love with you. I want to be with you in every way possible."

"Okay."

"I have to get her Stateside, first."

"Okay."

"What about Mike? What's the plan?" I too needed reassurances.

"I am going to tell him in the morning. He should be off the ship."

This worried me.

"How do you think he's going to take it?"

"I don't know. Probably indifferent." She shrugged.

Michonne had actually gone through with her request for a divorce the next morning. It was that afternoon Michonne was jumped by my wife and two other enlisted wives causing everything to come to a screeching halt in my mind once I was told to go and get Lori.

I had no idea why I would want to go get Lori when everything was being told to me in pieces. I was slow to show relief that she wasn't pronounced dead somewhere. Then it soon all came together when I heard over the intercom in the office that an officer's wife was attacked. Every. Single. Thing. Escalated.

Big Navy was involved.

Careers were affected, and wives were deported, flown out, just so happened our flight was scheduled that evening, and we were about to miss it if I didn't hurry.

Lori had an eye that was turning blue and a busted lip. She ran into my arms like I was to save the day, but it was all for show. She was putting on a show for Michonne. I couldn't bring myself to embrace her as she clung to me. Face in my chest. All I saw was Michonne barely answering the interpreter's questions. If looks could kill, I was a dead man based on how Michonne cut me with her glare. I wasn't hugging Lori back was my only defense.

* * *

My mind always traveled back to Singapore when Michonne was on the ship being escorted around by her husband. I waited for the moment for him to become distracted to the point he had to leave her side to have a chance to talk to her.

"We are going to have to stop meeting like this," I had said to her.

"Rick?"

"Looks like you are going to need another tour guide. Maybe not here but off the ship?"

I knew her husband wasn't going to leave the ship due to mechanical issues that had to be addressed and he only had Michonne aboard to appease her. The look she gave me told me everything I needed to know. I would be able to have another go around. I wanted her, I dreamed of her, I pursued her and then I soon fell fast in love with her.

"How did you not get in trouble?"

I shrugged and scratched my brow with my thumb unable to fight the mischievous grin. Soon we found ourselves again on a tour of a lifetime.

I climbed on top. I took my time. I entered her slowly. Our eyes were locked. Her walls slowly allowed me to go deeper. Just the feel of her all around me had me inhale her essence that fueled my inability to ever want to stop. I wanted to kiss her, but I didn't want to break the connection we were sharing, right then, right there.

"I don't think I will be able to get enough of you, Michonne. Damn it. This has been on my mind. Right here. Everything I want to do with you, to you." I held her wrists in place above her head. She was a back scratcher, and I wasn't ready to be scratched. Not yet. Not right then.

"Please, do it. Do it all." She moaned.

"Got damn. Move those hips like that. Move them like-fucking that."

Michonne was just incredible in bed. Incredible. Her stamina matched mine. I love a sweaty Michonne.

' _Tour guide_ ' was our code language from that point forward.

By the time the ship was dry docked back in Japan, I was utterly and hopelessly consumed with being with Michonne I eventually became sloppy since I had never cheated on Lori before. This was my first time, and I had no idea how it was done without stumbling at some point. I knew of a few military members who had multiple women they were juggling. Even with what I was doing or had done with Michonne I couldn't understand what drove other men to want every accessible woman.

I just wanted Michonne in the worse way. The shit was painful and extreme. Lying to Lori became easier. I had tried to use my job as the excuse for the reason I was gone overnight by using Duty or Watch. It made my absence more plausible.

I just needed more time spent with Michonne, and sometimes I didn't have a lot to spare. I lived for being able to inhale Michonne's scent in the crevice of her neck while only having enough time to embrace her and stealing a few passion driven kisses before having to rush off to a home that became just as foreign to me as the country we were residing. Our time was temporary in Japan, but my heart would forever be altered.

* * *

A/N: Corrections 02/03/2019 8:16pm. I am seriously moving at a snail pace.


	11. Pulled Back In The Mix

_"When you loved someone and had to let them go, there will always be that small part of yourself that whispers, "What was it that you wanted and why didn't you fight for it?"_  
― **Shannon L. Alder**

* * *

"How are you doing Michonne?"

"I am doing well, Sasha. I have a for sale sign up in my yard. I got two offers so far."

"That's so good to hear."

"Surprised how quickly the offers came in. One is requesting I leave my furnishings. Not going to happen."

"Where are you planning on going when the house is sold?"

"I was planning on traveling with the extra money or saving it and stay with my Bigmama who's been begging me to come and stay with her because she doesn't have much longer to live."

"I am sorry to hear-"

"Sasha my Bigmama ain't dying no time soon. Her way of guilting me to come to stay by her is all."

"Oh. Good. Do you want a traveling partner if you decide to travel?"

"You know full well Daryl won't allow you out of his sight. Especially with someone like me who's been officially banned from all military installations even though I was the one that was jumped."

"You gave Lori a real good ass whooping though Michonne. I don't blame you one bit. I can't understand how they could even say you were supposed to back down and take a beating."

"Trust me, I wanted to see it in writing."

"Total Bullshit. I had your back. Will always have your back. It wasn't fair, and I don't care if you could take on all three like the Black Mamba on Kill Bill."

"You are so silly. I can laugh about it now, but it wasn't funny then. I wanted to beat her ass some more just because she thought she could take me on. Crazy ass Heffa."

"I miss you Michonne."

"I miss you, Sasha."

"How's single life treating you?"

"I'm dating, and you are fishing, and you almost hooked me into telling."

"I need to know something to tell Rick."

"I should hang up on you."

"That's what I thought."

"You thought right."

"I'll tell Daryl."

"Where's this coming from? A year later?"

"He's divorced."

"Where is this coming from?"

"Daryl connected with Rick again. Daryl extended an olive branch and those two are back to talking."

"He had a choice. He chose his wife."

"They are divorced." I reminded.

"I don't care."

"Okay."

"She was clinging all over him, and he chose her."

"He didn't have much of choice. They had a flight that night and-"

"I had asked Mike for a divorce that fucking morning. Rick knew that shit because I told him I took care of my end. I wasn't surprised Mike was pissed off with Lori running at the fucking mouth that I was fucking her husband. I expected Mike to leave me there, I just didn't expect Rick to leave me there. You know what? I don't care. I don't want to relive it. It makes me real crazy. All in all, Rick didn't care enough about me."

"Okay, Michonne. I get it! If you don't care, I don't care."

"What is his version of events?"

"I didn't ask. Is it important?"

It was from that point Daryl and I were pulled back in.

* * *

It took entirely no time to be caught up in their shit again. I don't like back and forth and didn't really realize it until Sasha told me what Michonne said and to relay it back to Rick. I called him up because we both don't like all the typing when shit can easily be announced on the phone.

"How are things going?" I'd asked him.

"Could be better. You and Sasha made it to King's County yet?" Rick asked me.

"This Friday. Home Sweet Home."

"Nothing better."

"We will be living close to you according to Google Maps."

"Good. Barbeque and Beers."

"Hell yeah. What's up with you and Shane? Still a sour note? Barbeque and beers won't be the same now that I have to choose between the two of you."

"We're alright. I just ain't fucking with him. He moved in with Lori."

"Shit sounds foul as hell."

"It is but I can't put a thought in it because then I start to wonder how long this shit has been going on and I can't let those thoughts take over because then Lori would warp it in her mind that I have feelings for her when it ain't the case. I am focused on Shane's shit. Not her shit for fucking around with him of all people. Ain't the same. I am done with Lori. Been done."

"Say it loud and say it _Proud_ why don't you."

"End of the day I don't care if those two fuckers fuck each other. They deserve each other."

"So if they are seeing each other, who are you seeing?"

"I've tried to date. Twice I have been fixed up. Nothing came of it. Don't even remember their names...Wait...One was named Jessie I think."

"Blonde, blue eyes?"

"Pretty much. The person was someone from the station trying to set me up. Never realized I have gone completely against what people would consider my type."

"You know they have a saying for it."

"I know. Have you heard anything? Has Sasha contacted Michonne yet?"

"Yeah. It's a no go."

"What!?"

"Sorry, Rick."

"Why is that?"

"I had a feeling you weren't going to accept a no. Hold on a second..."

I had to ask Sasha details. Women and details go hand and hand. Sometimes distorted from anything close to the truth but Sasha was different. She was concise. She only provided details in the same manner. Straight to the point. That was why she was my baby.

"Why Michonne don't want anything to do with Rick?"

"He chose his wife at the Koban and not her."

"Rick, because you left with Lori."

"What in the hell?"

"All I got for your buddy."

"Michonne and I discussed this like a hundred times. I was to get Lori to stateside. She said she fucking understood."

"You know how women are they can-"

"Bullshit! Tell Sasha to tell Michonne we talked about this. We fucking talked about it. We had a plan. She was to tell Mike she wanted a divorce that morning. I was to go stateside with Lori so she wouldn't act any crazier than she was already acting. I could not ask Lori for a divorce while we were in Japan because she was hell-bent on going aboard ship to air our business."

"Shit still went to the ship, Rick. Big Navy. Can't get any bigger than that. Your wife was banned from all military installations because of jumping Michonne."

"Tell Sasha what I told you so she can tell Michonne."

Yeah! Me and Sasha, we were in the middle of their shit _again_.


	12. Numbers

"Would you rather live one perfect day over and over or live your life with no perfect days but just decent ones?"  
 **― Jenny Han, The Summer I Turned Pretty**

* * *

"Would you have left me at the Koban?"

"Are you Michonne or are you, Lori?"

Daryl was hesitant to answer my question as he sat at the dinner table waiting for me to serve his dinner.

"I am talking as your wife. Not Michonne or Lori. Would you have left me at the Koban?"

"Nah. I wouldn't have left you. I would have gotten you out of Japan and tried to work through it. I know I would want to fix our marriage."

"Really Daryl? If I cheated on you?"

"Yep. It would be hard no doubt, but I love you like a crazy girl."

"Reason number one why I would never cheat on you, 'cause you love me like a crazy boy."

"Come over here and give me some sugar."

"What kind of sugar you want, baby."

"The kind you put on the hot oil and let it brown real good."

"Ooh. I got exactly what you want..."

The phone rang. Mine and Daryl's at what seemed like the same damn time. Michonne was on mine and Rick was on his. We had only been in King's County for twenty-four hours.

"Hey, what's up Michonne?"

I could hear Daryl greeting Rick.

"Why do you think Rick is doing this?" Michonne immediately began without any pleasantries.

"Doing what?" I had asked.

"Coming all out of the blue."

"Michonne, he said he couldn't find you. Didn't know you changed your name from Benton."

"He works for the Sheriff's office, he would make a terrible detective."

"You are terrible. You know they have to have a reason to go into someone's private information. He was new in the department. Ain't like someone owed him a favor." I couldn't help but laugh.

"I am just not going to think about it any longer."

"It or him?"

"Both."

I had Daryl interrupting my conversation with Michonne. It was getting annoying and instantly tiring.

"What is Michonne saying, Sasha?"

"She is saying no."

"Rick, it is still no."

"Why again, Sasha?"

"Why don't you want to give him a chance Michonne. A chance to make it up to you?"

"I am still pissed, that's why. Everything is raw."

"He chose Lori over Michonne."

"You chose Lori over her. You want me to give Michonne your phone number since she ain't giving you hers?"

I was so surprised at Daryl's solution to this that if it worked, I was going to give him the best blow job of his life.

"Sasha ask Michonne if she will take down, Rick's phone number?"

"Michonne, do you want Rick's phone number or do you want me to give him yours?"

"Do not give him my phone number under any circumstances, Sasha."

"Will you take his?"

"No."

"She doesn't want his number, Daryl."

"Rick says to give it to her, don't ask her. Rick's number is 555-777-8888."

"Michonne, Rick's number is 555-777-8888."

"I'm hanging up, Good night Sasha." Michonne was annoyed. The annoyance was all in her tone.

The idea of giving Michonne the number was ingenious because a little-known fact was Michonne had a quirk about phone numbers. No matter how she would try to forget she always remembered numbers and would impulse dial the person who was causing her grief. Rick knew her less time than I did and he was privy to this information. It was something she didn't reveal to me until the third year of being friends with her. Pillow talk between Rick and Michonne must have been quite interesting.

I was off the phone with Michonne but Daryl was stuck with Rick for another 5 minutes before he let my husband go and the only reason he did was that Michonne was calling him.

* * *

I was not going to continue to be the go-between. The Middleman.

All I wanted to do was have a good time with my wife and the way she was looking at me I knew I just blew her mind with my novel idea of giving these two fools a way to contact each other and leave us out of it. I knew that look on my wife's face. She was going to make me a happy man. Afterward, I was going to sleep like a damn baby.

I had no clue Michonne had OCD. Rick was telling me about her numbers quirk. Sasha had given just glimpses of Michonne issues with this or that in the past. I had no clue until then that was one reason she was always well dressed, and according to Sasha, her house was immaculate. Nothing out of place. Everything must have an order to it, or she had to start over. Things didn't go right...she made lefts. Fascinating-if I cared, but I didn't care about other peoples tendencies.

What I did care about was Sasha's tongue doing crazy things to the shaft and the tip. That was all I cared about.


	13. Click

"It is absolutely okay with me if you need to keep some secrets. I've been thinking about this and I decided that a best friend is someone who, when they don't understand, they still understand."  
 **― Nancy Werlin, Impossible**

* * *

"It took you five minutes longer than usual to call me."

My heart was racing as I quickly checked to see that the number she was calling from was available for me to save. It was not.

"Your an asshole using numbers to get me to call you."

"I missed you Michonne."

"I am hanging up now."

The click had my heart pounding as I waited with my phone still in my hands. I waited five minutes and just like I knew she would, my phone rang.

"I really hate you right now, just as intensely as I hated you at the Koban station."

"Hate is a strong word, Michonne."

"That is how strongly I feel."

"You are describing the wrong word to how you feel or felt, Michonne."

"I am not. I am really annoyed right now. I am hanging up now."

The click was deafening. I waited five minutes and just like I knew she would, my phone rang, and it was Michonne again.

"I felt so much for you Rick. I would have done anything for you because I wanted to be with you. I would have not left you at the Koban Station. I would have chosen you. You didn't choose me, and I refuse to be driven crazy with why you didn't."

"Michonne, we talked about it the day before. We agreed."

"There were extenuating circumstances that I had to beat your wife's ass and her friends should have caused a different scenario to happen, Rick. There was a different scenario, and because you left me after knowing I told my husband, I can't forgive you. I can't. I am hanging up now."

I waited five minutes and just like I knew my phone rang and I didn't give her time to speak. I put it all on the line from my lips to her ear.

"I am still fucking in love with you Michonne. I am. I am sorry. I am very sorry, Michonne. I need you in my life, and if I had a fucking do over, I would have chosen you if I knew I would have to endure this amount of time without you. I have no idea why I didn't leave Lori's crazy ass right there at the Koban for the simple fact she tried to hurt the woman I loved, still love. I love you as I have never ever loved anyone in my entire life. If I knew you were out there, I would have never fucked around and married someone like Lori if I knew you existed out there waiting for me. You mean so fucking much to me, and I promise you with my last breath I would never ever hurt you like that...Ever. Tell me where you are, Michonne so I can see you, hold you, kiss you, make love to you. Please Michonne, tell me where you are?"

"Ummm, this is your ex-wife Lori. I was going to bring the kids by you, but I have changed my mind, motherfucker."

"Fuck. You just listened to all that and didn't stop me, Lori?"

"You are a fucking idiot. Michonne is a fucking idiot. You don't make smart decisions, and you are a bonafide asshole."

"Says a lot about you, Lori, if you married me. You aren't the brightest fucking light bulb."

"I fucking married you because I loved you and I thought you loved me. You are a liar, and she's a fool because once a cheater always a cheater."

"If that is the case then what the fuck are you doing with Shane?"

"Shane and I are none of your business Rick."

"Well ask Shane what was he doing with Karen behind the Honky Tonk Tavern last night. You have first-hand experience with a cheater you should be able to gauge by his response. Nothing fucking changed with Shane. The diagnosis is still the fucking same."

"You are just trying to make me doubt him."

"Who you shouldn't doubt is me when it comes to me coming for my kids. Don't doubt just because you aren't bringing my kids to me that I won't be there in 10 minutes to pick them up."


	14. Dial

_"I need a new friend. I need a friend, period. Not a true friend, nothing close or share clothes or sleepover_ giggle giggle yak yak _. Just a pseudo-friend, disposable friend. Friend as_ an accessory _. Just so I don't feel or look so stupid."_  
 **―** **Laurie Halse Anderson,** **Speak**

* * *

It was terribly humiliating to have Mike refuse my release into his custody. I knew he wasn't going to let shit slide because he and I were similar. We didn't let shit slide.

Lori had diarrhea of the mouth, and she wouldn't stop talking. She was totally foul. It only made me want to mop the floor up with her. She was providing my husband and anyone who understood English with all the details of what she knew about her husband and me.

Mike knew how I was. He knew I couldn't just have sex with anyone because of my quirks and how my brain was wired. He knew my inner workings. It wasn't some sordid affair. I had fallen in love, and it had nothing to do with being in a perfect arrangement.

I was detained by two foreign nationals who had terrible body odor. They kept relaying the same question over and over to the interpreter. I had to refocus and count the tiles, or I was going to lose my mind. When I lost count, I had to count how many crooked teeth the interpreter had in his mouth. I wondered if he was okay or self-conscious with them overlapping. I was going to lose my mind. I had to think about Nagasaki, Japan.

* * *

"Are we done with sightseeing?" Rick asked me. We were holding hands crossing the street.

"I would say we are. I really enjoyed the museums and learning more about how the radiation affected the people of Nagasaki's including their culture and livelihood. Everything has been fascinating, and it was kind of nice to be somewhere you haven't been."

I playfully bumped into Rick, and he smiled at me. His eyes got me every time. The most beautiful shade of blue that made me look forward to things to come.

"I still have quite a few places I would like to experience, and one of them is Mt. Fuji." Rick shared.

"You plan to take your family?" I had asked.

"I plan to take you, Michonne." Rick clarified his intentions.

"Is that so?" I was utterly taken aback. My heart began to soar. He was making plans for us to continue with whatever we were doing. Not once did I consider the cleanliness or climbing to unknown heights.

"Yes."

"I still haven't figured out how to ride the trains in Japan. I always end up..." I tried to play it off that it didn't mean much to me or that I wasn't ecstatic that we would be spending more time together.

"The trains aren't always going to go right Michonne even if you purposely try to make no lefts."

"You figured me out?" I was genuinely surprised.

"I think that is one of your major quirks."

"Oh my God. I was really trying hard to not be so weird."

"It definitely makes the sex interesting."

"You like smacking my ass, but it is not even-handed when you do it. I need to feel the sting evenly on each cheek. It has to be even." I was being playful and sexually suggestive at the same time which was interesting for me.

"Well, I have a place reserved for us so I can get some more practice in."

Rick was incredible.

He knew the right pressure to pull my dreads, and it felt so good as he practiced smacking my ass. I was so turned on how much Rick enjoyed when I milked his balls. He really loved being milked. He ejaculated twice in a row, and I lapped it up each time as he watched.

He smelled good down below, and his cum didn't have an off-putting odor or taste which made my whole experience with him amazing.

I didn't once have to count tiles or cracks or anything that my mind felt needed to be counted other than time. We had so little time together, but we made the best of each moment.

* * *

The trip to Mt. Fuji was planned. A two-day excursion.

I was able to get away and be with him there. I never asked him what excuse he used to be away from his family or from the ship. I had later learned from Sasha that Lori had found not only Hotel receipts, she also had military documentation that Rick had requested Leave for days at a time and she was puzzled by it because he was never home two or three days in a row nor on those specific days noted. Rick was with me, and I was with him.

Rick had everything set up where we could witness the sunrise as we climbed the different elevations or stations of Mt. Fuji. There were 10 stations, and we made it to the top of Mt. Fuji on the second day and down with a few tumbles and scrapes. We were so exhausted and sore we soaked in a Japanese Tub after we had showered. We just held each other for a short time, caressing our aches that were dull but would soon turn sharp and intense as the days whizzed by.

"I am going to be bruised. I will lose my toenail on my big toe, I can tell." Rick lifted his toe that was turning purple out of the water.

"I've scraped my whole right side coming down. It stings so bad." I winced.

He was sitting behind me in the tub as I sat between his legs. I could feel he was starting to have a slowly growing erection as he played with my nipples.

"Well, you pulled me with you down that slope of gravel, my left side will be black and blue. That should balance you out, Michonne."

" _You_ balance me out."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"You feel me behind you?" He began peppering kisses along the back of my neck.

"You have my nipples at attention. Do you feel them?"

Our questions tend to answer what was bound to happen when we were aroused.

When I was with Rick I felt strangely alive, and less trapped in my head. It was freeing to feel more open to trying new things. I felt safe when I was out of my element because he made my mind calm by his sudden kiss, or touch. I was less restricted. I knew because of this, him, I was officially in love.

"I want to have my way with you in this tub, right now. Lift your ass up and sit down on me real slow."

"You want me to ride you?"

"Yes. I want you to ride me real slow."

I lifted my ass up out of the water. I turned to see him bite down on his lower lip, eyes glued on me slowly consuming his tip.

"Yes. Ride me."

* * *

"Yeah, your wife has been fucking my husband, Rick for a while it seems. Did you know that Lieutenant Commander Benton? They've been fucking around since Hong Kong ain't that right Michonne?"

"You had asked me for divorce this morning. If you think I am about to take you out of this Koban station, you need to get your mind off the tile and think again, Michonne."

"I didn't call you Mike. You can fucking leave."

Mike didn't say another word.

The Japanese were trying to look bemused and annoyed at the same time. It was a bizarre sight to behold how their emotions were animated, cartoonish of the silly kind. The military police were taking notes and sending it to Big Navy. I was part of a fucking spectacle, and Mike detached quickly as humanly possible.

Mike got my cat Cheesy after he was instructed to have me released in his custody. He didn't take me back to the base to gather any additional belongings. He silently drove Cheesy and me to Narita airport.  
I dropped off the radar for a while. I had called Sasha maybe a handful of times in that year. I liked that we didn't have to be in contact with each other every day chatting on the phone about nothing friendship.

We would just pick up where we left off since time wasn't a factor in our friendship. Sasha and I didn't have issues or anything unresolved. I had no anxiety while with her.

I tried not to think about Rick.

I was beginning to obsess, so I had to go back on my pills prescribed by my psychiatrist. I think that was how I was able to get through that first year. A dull awareness, tolerable, less intrusive thoughts.

Eventually, I began to taper off. Self-wean. I was making good progress until I got a call from Sasha and the topic went to Rick.

 _555-777-8888._

I had tried to fight my compulsion to dial. I lasted 5 minutes which was a record, but now it meant I would have to call every 5 minutes until the situation felt resolved in my mind. I hate Sasha. I hate Rick. I don't like Daryl. Ughh.

 _"It took you five minutes longer than usual to call me."_

His voice caused my heart to race.

 _"You're an asshole using numbers to get me to call you."_

 _"I missed you Michonne."_

 _"I am hanging up now."_

{Click}

I hung up. Everything I wanted to say to Rick was flashing in my head. I walked away from my phone on the kitchen counter and sat in my living room trying to not count anything but time and the number 555-777-8888. I called Rick back.

 _"I really hate you right now, just as intensely as I hated you at the Koban station."_

 _"Hate is a strong word, Michonne."_

His voice began to stir a longing in my very core that I tried to keep medicated.

 _"That is how strongly I feel." I was defiant._

 _"You are describing the wrong word to how you feel or felt, Michonne."_

 _"I am not. I am really annoyed right now. I am hanging up now."_

{Click}

I wasn't numb like I would usually be when I took my pills. I touched my broken heart. It was in pieces in my chest. Neglected. I was pacing in my bedroom in tears with my phone in my hand. My mind knew to wait five minutes before redialing. I didn't wait for him to respond. I just began where the beginning was in my head.

 _"I felt so much for you Rick. I would have done anything for you because I wanted to be with you. I wouldn't have ever left you at the Koban Station. I would have chosen you. You didn't choose me, and I refuse to be driven crazy with why you didn't."_

 _"Michonne, we talked about it the day before. We agreed."_

I wanted to surrender but not so easy.

 _"There were extenuating circumstances where I had to beat your wife's ass, and her friends should have caused a different scenario to happen, Rick. There was a different scenario, and because you left me after knowing I told my husband, I can't forgive you. I can't. I am hanging up now."_

{Click}

I surpassed the 5-minute window of time. I made it to 10 minutes. He wasn't answering my calls. He wasn't picking up. I called 5 more times unblocking my number on the 5th call. He didn't call me back.

My obsession was back.


	15. Crash

_People will walk in and walk out of your life, but the one whose footstep made a long lasting impression is the one you should never allow to walk out."  
_ **― Michael Bassey Johnson**

* * *

I failed to sync my new phone to my pickup truck, and I kept feeling it vibrate. I was a stickler about safe driving habits. I never wanted to be a distracted driver, not for a second. Driving and Texting was and is a dangerous endeavor. I had been a witness to too many casualties that I can't wipe from my memory being part of law enforcement.

I had missed several calls from Michonne, and the whole thought had my mind in a whirl as my pickup came to a complete and sudden halt.

I had rolled into the back of Shane's newer model Ford Mustang with so much impact I thought for a second that was what drove him and Lori out of the house. The bang. There was a little old black woman that lived across the street who was on her porch with her hands on her hips who witnessed what I had done. I wouldn't be able to just drive off like I had nothing to do with it. She was watching.

I had absolutely no idea what caused me to check my caller ID to see all the missed calls I received from Michonne from the short time it took me to leave my house to go get my kids from Lori. Instead of paying attention to parking along the curb in front of my ex-wife's house, my pickup truck lifted the back of Shane's parked car.

It had taken me less than ten minutes to arrive to pick up Carl and Judith and then BANG! Fuck. I put my pickup truck in reverse, and there was no way of ignoring the damage I had caused to Shane's back end.

 _Fuck_

Lori had just followed Shane out of the house moments after it happened.

"Lori, I ain't got time for your shit! You don't trust me! I get it. Just because Rick fucked around on you doesn't mean I am. You are too fucking paranoid. I'm not going to be accused of shit."

Shane was standing on the porch, speaking at a volume that could have been heard by any straining ears of nearby neighbors including the one across the street.

"I only asked a question about what happened at the Honky Tonk, Shane. You are getting hell-bent because of a simple question?"

"See!? That's the shit I am talking about the simple question my ass."

"I am not asking you to leave, Shane." Lori reached out to slow Shane down from leaving.

"Just don't wait up for me." Shane shook his arm out of Lori's grasp.

"I'm sorry, Shane."

"I need some air...What the fuck happened to my car! What the fuckity fuck?"

I reached into my wallet and pulled out my insurance card and began dialing GO STOP Insurance to file a claim when a fist came out of nowhere, and all I saw were stars. Hundreds and Hundreds of Stars.

"Rick are you okay? Rick are you okay?"

"Lori? Where am I? What..." It all came back to me in a rush. I was going to knock Shane the fuck out the next time I saw him. My jaw will be sore for the next couple of day, guaranteed..

"Ms. Mabel had Tyrese carry you in the house. You're in our house. I mean my home on the couch. Shane knocked you out."

"It was an accident." I needed to clarify.

"Shane doesn't believe so. He thinks you still have feelings for me and-"

"You know that ain't true, Lori!"

"Well good luck trying to get Shane to believe you."

"I actually don't give a shit what he believes. You and I know the truth. Where are the kids?"

"They are over Ms. Mabel until things settle a bit."

"Who in the hell is Mabel?"

"The old woman across the street. The old black woman that never waves back at us. She took a liking to Carl and Judith."

* * *

A/N: Updated 01/30/2019 9:38pm

This has been time consuming. I want to post to other stories but I am going to fix and complete this so help me...UGHHHHHHHHHH!


	16. Blocked

_"The_ more _you talk about it, rehash it, rethink it, cross analyze it, debate it, respond to it, get paranoid about it, compete with it, complain about it, immortalize it, cry over it, kick it, defame it, stalk it, gossip about it, pray over it, put it down or dissect its motives it continues to rot in your brain. It is dead. It is over. It is gone. It is done. It is time to bury it because it is smelling up your life and no one wants to be near your rotted corpse of memories and decaying attitude. Be the funeral director of your life and bury that thing!"_  
 **― Shannon L. Alder**

* * *

"Michonne, what sense does it make to give Rick your phone number to just block him from calling you? He says you have him blocked."

"Sasha! I don't want to talk to him. He had a window of opportunity. Poof, it's gone."

"Was he aware of that?" I asked trying to understand Michonne.

"I don't care."

"Are you back on your pills?"

"Why are you asking me that Sasha?"

"Because you are a very controlled weird. Stilted. I guess that you are back on your pills."

"If I didn't take something I would be a jumbled mess of thoughts. I need to focus. I have to focus on getting over him and everything about him."

"So you are focused on not resolving things with Rick?"

"Where is this coming from?" Michonne could pick up on very subtle nuances that it was startling sometimes.

"Rick's here." I was honest with her. Michonne was silent on the other end as I disclosed that information to her. I waited for the information to settle in her brain. "He's here, and I am about to give him this phone, Michonne."

"Don't, or I will hang up." Michonne threatened.

"What do you expect Daryl to do? What do you expect Daryl to say to Rick who wants to reconnect with you Michonne?"

"I am hanging up now."

Michonne hung up like she warns people. She doesn't just hang up and be done with it; instead, she calls back within minutes, just like Rick predicted. It was still unresolved for Michonne. I handed the phone to Rick who answered. I went into the other room where Daryl was downing his third beer.

"Hey, lady don't take my beer from me."

"You trying to get a beer belly, Daryl?"

"I am trying to numb my mind on this bullshit being spread my way. Got a call from Shane that he had to knock Rick the fuck out for ramming his truck in the back of his Mustang a week ago."

"Is that how Rick got that bruised jaw?" I was entirely surprised by this detail.

"Yep. Rick says it was an accident. Shane says Rick is pissed about him dating Lori."

"What the hell?" Nothing that Daryl was telling me made sense. No sense. "How do you crash into you ex-wife boyfriend's car and it not be on purpose?"

"The shit if I know. He says he was distracted. Shane came out, and sucker punched him."

"Shane is such an asshole. Can't stand his ass. I have no idea why you are friends with him. Wish you weren't friends with him."

"You want to dictate who I am friends with now?"

"I just hope you make a better decision and soon."

"My Baby's feathers are ruffled now."

"They will be more than ruffled if you don't cut him loose soon. I worry that the type of friends we have is a reflection on us and who we are. We need to be more selective Daryl."

"So you prepared to cut Michonne loose?"

"What the hell, Daryl?"

"She was cheating on her husband, Rick was cheating on his wife. You should no longer be friends with Michonne, and I need to cut Rick off."

"I am warning you now, I am going to be pissed off with you if we continue this conversation and you play like you don't understand what I am saying to you. Shane is supposed to be Rick's good friend. Why the hell would it ever be okay to fuck Rick's wife? That is a friend you don't need. A friend that see nothing wrong with that is not a fucking friend but a cohort. If you don't see the issue with that, then you and Shane deserve each other. Michonne and Rick ain't the same."

Rick came in the kitchen oblivious, and Daryl snatched his beer from me and took a long swig. Rick was running his fingers through his hair. He was apparently on level 8 of frustrated. His bruised jaw on full display, now with a backstory.

"Oh my fucking God! That woman is going to have me burst a blood vessel. Michonne says she is in King's County but won't tell me exactly where. She says she is blocking your number now too, Sasha."

"She will unblock me, and I will give her a good cussing out."

"I hope Sasha doesn't ever put me through the shit you had to endure with Michonne. Damn man."

"I have no idea where Michonne would be if she's here Rick. I am sorry." Rick handed me my phone, and I rubbed his forearm.

Rick remained wistful.

"I have seven days. I have no idea if she is counting now or not."


	17. Cheaters

_"It may...be judged indecent in me to come forward on this occasion; but when I see a fellow-creature about to perish through the cowardice of her pretended friends, I wish to be allowed to speak, that I may say what I know of her character."  
_ **― Mary Shelley, Frankenstein**

* * *

"Do you still have Agoraphobia, Bigmama?"

My Dad had asked me to pursue the topic to see if Bigmama was still in denial. She was, but I offered a solution anyway sitting at her kitchen table.

"There are pills, Bigmama, that can help you with your anxiety."

"I ain't trying to take no damn pills at my age. I go out on my porch now. That is far enough."

"Really?" I was amazed by the news.

"Ask Tyrese if you think I am lying. Ask them crazy white folks across the street. Yes, Ma'am. Got a circus across the street that keeps me entertained. Had to have Tyrese carry the ex-husband into the house. Some man, the ex-wife, had to stay over there knocked the ex-husband out when he ran into the man's car. I said ain't this some shit. Neighborhood ain't been the same since those folks moved across the street. I say they bring our home values down with the cops being called over there 3 times in one month. I realized that the cop was the ex-husband strutting his bowlegged self to pull some woman off his ex-wife. Fighting in the middle of the lawn. Pulling hair ain't no kind of fight. The ex-wife doesn't care that the kids come over here and stay awhile. I have Tyrese sees them back over. Cute kids. One is about 11 or so, and the other is 4 and talk like a grown woman trapped in a child's body, I say."

"Why would you even get Tyrese involved. Carrying an ex-husband into the wife's house?"

"Ex-wife. Because I thought the ex-husband and the ex-wife could find a way to cut through their mess. They got two nervous kids. Kids need to be factored in there somewhere. I am quite sure they can find Peace through Chaos. But NO. He be damned. He struts his bowlegged self over here asking for his children that day too. I saw nothing but crazy in his eyes, blue kind of crazy."

"You never liked blue eyes Bigmama, and you have always been a softy for kids."

"Because I really believe the devil has blue eyes. Makes my spirit jump. As for the kids, don't know why you don't have any. Pretty soon you will be too old to birth or raise them if you don't start now."

"He says I don't get crazy from his side. He said it had to come from your..."

"You tell that rolling stone wherever he lays his hat was his home, that it is his fault you taking all those pills that you do. That no good black buzzard. Because of your Daddy, your brother Heath is the way he is. Your Daddy and your brother kept the house unbalanced. Heath stealing things from the home to do drugs. If your Daddy wasn't so busy trying to find someone to lay up with he could had spent that time to raise his boys to be men. Only got you that did right and Lord knows, Tyrese _trying_ to do right. You and your mama couldn't rest when a house is in chaos. That is why your Mama went on to meet her maker. A broken heart is deadly, I tell you. Another thing I will say for sure, once a cheat, always a cheat. Now go and tell your Daddy I said that!"

"You will need to tell him yourself, Bigmama."

"We can now change the subject because you know good and well, I ain't going to string two words his way."

My Bigmama had this particular way of getting across her opinion even though she wasn't referring to me. She was talking about my dad who is a retired medical doctor. My big mistake was to make him our topic.

Oddly, my Daddy never called it cheating. For him, they were great romances. I would never tell my Bigmama that because it would just get her blood pressure higher than it needed to be.

I, on the other hand, don't consider myself a cheater. What happened was I fell in love with someone. I did not go out of my way to deceive Mike since his only focus was to become the next future Admiral of the US Navy.

I knew it was my way of rationalizing my actions, and when the thoughts became too much, the guilt, I took more pills.

I never had to lie to Mike to be with Rick. He never confronted or asked about my whereabouts as long as I showed an interest in attending military functions standing by his side dressed to impress. I just had to be ready at the drop of a hat to fake smile and have sex whenever Mike was in the mood. The stress from the ship put a damper on how often we were intimate with one another. I still kept up with the infrequent sex with my husband, all the while I couldn't help imagining Rick.

Eventually, I began to get annoyed with how Mike said things. He was abrupt and cold. Mike would carry over the Officer antics into our home. Sometimes I had to bring it to his attention when he would come in the house and randomly swipe his index finger checking for dust. There wasn't any dust. I cleaned. I cleaned until I had to be medicated to slow the obsession I had for order. Still, I dusted.

"You going to tell me what happened to you and Mike?"

My Bigmama went directly to the subject she wanted to talk about. There were two things that made my Bigmama proud and it was the day I finished college and the day I married a military man. An officer of the United States Military.

"No."

"You will or if you talk long enough I will put two and two together. One thing I ain't going to do is bug you about it. Anyway, how long you planning on staying with me?"

One thing I didn't like to do was disappoint my Bigmama when she sounded hopeful for my company to remain indefinitely.

"I really didn't know you had Tyrese living here too."

"What your brother Tyrese got to do with anything?"

"I thought you were lonely Bigmama. You have company. You have Tyrese."

"Tyrese works full time, goes to school full time, and sleeps the rest of the time. I have no company. You will keep me company."

* * *

Rick sat on the middle of the hotel bed Indian style while a Japanese televised game show was playing quietly in the background. I climbed into bed to get next to him. I was dressed in the sexiest get up that he could ever imagine on a woman and Rick immediately wanted to put his Bento aside to begin feasting on me instead.

"Rick, you are going to get rice everywhere."

I couldn't help but laugh as he tried to quickly move his meal to the nightstand, pulling me to him at the same time.

"How is it you know how to keep me so revved up and ready to go?"

I was straddling him. He was still seated with his legs stretched out and his back against the headboard.

"I have condoms for you this time because I am off my birth control. I have stopped taking all my pills, and I have an appointment for tomorrow afternoon to discuss alternative methods with my doctor. Until then-condoms."

"Okay. It's fine with me Michonne."

"The last thing we need is an unexpected pregnancy."

"Do you like kids, Michonne?"

"I knew there was something you wanted to talk about." Earlier that day he seemed pensive, providing no explanation as to why when I had asked him on the train to Tokyo.

"Well, you never ask me about my kids."

"Why would I do that Rick?"

"Why would you not?"

"What is _this_ that we are doing?" I searched his eyes for answers and it matched what I felt.

"We've been at whatever _this_ is for months now. Pretty steady the last three. You haven't asked me anything about my family. Aren't you curious?"

"Well, I know you have two kids. I know their names are Carl and Judith. Judith should be almost three?"

"She's three," Rick confirmed.

"Carl is?"

"9."

"You really want to talk about them?"

"I am finding it hard to not want to share things with you, Michonne. I want to share but you ain't asking, and maybe I need some clarity too, on what we are doing with each other?"

"I like your company."

"I like yours too."

"I like the way I feel when I am around you."

"I _like_ you, Michonne."

"I _like_ you, Rick." I had stated back to him. I was slightly confused by how the word _like_ didn't really fit what we had for each other right then and there.

"I really, really, really _like_ you Michonne."

"Please, don't do that to me. You know it makes me crazy. Really, Really, Really-what kind of liking is that, Rick?"

"The kind where I find myself thinking about you when I should be thinking about other things. The kind where my day is only as bright as the smile you give me when I see you. Your smile carries me over until I am able to see you again. If I had the power to stop time, I would right now. Holding you like this where I am not letting you go, and you aren't trying to leave, and vice versa is all I want."

"Sounds like you have fallen in love."

"I have."

There was a long pause between us. My heart was racing. Things I haven't factored in my brain was quickly factoring. I had to rearrange all my thoughts. I didn't realize until after the fact that I had blurted out an answer to his original question. I didn't mean to add as much as I did, but it was too late. I saw a future with him.

"I like kids, Rick. I think I would want two kids. Your two plus two more?"

Rick held my chin, "What are you saying, Michonne?"

"I've fallen in love with you too."

We didn't talk for the rest of the night. We made some serious love, and during the times we had to stop and pull the condom on or off solidified our purposefulness. We knew what we were doing, it translated beyond sex as I climaxed with him and many times without him.

* * *

A/N: Corrections made 04/06/2019 10:07am


	18. Found

_"We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep."  
_ **― William James**

* * *

I have been so fed up with Lori to the point I couldn't see straight. The thought of my kids over at someone's house that doesn't wave was mind-boggling to me.

Lori has this ability to leave me speechless.

I went and got my kids from the old black lady that seemed to have the look of judgment. We were having a staring contest through her screen door. I was the one to look away first before she would call the kids to come to the door. I could tell they were obviously enjoying themselves unphased by what had happened across the street between their Uncle Shane and me.

"You think you going to bring your devilment here you better think again."

"Are you threatening me, Ma'am?"

"You may be an officer of the law but I am highly favored and part of the anointed in the B.I.B.L.E. I am rebuking you in the name of Jesus."

I thought Lori could leave me speechless, but this little lady was on top of the list.

I scolded my kids from going over there. I wanted them to cease, and I didn't care how sweet Ms. Mabel was to them, they were forbidden to step foot over there.

A few hours later I was able to calm down when I got the kids settled at my house. They were in bed, and I was showered in my pajamas alone in my bed staring at the missed calls from a block number when I realized there was a number. It was Michonne's number.

She unblocked her number. She was agitated based on her immediate response when she answered on the first ring.

"Hours later Rick?"

"Hey."

"Hey yourself."

"I had a day."

"You sound like it. Do you want to talk about it?"

I was surprised and relieved by Michonne's offer.

"Not right now. I just want to turn my brain off. How about you Michonne? How was your day?"

"Well, I called you quite a few times. I began to worry, and now I know you are somewhere with your brain turned off, I am hanging up."

"Michonne, please don't! Don't hang up. Please talk to me. I miss the hell out of you."

The silence on the other end was unbearable.

"I need a do-over with you Michonne. This time I promise on everything that I won't fuck up. Honestly, for the life of me, I don't understand how you don't remember when we discussed what was to happen in Japan. I mean, I am sorry it didn't go the way in the end, it should have gone. I am sorry, Michonne."

"I have to hang up from you, and it's because I don't want to talk any more. I am glad you are ok. I am glad nothing happened to you or your kids. I really was worried."

{Click}

I tried dialing back, but I was blocked. There wasn't going to be any rest to be had in my mind until I had Michonne back in my sight, in my bed, in my life.

* * *

Two days later when I didn't have the kids to worry about, Sasha happened to be on the phone with Michonne while I was over at their home.

"Michonne what sense does it make to give Rick your phone number to just block him from calling you? He says you have him blocked. Was he aware of that? Are you back on your pills? Because you are a very controlled weird. My guess you are back on your pills. So you are focused on not resolving things with Rick? Rick's here."

When Sasha handed over her phone, I quickly took it, appreciating being left alone to speak to Michonne.

"Hey."

"I called to speak to Sasha. Not to you Rick."

"If I only knew your exact location right now."

"I am in Kings County. I arrived yesterday."

"You are in King's County?"

"I am. The population is so varied and mixed you wouldn't know where to look for me. I've calculated the odds are against you. 00.01% chance. The likelihood is like a needle in a haystack odds."

"If I find you Michonne you are coming home with me. You are coming to my house the moment I set eyes on you."

"You will not find me Rick, and if by some strange luck it was possible, I would go home with you. I will allow you to take me to your house the moment you set eyes on me and me on you. I won't fight, I won't."

"Promise me Michonne."

I was so desperate to hear her agree to the terms.

"Sasha doesn't know where I am. Useless to ask her."

"Promise me Michonne."

"I don't break promises, Rick."

"Then promise me."

"I will be in King's County for a week. You have seven days to find me and...I promise. I have to hang up now. Tell Sasha I have officially blocked her number."

* * *

Lori was fighting every other day a new woman or the same woman. Lots and lots of hair pulling. She was either fighting at the Honky Tonk Tavern, or she was brawling in front of her home. Root cause, Shane. Never in a million years would I have guessed this to be the life for Lori and I. Chaos. If Lori wasn't fighting one of Shane's flings, she and I were hurling unkind words at each other.

As usual, Shane was nowhere to be found when these confrontations happened. Lori would call me due to the harassment from other women. I was her on call bodyguard for awhile keeping her mostly from getting arrested or becoming a spectacle. Helping Lori was no longer my responsibility.

It was my day off. The same day Lori was arrested for slashing tires.

I was trying to find Michonne, and I was lowkey waiting for Shane during our after hours. He was visible to me during work hours but was ghost any other time. I had an itch that wasn't going to be satisfied until I knocked him the fuck out.

This time, Jessie Anderson, the same woman I was set up on a blind date some months back, was hellbent to press charges. Jessie had pictures to prove it was Lori who had caused the damages. Lori was behind bars, and I was on the hunt for Michonne with no idea of Shane's exact location.

I answered my cell on the second ring.

"Yeah, Rick. It's me, Daryl."

"What's up?"

"Lori has been arrested. She called Sasha to see if we could bail her out."

"What? Where are the kids?"

"Your kids are with a Ms. Mabel. They know to go over there."

"I am not at work today. I am not in my cruiser. Damnit. I have to get my kids. Let Shane bail her out."

"Roger that. Sasha wasn't keen on getting involved in the first place. She says she is Michonne's friend, not Lori's."

Shit.

I had to shift my focus to my kids who were over at home I didn't approve of. Besides, I wasn't getting anywhere with my day one search for Michonne.

I began to feel an overwhelming level of anxiety. If this was what Michonne was experiencing as she once described it to me, I understood the need for medication.

I had parked my truck and got out crossing Mabel's lawn. I went up to her front porch where I could hear my kids inside introducing themselves.

"My name is Carl."

"My name is Jude."

"Carl and Jude, who do you two belong to? Who's your Daddy?"

I recognized that voice from anywhere. I was looking into the screen door when I surprised Michonne. Within seconds my view was blocked by Ms. Fucking Mabel.

* * *

A/N: 04/6/2019 Corrections made 11:42am


	19. Anxiety Pills

_"Relationships are all about trust and equality. If one person shares, then the other person should share, too."_  
 **― Sophie Kinsella , Can You Keep a Secret?**

* * *

It was happening. I never had it happen in front of Rick or my Bigmama. I had two kids looking at me, and I couldn't control it. I began to hyperventilate. I started to cry. I couldn't stop pacing. My body ran completely cold. I was losing control, and it was happening. I had a full blown panic attack.

Those blue eyes from the son had me curious, the little girl was chatty enough. I just came out of the bedroom to find the kids that I had never met in my Big mama's house. A simple introduction and it was like it summoned Rick to appear out of the blue. He had found me.

All I remembered was his agitated voice and my Bigmama's.

I had passed out.

I didn't know where I was going to fall or that I had collapsed in a heap right there on the floor.

"Where am I?" I had asked when I finally woke.

"With me Michonne."

"Whose bed am I in?"

"Mine, Michonne."

I expected another wave of Pandemonium to surface, but it never came as I looked around the master bedroom that was tidy with older furnishings that may have seen better days. Tidy. Clean. Baseboards with no dust. Opened envelopes on the dresser. Needed to be removed. Thrown away if it wasn't important. A glass dish that had no rhyme or reason, empty. Tidy enough. I had to tell my brain to relax, but I still had that feeling, an almost compulsion to check for dust and how clean the bathroom was...I needed my pills.

I was scared to look at Rick as he sat next to me on the bed. His back against the headboard as he read a book on Meditation For Dummies. Rick had on black socks and jeans. I couldn't look any further as I sat up in bed with my back to the headboard. Next to him.

"I am not looking at you Michonne. I am waiting for you to look at me or get it settled in your mind that you made me a promise. You made a promise. You keep promises."

"How did I get here? Surely not by my own free will."

"It would have been and if not, then I would say I have a problem."

"How did I get here Rick?"

"I carried you out of your GOD damn Crazy Mabel...Big fucking Mama's house and when you take a look at me when you are ready you will see she clocked me real good on the side of my face with a fucking broomstick. She called the cops on me Michonne accusing me of kidnapping you. I carried you out of _her_ house and put you in _my_ car. My kids got in the backseat, and I made sure you and my kids were strapped in. You are home with me. I won't have it no other fucking way, Michonne."

I could sense he was pissed off and highly frustrated.

"Rick what are you telling me?"

"I am telling you that detective Abe and Aaron will be in here to verify your version of events. If I indeed kidnapped you, I will be arrested and hauled out of here. They will need to know you would have come here on your own free will. Sasha and Daryl are in the other room just in case you want to seek revenge for the choice I made while at the Koban in Japan. Daryl and Sasha will take care of my kids if you decide I should be behind bars."

"Where's Lori?"

"Still in jail."

I didn't know how to process what Rick was telling me because I was overwhelmed with thoughts of being in his room with him and I could smell that his bed sheets were freshly laundered. I wanted to experience the relief separate from everything else. I still couldn't look at him. Just the book he had in his hands.

"What are you reading Rick?"

"Meditation For Dummies."

"Has it worked?"

"No, it hasn't. Not at all."

I needed my pills at first until he spoke.

"I love you Michonne. Still. Regardless of this outcome I know I will always love you."

Rick closed the book and placed it on the nightstand that was beside him as he swung his legs off the bed after hearing a brief tap at the partially closed door to the bedroom.

Abe and Eugene came into the bedroom. I knew they were helping Rick buy time since he was part of their brotherhood and it was what they did for each other. You scratch my back I will scratch yours. Not unheard of and really expected.

They had asked me questions once Rick had left the bedroom. I answered them even though I didn't want too. I felt compelled to have an attitude and be difficult. I again needed my pills.

Sasha was in tears and immediately hugged me. I needed to be embraced more than anything by my dear friend, and I promised to unblock her number so she could cuss me out.

Daryl was standing outside with Rick who expected to be hauled away in handcuffs. Daryl had a look of relief. Rick was visibly relieved he wasn't going to be arrested. He didn't kidnap me. He was helping me cope. I believed in what I was saying, and I told the detectives just that without sounding completely nuts.

I didn't want Sasha and Daryl to leave, but they eventually did, and I was left alone with Rick, in his house with his kids looking at me in amazement that I hadn't died. They thought I was dead.

"Are you a Zombie?" Carl asked me.

"Only when I take my pills." It was my only response, and I avoided whatever look Rick would have given me for answering the way I did.

"Do you like being a Zombie?" Carl asked me another question that made me realize I shouldn't be on pills.

"No. I do not. That is why I don't have my pills with me even though I need my pills." I had no idea how to respond to this child that was asking me all these questions. He had the same look of relief that his father had when he realized he wasn't being arrested. I wasn't a zombie.

"I think you should flush those zombie pills down the toilet if you don't like being a zombie."

"Are you going to live here?" The little girl that liked to go by the name Jude asked me.

"I don't think-"

"Yes. Michonne will be living here with us. So, if Michonne tells you to do anything you are going to do what?" Rick asked.

"Do it." The two said in unison.

"Michonne is not mean, she is fair." Rick eyed me when he made that statement, and I was mesmerized by the welt he had on the side of his face from the broomstick handle. The lump distracted me from his very blue eyes.

"You will behave around her like you would if she wasn't around. Michonne means a lot to me, and hopefully, she will mean the same to you."

"Yes, sir," Carl said.

"Yes, sir." Jude mimicked.

I spent time watching the kids evening routine. They were quiet, and I was quiet.

They all shared a bathroom that was clean but not my level of clean. I waited until they were being tucked in bed by Rick before I slinked off and found the cleaning supplies and began scrubbing until everything was satisfactory. Clean towels. Toothbrushes actually in the holders. Toothpaste stains washed away. Bleached everything. Floors. Toilet. I had to do Laundry. Bathroom rugs had to be washed, and the dirty clothes pile was overflowing. Laundry and then organize the laundry by size, color, and type.

I wasn't going to rest because I didn't have my pills. I wasn't taking them regularly in the first place, but I needed to be back on them. I felt the pressure of being overwhelmed. I needed my pills, and I felt my palpitations, so I kept cleaning.

I ended up in the kitchen that was tidy. Didn't need much but the contents in the cabinets needed to be organized and the refrigerator contents required dates checked. Visual check of dates. It had to be done.

"Michonne. Stop. Breathe. I need you to stop and breathe."

"I don't need things you learned in the meditation book, Rick. I need to know the dates on these cans of Chef Boyardee?!"

"Shhh. Stop Michonne and Breathe. We can do all this in the morning. I will help you do all this in the morning. Besides, all dates are current or within range. Nothing has expired. When you check in the morning, and I am wrong, you don't have to trust me because I would have proven to you that I was wrong and dates need to be checked. We will do this in the morning together. We can mop, sweep and whatever else you want to do. I took a total of seven days off. Vacation. I needed those seven days to find you, and I struck gold within the first twenty-four hours. Can you do that? Stop and Breathe? Not for me but for yourself, Michonne. Stop and breathe."

"I have nothing to put on for bedtime Rick, and I need a toothbrush. I need a certain type of toothpaste. All my clothes are in storage, and I have two suitcases at my Bigmama's."

"I have a pair of pajama pants with a drawstring and top if you want. You are going to have to call someone to bring your stuff to you or I can take you to pick it up in the morning it's up to you."

"My Bigmama will most likely kill you where ever you stood knowing you weren't arrested from carrying me out of her house. You can't go back there. She would do it or try to get Tyrese to strangle you. I will call Tyrese to bring my things."

"So you are staying Michonne? Is that what I am hearing?"

"I want to cope, Rick. If you are helping me cope, then I am staying for as long as I can cope."

I followed Rick back into the master bedroom, and he handed me his spare pajamas and a un-opened packaged toothbrush that was Medium level. Not soft. Not hard. Just perfect.

"I am going to take a shower. Where will I be sleeping, Rick?"

"With me Michonne and don't worry I won't touch you. I will wait for you to touch me. I will wait for you to want me in that kind of way again."


	20. My Michonne

_"There used to be days that I thought I was okay, or at least that I was going to be. We'd be hanging out somewhere and everything would just fit right and I would think 'it will be okay if it can just be like this forever' but of course nothing can ever stay just how it is forever."_  
 **― Nina LaCour, Hold Still**

* * *

Mabel had the eyes of a determined Witch trying to cast some type of spell. If I had my gun, I probably would have a fucking shot Ms. Mabel where she stood with her broom between Michonne and me. A bullet probably wouldn't affect her none. I would have most likely been in need of my Colt.

My eyes couldn't see anything, but I could hear Michonne panicking in the background and then a loud thud.

"She's dead, Jude. Look at her!" Carl said excitedly.

"Zombie! Zombie! Zombie!" Judith chanted with so much enthusiasm that it was disturbing that a child her age had no innate fear of the dead rising.

I reached for the door handle. "Michonne? Michonne?!" I was trying to find visibility over Ms. Crazy Mabel shoulders.

"What my grandbaby do you? You can't just come in here. You got two kids. Michonne ain't got nothing to do with nothing."

"Carl and Jude, what's going on?" I act as if I could not hear Ms. Mabel.

"She's probably turning into a Zombie Dad. We are watching for her to change. We are waiting. Nothing has happened yet!"

Carl's voice was somewhere close but coming from behind the angriest old woman standing in front of me with the screen door separating us.

"How do you know my Grandbaby?" Ms. Mabel was insistent.

"I met Michonne in Japan. Now could you please open the screen door so I can see about her?"

"No, sir. You can't come up in here. You need to step all the way back to the curb where you came from, and I will have the kids come out to you but not my Grandbaby. No sir. I don't know who you is to her. I don't know with those blue eyes. Go on now. Let go of my screen door before I throw some holy oil all over you. It is anointed oil, and you WILL move back."

"Do you realize she is passed out cold behind you or is that some ain't no never mind?"

"The devil was predicted to come to my door pretending to know things. You did not know my Grandbaby from no Japan. I am going to ask you one more time, how do you know my Michonne?"

"Ma'am I am an officer of the law. I will rip your fucking screen door off the hinge if you don't freely open it. Michonne needs me, and she needs tending too."

This witch really thought I was the blue-eyed fucking devil! I had no idea right off how to sway witches, and I had no Bible knowledge to convince her otherwise. I was beyond pissed off.

"The hell you will..."

That was all that it took. I literally tore the aluminum made screen door from it's locking mechanism and came inside. Bam the broom handle across my back. It did not deter me from Michonne.

My kids were standing around Michonne in awe. Entirely awestruck waiting for Michonne to turn into a Zombie. I was going to have some words with Lori regarding the types of movies she was even allowing Judith to be privy too. I also didn't like that my kids were immune to acts of violence that were happening around them. I didn't like it one bit.

 _My Michonne._

I checked her pulse and she was not dead. She didn't seem to strike her head on anything. As usual, she was very well dressed for the time of day even when she was casual. My Michonne. I scooped her up into my arms. I was taking her home and that second good swing from the broom wore the old lady out. It got me on the side of the face good. I saw a star, but the rest felt like love taps as she tried to be careful of my kids and Michonne who felt like a ragdoll in my arms.

Mabel only stopped until I was on the porch step. She went silent. I half expected her to say more, but the rage left her voice and the threats of calling the police ceased.

She calmly asked me to put her Granddaughter Michonne back in the house on the floor where I had found her.

I calmly responded back to Ms. Mabel.

"I will have someone come and see about replacing your screen, first thing in the morning. Anything else, do what you need to do. I will not go another second without Michonne. I am taking her home. She promised she would come home with me if I found her. I found her."

"Why would Michonne promise you that?"

"Because she never stopped loving me."

* * *

My mind was in a million places at once, but my center was Michonne. I placed her on my bed. I did quick work on taking her slippers off. I could only imagine what she would be like waking up with something that just had authority to be on the floor and not in the bed with her.

She was absolutely beautiful to look at. Crazy beautiful. I didn't have much time to just stare at her because I got a call from Detective Abe Longwood. I was on a timer. I hung up the phone and called Daryl who had me on speaker.

"No. I got to put this shit in Sasha's ears too. No way I can relay what you are trying to say to me to her. Damn man."

"What's going on Rick?" Sasha asked.

"I may be arrested," I said plainly.

"Why? What happened? What shit Lori got you into?" Sasha asked.

"Not Lori. Michonne." I responded.

"What happened? Michonne okay?" Sasha's voice was full of concern.

"I found her by accident, and I broke a door of her relative's home, Ms. Mabel, that lives across the street from Lori no less. The fucking odds! My kids were staying over there, and I had no idea that was..."

"Wow," Daryl said.

"You went to go get your kids and..." Sasha was trying to make quick sense of things.

"I saw Michonne through the screen talking to my kids, and she had a-"

"Panic attack. Oh my God, Rick. Is she okay?" Sasha knew precisely the results of anything that Michonne was ill-prepared for when she wasn't on her pills.

"She is still out. I brought her to my home. She promised that if I found her, she would come home with me. She promised."

"Rick, do you realize you shocked the Fuck out of her?" Sasha questioned what I knew had happened. More rhetorical than anything.

"Wow." Daryl's repeated response to what was unfolding.

"The detectives will be here in a matter of minutes. I need you and Daryl to possibly take care of Carl and Judith if I am arrested for kidnapping and destruction of property. If it is too much to ask, can you at least get my kids over to my parents on 325 Johnson St?"

"Oh my God, Rick. Keep Michonne calm when she comes too. I have no idea if she will use the Koban Station experience or if she is over it. But, of course, Daryl and I can help where ever you need us."

"Sasha sounds like Rick needs us to get a move on over to his place if he may be hauled to the station." Daryl said to Sasha and then to me, "We should be there in a couple of minutes, Rick."

I was slightly relieved that I could count on Daryl and Sasha. I could have called my parents, but there would have been too much to explain. Too many questions and having to make what was crazy into logical sense. Impossible to do. Not in the short time I had. Plus the idea that both Lori and I could be behind bars at the same damn time...

Unimaginable could be imagined. I was feeling sick at that thought so I climbed on what would be my side of the bed and pulled out my book on meditation for beginners and waited for Michonne to awaken. _Stop...Breathe..._

"Where am I?"

"With me Michonne."

She was with me finally. My heart was pounding in my chest. If I could tell her everything I would, but I didn't want to overwhelm her with a bunch of words that she would need to sift through. Sift through she would. Michonne was very good at getting to the meaning that could have been said plainly. I hope she didn't get agitated at what I would need to plainly imply.

"Whose bed am I in?"

"Mine, Michonne."

The bed she should have always been in from the beginning if I had only known that I needed to wait a little longer to have one day met her. Mine. In so many ways, mine. I will wait for her to agree to the change from mine to ours. I could wait.

* * *

"I have no idea how Michonne will respond to their questioning."

"I have no idea either. Sasha is worried about it too. She was supposed to give me some hand signals from the living room window. Either way, it will work out in the end. It always does." Daryl tried to reassure me as we stood outside my home while Michonne was being questioned on whether or not she was kidnapped.

"Shit."

Dread has to be one of the worse feelings to experience, and I felt like I was experiencing it alone.

"How much damage you caused at the relative's house?" Daryl asked.

"Screen door."

Yes. The screen door to the witch who stood on the other side.

"That shouldn't cost much. You want me to go over and take care of it? Sasha doesn't want me doing anything with a gun that has to be pointed at other people with a gun. So I was going to get a handyman service started up now that I have a pickup truck. Sasha plans to still do the restaurant thing."

"My wallet is in the house. I have cash. I will hopefully be allowed back in my home to get my wallet to pay you. Thanks, Daryl."

I successfully kept my knees from buckling from under me when Abe and Eugene left the house giving me a thumbs up. Daryl seemed equally relieved.

* * *

We both lay on our sides facing each other. I was glad when I was able to breathe normally. We were both sharing nervous energy. With my eyes, I took in every contour of Michonne's face and neck that was exposed to me. The silence between us was agreed upon because neither one of us chose to share any words at that moment. I am not sure how much time crept past us, but it was a very comfortable peace we were in agreement with, without saying or doing a thing.

There was at least space for a small child like Judith to come and lie between us. Judith didn't come that night but if she had that was how much space between Michonne and I as we rested there, staring at each other. Whatever I desired from Michonne could wait until she was sure, until she was ready.

I am not sure when Michonne and I fell asleep that night. I know it was after I put my hands on top of her and she didn't move it away.

The sun was out, and it crept through the blinds replacing the moonlight with a vengeance by the time I had awoke startled to be in bed without Michonne. I found her in the kitchen with Carl and Jude. She had the kitchen organized and coffee brewing.

"Do you think Zombies-real zombies would eat cereal?" Carl asked Michonne as he put another spoonful in his mouth with milk dripping from his bottom lip.

"Well, from my Zombie experience, cereal is a preferred breakfast staple."

"What's your favorite?" Carl asked Michonne.

"This box here...Captain Crunch. I love that it has so much undesirable sweetness that we need to finish this whole box soon because it will be stale before it is expired and as long as I am around we will never have another box with no real nutritional value ever come in this house again."

"No more Captain Crunch after this?" Carl had a look of disappointment.

"No. We need to also finish up this whole milk nonsense quickly too because it will expire by tomorrow. We will try possibly almond milk when I can get a change of clothes sent over here."

"Never had almond milk before."

"I want to taste almond milk." Jude was excited over the idea of tasting something new.

"Soy milk is good too." Michonne looked to Jude.

"No...Soy milk is disgusting." Carl stuck out his tongue.

All three were sitting at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal placed on top of a paper towel as a placemat for each of them.

"Morning."

"Hi, Daddy!" Jude squealed.

"Morning Dad!"

I ruffled Carl's hair and kissed Judith on the cheek. I paused at Michonne who was tense and then she softened.

"We need placemats. You don't have placemats," said my random Michonne.

"Placemats, Michonne?"

"Good Morning, Rick." Michonne conceded quickly.

I couldn't help myself. I didn't hesitate to turn her chin upward towards me and I leaned down and kissed her full on the lips. Nothing obscene but with all intents and purposes, relaying to her she was mine, and we are together.

"Good Morning, Michonne."

Michonne was embarrassed, and the kids were delighted. I peered into her bowl that she was eating from with a spoon. She had no milk. I gave her a quizzical look as I made way to the coffee pot.

"I can't tolerate whole milk," Michonne commented.

"I didn't say a word, Michonne." My back was to Michonne as I poured myself a cup of coffee with a smile I had to keep hidden from view. I hadn't smiled in a long time and I was cautious about it.

"Your kids helped me check dates. It was as you said. Current or within plenty enough time."

 _My Michonne._

* * *

Original Author's Note:  
A/N:  
Sometimes I marvel at where I take a story that I have to stop for a second. I hope you are experiencing what I am in this moment...More to come.


	21. Dirt Isn't Imaginary

_"God, how we get our fingers in each other's clay. That's friendship, each playing the potter to see what shapes we can make of each other."_  
 **― Ray Bradbury, Something Wicked This Way Comes**

* * *

"Michonne?"

Tyrese was stunned to find me standing in the driveway anticipating his arrival, in such disarray. The black socks on my feet were a dead giveaway.

"Tyrese! I need my suitcases."

"Bigmama wants to know what in the hell you're doing with this white man? How do you know him, Michonne?"

I wasn't expecting a verbal confrontation from my brother Tyrese who could easily be overheard with me standing on the driver side of his black Dodge Charger. He was pissed.

My response was centering around two suitcases and my purse. Nothing else really mattered in my mind while Tyrese continued.

"I have no idea how many cards shy you are from playing with a full deck, Michonne. I am your brother. What's going on?"

"I'm coping," I replied quietly. The sensation of my skin crawling had to be placed in the back of my mind. I was so itchy.

"How do you know him?" Tyrese asked.

"Doesn't matter," I replied shrugging my shoulders.

"How long have you known him?" Tyrese was persistent.

"Doesn't matter," I repeated.

"2 months?"

"No," I stated.

"6 months?"

"No."

"More than 6 but less than 12?"

"No."

"You were fucking around with a married man while you were married Michonne?" Tyrese quickly deduced.

"Please don't tell Bigmama."

"What the hell..."

"Please don't tell Bigmama." I pleaded.

The silence from my brother increased my already racing heart for just a millisecond before it began to pound relentlessly. Tyrese placed my thoughts from needing my suitcases to cope with how best to conceal details from Bigmama to remain in her good graces.

"He left his wife for you?" Tyrese asked.

"Yes," I admitted.

"You left Mike for him?"

"Yes."

"Was it in Japan you went Batshit crazy or back here in the States you've gone completely fucking nuts?"

My brother was trying to find clarity on whether this was a compulsive episode I was having or if I wasn't even lucid. Tyrese eyed me from his driver's side window and then back at Rick who was standing barefoot in the doorway giving Tyrese a steely stare.

Rick was watching our interaction while his kids were playing in the living room window fogging up the glass with their hot breath.

"Did you bring my suitcases or not?" I couldn't look at my brother in the eyes. I wasn't feeling well.

"If you were on the nutty ward on the fifth floor of Baptist General hospital...yes. But for you to move in to this home with this man, you got another thing coming. I should take off right now and leave you in the very clothes you have on. I can't wait to tell Bigmama this man-of all the men in the world, he got you outside in black socks."

"I know I have to get them off my feet. I couldn't come outside with nothing Tyrese. I need my suitcases, Tyrese. Please stop fucking with me."

"What are you doing Michonne?" Tyrese pressed for sound reasoning behind my actions.

"I am trying to cope. I don't have my pills, and you are getting me agitated, Ty."

My brother knew I meant business when I shortened his name. It wasn't the other way around when I said his full name.

"Do you even know how you look? How you are dressed right now?"

"That is why I called you to bring my suitcases, Ty. I can't wear PJs after 8:30am."

"Michonne it is after 12pm." I don't know why my brother thought to inform me of the time was going to help my situation. He was making it worse.

"I know! Now give me my GODDAMN suitcases before I really lose my mind. I am out here with fricking black socks and PJs after 8:30am, and I am really trying to not hyperventilate. Please give me my suitcases."

"In the trunk. I ain't getting out the car to help you with shit." Tyrese punched the dashboard.

I could hear the lock mechanism on the car trunk and immediately made my way to my lifeline.

"Oh my God." Relief washed over me as I struggled to pull each suitcase that had my highly organized crammed items that I would not be able to live without. If Tyrese had delayed another second, I would have died for sure.

"What the hell is he standing in the doorway for, looking over here?" Tyrese asked annoyed.

"Keep your voice down." I scolded dragging my suitcases with my purse on my shoulder.

"He better be glad he is a deputy sheriff because I would stomp his ass for getting Bigmama upset and tearing the screen door off. He better be glad." Tyrese spoke loud enough for Rick to hear.

"Leave, Tyrese."

"What the hell you want me to tell Bigmama?" My brother was completely stumped.

"Tell her I am trying to cope. I am trying to cope."

"You are nuttier than peanut butter."

Tyrese took off down the street.

Rick came out of the house to help me carry my bags inside of his home. I followed barely unable to take my eyes off the black socks I wore on my feet until I stood inside the small foyer where I had to remove them before proceeding any farther.

"You've come back?" Jude asked me jumping happily off of the couch to stand in front of me.

I didn't know how to respond to the obvious.

"We thought you were going to leave." Carl moved Judith aside.

"No. I am here."

"Dad wasn't sure if you were going to change your mind and just leave. We asked him if you were leaving, but he said he wasn't sure." Carl moved the hair from his eye to peer up at me with his father's shade of blues.

I blinked, and the next thing I was aware of was being at the grocery store with Rick and his children. I must have gone into a functioning Catatonic state at some point. Sometimes I would lose a sense of time and wonder how I got to places, like just then.

Rick was pushing the grocery cart while I found soap. Liquid soap. The antibacterial sweetly scented were on sale. I wanted them, and Rick purchased them all without hesitation along with almond milk and some inexpensive placemats.

I was startled when out of nowhere Rick kissed me again. This time I felt something until I heard the sound of his kids running towards us.

Carl carried the last bag containing soap from the trunk when he asked me a question.

"Why did you need to buy so much soap?" Carl asked me pausing in the garage.

I had closed the trunk after ensuring it was empty. I had two bags of my own that I was carrying. I stood in the garage not understanding what was so unusual about having 20 bottles of liquid soap.

"I take lots of showers. Baths too when I have a tub that I don't share with a shower."

"Don't they all come like that. Shower and tub together?"

"They don't. You have to request it sometimes when you have a new house, or you get it installed that way. Separate. I like taking showers."

"You take lots of showers because you don't know if you are dirty, I bet."

I froze in place wanting to understand this boy and what he was implying. I could appreciate his candor and was prepared to be very candid.

"Carl!"

Rick's tone was a warning to his son who wasn't phased. It didn't take rocket science to realize this family functioned best by speaking direct and in simple terms.

Rick had to keep an eye on Judith who was insistent on having a glass of almond milk, or she was going to die if not kill our eardrums with her excessive whining at an octave to wear anyone's patience.

"Why would I wait until I was dirty to take showers? I can't even imagine doing that."

I questioned the young boy that looked like a younger version of his father.

"Well, it's easy to tell when we are dirty."

"How is that?"

"We play outside. We only take showers then."

"You don't itch?" I asked in utter amazement at what I was hearing.

"Maybe if we miss three days straight. I suppose we would be itchy. Sometimes mom doesn't care unless we played in the dirt."

I dropped the bags of soap at my feet on the garage floor. I was utterly disturbed by the story Carl was revealing about their hygiene ritual.

I couldn't confirm any of it with Rick who was in the kitchen with Judith.

"Your skin color, you wouldn't know that you were dirty, so you take showers just in case?"

I said every word slowly to this boy named Carl. I wanted him to hear me clearly as I enunciated.

"I take showers because I am quite sure I would lose my mind if I don't. My sanity is based on cleanliness. I can't imagine being on the brink of madness."

Carl challenged, "I am quite sure you would survive. Judith and I have. We didn't go crazy while it was happening. You probably really don't know when you are dirty."

"I think two things are going on with what you are saying to me and as a child, I shouldn't expect you to clarify your meaning. I will settle the first."

I reached down and took some dirt from around the bottom of a bush nearest the garage and rubbed it on my skin.

"See the difference? That is dirty. I would never ever let myself get to that...until now."

I hesitated. I felt like I just gave myself a case of ringworms in that very spot.

"My skin does not match the color of dirt, and I would not allow it to blend into my skin to the point of not knowing the difference. Should I shower less, maybe so, but I don't want to wait until I am dirty to do so and neither should you."

"What if you were in a Zombie apocalypse and there wasn't any running water, and you were out on the road for days at a time, what would happen to you then?"

"I think I would go stark raving mad. I would have to give myself to the zombies."

"Coward move."

Carl proceeded into the house. I could see from where I stood that he kicked off his shoes and placed his bags with the others.

A few seconds later Rick had to come out into the garage to help me. The dirt on my skin had me frozen. I was going to have an episode, but Rick rescued me by scooping me up like a sack of potatoes over his shoulder, slipping off my shoes as we entered.

Rick instructed his son, Carl to finish putting things away while he took me into the bathroom closing the door behind us.

Rick slowly undressed me. My mind silenced. It took a mere few seconds for him to peel away my layers, creating a heap at my feet. His eyes roamed every inch of me, and for a moment I thought he was going to kiss me again, but instead, he fell to his knees and stayed there for a few seconds, the side of his face pressed into my pelvis.

I felt dizzy and the sound of Honeybees buzzed softly in the back of my mind. Rick's ability to make me feel as if everything would be alright was uncanny.

He has been the only one I had ever met who had accepted all of my flaws as they presented themselves during our time together.

Without any warning, Rick stood to his feet and turned the shower on for me. I stepped in, and he quickly stepped out of the bathroom to monitor his kids who were in the kitchen.

A/N: 02/10/2019 1:58pm Updated with corrections.

Original Author Notes:  
A/N: I am back on this! Thanks for the encouragement to continue to write. Greatly appreciated. Each and every one of you! Thank you!


	22. Mine

_"It is as easy to find a lover as to keep a friend, but as hard to find a friend as to keep a lover."_  
 **― Emma Frances Dawson, An Itinerant House, And Other Ghost Stories**

* * *

I watched her as she slept.

Michonne had requested the blinds to remain open to allow the moon's light to fill the room. I was able to see her features. Her closed eyelids, her nose, her full lips, her chin, the hidden places under her jaw that led to her neck the dips in her clavicle and the wisp of lace from her bra peeking through her pajama top. To be pressed against Michonne. To be closer still caused me to ache. Her hand was not free but hidden between her sides and the mattress beneath her. I wanted so badly to touch her, to get reacquainted in every way possible.

"Rick?!" Michonne squealed in surprise.

"Sumimasen."

I had embraced Michonne tightly. The feeling upon seeing her was undescrible, even now. I was desperate to finally have her in my arms after three weeks of not being able to get away with a sufficient enough excuse to provide to Lori once Michonne had arrived back to Japan.

My pronounciation of excuse me spoken in the few Japanese words I knew along with grabbing her, the woman I adored from behind, was the first of many public displays. I began to show total disregard.

"You know they are calling us those Americans." Michonne playfully slapped my shoulder.

At the time we were standing at the crosswalks of Roppongi in Tokyo when we eventually pulled away from our kiss.

She had finally returned back from stateside to see her Doctor and her brother. I did notice she was slightly stiff in her reactions or delayed through out our day together. I was worried she was going to break things off at some point throughout our time together. I began to over compensate. No matter how much I bended to accommodate I felt it wasn't enought. I didn't know how to prepare myself for what she may have been planning to tell me. I was relieved there wasn't anything back then.

* * *

A smile grew on her lips, softening her quizzical expression. I smiled back at her, confident I was worried for nothing.

Even though we didn't have sex that night, having her in my bed next to me kept me satisfied. I had her with me, and I was with her.

I was in love with Michonne, and whatever she wanted, if it was within my means I tried to provide it to her. If she wanted me to go real slow, I would. If she wanted me to go real fast, I would.

Michonne wasn't ready. I stole two kisses from her though. Two. One that morning as she sat and had breakfast with my kids and the other when we all made a trip to the store.

Michonne had tasked the kids to find two cartons of almond milk while she and I stood in the cereal aisle. I had both hands pushing the cart, to her one hand that held the handle at it's the farthest end. I tried to keep my hands as close to hers. I could hardly contain myself when she happily grabbed a box of toasted wheat that no one in the house would never ever eat. I took the box and placed it back on the shelf, and with her surprised disapproval I kissed her. I kissed her again and I would have almost sworn she was beginning to kiss me back. My kids were racing down the aisle towards us when we pulled away from each other.

* * *

I had heard every word in the garage. Even with Judith piercing screams and whines, I had overheard the conversation between Michonne and Carl.

I wanted to reprimand Carl. There was a talk I was going to have with my son at some point and it was going to be sooner than later.

I also knew if Michonne actually put dirt on her skin she was shutting down. I found her standing there staring at her wrist. I lifted her over my shoulder and allowed the bags of soap to remain on the garage floor to retrieve them after I took care of Michonne.

Undressing Michonne.

Her gorgeous nude body was as I remembered. My knees were weak, and I knelt before her, inhaled her essence. She smelled so good, and I squeezed the back of her bare thighs and pressed the side of my face into her pelvis. Her fingers dug into my hair.

Every time I inhaled, I felt her exhale.

My need for her was intense, and my judgment was cloudy. I had finally gained enough strength to stand to turn the shower on for Michonne and leave.

It was one of many moments we had and would share without words. It was clear to me we were on the same page.

That night, I could feel the warmth from Michonne's body as she lay next to me. We still kept the same distance between our bodies as we did the first night.

This was our second night. Her breathing began to lull me to sleep. I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep until I heard the vibration of my phone on the nightstand.

"Thank you very much, you bastard."

"Lori?"

"You just let me sit in jail, Rick?"

"Where is Shane?"

"I am the mother of your children, Rick."

"Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Do you have any idea how humiliating it was to spend two nights in jail?"

"I am hanging up, Lori."

"What time is it Rick?"

Michonne sat up in the bed next to me.

"Who's that?" Lori asked.

I wasn't about to explain myself to Lori. I hung up and completely turned off my phone. Lori was released from jail. I had my kids safe in their rooms under my roof. There was absolutely nothing to discuss with Lori as I checked my clock on the nightstand for the exact time.

"I am sorry, Michonne. Get some rest."

"I am up now."

"It was Lori. She has been in jail. She bitchin about me not getting her out." I had quickly told her.

"What did she do?"

"Fighting and damaging property."

"She doesn't even know how to fight. Why does she insist on fighting?" Michonne sincerely asked me to explain Lori's logic. I had the urge to laugh.

"Well, it was an equal match, unlike with you."

Michonne smiled bashfully at what I had said. It was there, and then it was gone. That smile. My heart was controlled by her smile.

"Why would she think you would rescue her Rick?"

"She's the mother of my children, Michonne."

"You left me at the Koban station, and you loved me. Not sure where you place your value."

"Are we going back to the Koban?"

"That was where you left me."

"We talked about it Michonne. We talked about it the day before. I was to take Lori-"

Knock Knock Knock.

"Open," I had commanded.

"Daddy, I can't sleep," Judith mumbled groggily.

"Coming, Jude."

I slid out of bed and walked to Michonne's side and surprised her with another kiss full on the lips. I continued to display my all causing her to gasp before relaxing. I then turned and left with my daughter Judith.

A few hours later I was able to return to my bed. I didn't realize Michonne wasn't asleep when I slid in next to her. I was lying on my back when she slipped into my arms, and her lips were quickly seeking mine.

I didn't hesitate. I kissed Michonne back like a dying man refusing to have his oxygen taken away.

My hands found she was completely naked, and I hurried to remove every stitch of my own clothing. I love the darkness of her skin and the taste of her kisses. I wanted her badly. I couldn't control how hungry I was to make love to her.

I was so in love with Michonne, and whatever she wanted, if any of it were within my means I would try and provide to her without question or hesitation.

Michonne wanted more kissing, but I wanted to hurry and get inside of her. I had to pace myself and allow her tongue to continue to seek full entry to my mouth that couldn't decide to be tit full or suckling between her legs.

The thought of licking her tits while spreading her legs open wider was just about enough to cause me to ejaculation earlier than I wanted and it was near impossible to not hump Michonne in areas that caused enough friction to release months on top of months of sexual buildup.

If Michonne wanted me to go real slow, I would try. If she wanted me to go real fast, it certainly would have happened without warning once I was officially inside of her especially with the way she rocked her hips.

For a split second, I was caught off guard when she rolled me over. She wanted to be on top. She took me in her hands and positioned herself to glide down in one swoop that reeled my body and my hands to pull her down into another frenzied kiss.

I flipped her on her back and plowed long and deep in rapid succession almost unable to keep up with my impending climax.

My mouth barely covered hers. I felt Michonne's orgasm when she strained a sound down my throat forcing out my own.

Our bodies heaved together. Her heart pounding with mine. My hands lingered on her back caressing downward until finding the lovely round mounds, and I squeezed pushing upward now that she was back on top. If I thought I had her soul at that moment, I wasn't ever giving it back.


	23. Reassurances

"...shades of OCD."  
― **Susan Kaye Quinn, Open Minds**

* * *

Two hours later, I had awakened to Michonne kissing me on my neck, working her way along my chest.

"Michonne." My body reacted immediately to her lips and her touch.

She stopped for only moment before kissing me in a certain way that there was no mistaking what she wanted to do again. I was surprised that she wanted more of me. I wasn't going to deny her. I kissed her right back with the same amount of intensity leaning upward to move her beneath me.

"I need you." She whispered.

There was fear in her eyes, and I sensed it. She was afraid of something, and I wasn't sure just what. I just felt it as I tried to reassure her.

"It's okay Michonne. I've got you, 'Chonne. I am not letting you go no matter what."

With those words I spoke, she softened even more, and we flowed into a frenzied state of lovemaking, connecting in ways that I only wanted to do with her. Michonne.

* * *

Again, I found myself alone in my bed, her side empty. I made my way to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and showered.

Carl was slowly on my mind, and I knew I would need to have a conversation with him sooner than later. I would need to have a discussion with Lori about what's going on with Carl.

What he asked Michonne was highly inappropriate. Carl had a tendency, and like his father, I recognized it but was afraid and ashamed to name it. It caused a division between Lori and me. She thought homeschooling him would be better. Keeping him from other children his age so he wouldn't pick up on bad habits even though he had proclivities that leaned to talking nonsense and or acting out without being reprimanded immediately for it.

His fascination with Zombies. His destruction of Judith dolls...Lori felt that it was something he would outgrow and there was a time I too wanted to believe that.

* * *

"Dad! Dad! Dad! She is turning into Zombie for real this time!"

I pulled the shirt over my head and rushed to the kitchen where Judith was standing back crying. Michonne was having a seizure. I yelled for Carl to hand me a rag and to call 911. He followed my instructions in the order in which I gave them. I placed Michonne on to her side as gently as I could. She was gaging, I didn't want her to choke. She was still convulsing. I checked my watch.

"Come on Michonne. Come on. Chonne, I am here. I am here." Never in my life have I ever been present for someone but helpless at the same time. Experiencing helplessness, another feeling I would wish on no one.

I had no idea how long Michonne was going through this before I got there, but it was over a full minute before she stopped twitching and relaxed. I shouted for Carl to take Judith out of the kitchen.

I wiped away any foam that built up around her lips and ran along her chin and cheek. Soon I realized she had stopped breathing. She had no pulse. I made sure her passageways were clear, and I began CPR. The sound of an ambulance was in the distance, a minute or two away.

I was asked questions I had no answers too. I had no idea what medications Michonne was taking or not taking. I had no idea if this was her first seizure ever or one of many she had experienced throughout her life. What I did know was I got her breathing again, but by the time they had her on the stretcher, she was having another seizure.

* * *

The moment I pulled into the driveway, Lori comes out of the house. Shane's car wasn't parked on the street nor in the small driveway.

I unbuckled Judith from her car seat and waited for Carl to take his sister's hand. No hello was shared between Lori and I. No 'Good morning or How are you?" Lori just went right to it.

"Who was that woman's voice that I heard?"

"I have something urgent Lori, and I need Carl and Judith to stay here until I get back, hopefully sometime tonight."

I wasn't going to explain anything to Lori. I was quite sure she would get a version of events from Carl if prodded long enough. I needed to get to the hospital.

"Rick what are you doing? You still have 4 more days with the kids."

"Go in the house Carl and take Judith with you." Carl had his sister's hand, but they both darted in the wrong direction, Mabel's house. It didn't bother Lori that our children would rather be with a crazy old woman instead of her.

"Did you hear anything that I just said?" Lori asked me.

I was overwhelmed with what I should do and what needed to be done. I had no time to engage Lori. She worked nowhere and had plenty of time. I would be back to get them.

"Loud and clear." Was my response to her.

Across the street, I could hear Mabel instructing Carl and Judith.

"Y'all take your shoes off you hear me? Don't go touching any cookies until I come in there to supervise. You hear me?" Then the tone changed, and I knew it was geared at me, "Where's my Grandbaby you damn blue-eyed snake in the grass?! Where's my Grandbaby?!"

I got back in my pickup truck. Lori began pounding her fist in the hood trying to cause a scene, shouting. Shifting in reverse all I could do was glare at her, drove straight to the hospital and waited. Michonne's brother soon arrived and sat across the waiting room with his back to me. He waited. We waited.

* * *

"Do you know what you are getting into?"

I heard him but wasn't sure if he was talking to me. We were the only two at the time in the waiting room.

"I would say you don't have any idea what you are getting yourself into." He continued.

I spoke to the back of his head, "Are you by chance talking to me?"

"Your son Carl told us what happened. If it weren't for him, we wouldn't be any the wiser other than Michonne was with you. We wouldn't have known she was a Zombie and the ambulance took her away."

"Can't say we were on speaking terms until now and the Zombie reference I will take care of it. I just hadn't had the time." I admitted.

"I have no idea how you think you going to take on my sister's issues when you have your own sociopath in the makings."

"Excuse me?"

"Do you even know what he used to do to the stray cats. If it weren't for Bigmama, he would still be doing it."

"Cats?"

"My sister has tendencies. She can be very impulsive. She married Mike on impulse. We thought she divorced on impulse, but I understand that to not be the case. Seems she thought that through according to my conversation with Mike."

"I am not sure how much Michonne has told you-."

"I am her brother. My name is Tyrese. Right now I am trying to gauge how much she told you about her where you are making an informed decision. It's one thing to inherit crazy Carl, for example, it is another thing to merge unknowingly with Michonne when you have a choice. You do have a choice to walk away."

"I would never walk away from Michonne."

I had just got Michonne back. Walk away?

"Mike was hoodwinked. He spent so much time with Michonne where he felt responsible and couldn't just walk away. You are not responsible. You have only been given a small glimpse today of what it takes to be with Michonne. She takes her pills and then she feels like she's better and stops them all together and winds up back on. I will say that the medication helps and the type Michonne was on should have never been stopped cold turkey. I have no idea why you would want to add her to your plate when you have two kids trying to adjust to a broken home."

His delivery was calm compared to how he dealt with Michonne a day ago. I was annoyed that I was talking to the back of his head. I got up and walked over to him where he remained seated.

"I will take care of my kids. I don't need you or anyone to tell me in which order I need to do things. I will handle Carl. I will. As for Michonne being added to the plate, I don't see it like that. She is the plate, and I am trying to fit my life there with her. My life. My choice. My decision. The kids will grow up and do their own thing regardless how I try to intervene and guide but one thing for sure they won't be able to say is that I didn't try and I wasn't there for them. They can't say that."

"Rick! I tried to get here as quickly as I could. Is Michonne okay? Will she be okay?" Sasha rushed over to me frantic with Daryl following behind.

* * *

"Stop crying I didn't die." Michonned reached for me from her hospital bed. I fell into her arms.

I broke down. I wasn't prepared to feel so much and relieved all at once just at the sight of Michonne. She didn't look well, but she was alive.

"Tell me what you need me to do, Chonne." I buried my face into her waist.

"Well, I have no idea what I need you to do that you haven't been doing already."

"I didn't know."

"Because I didn't tell you." She wiped away my tears with her fingers when she lifted my face.

"Maybe I should have asked?"

"I would not have known how to tell you that my childhood wasn't a good one. I would have not known how to tell you that my Mama used to sit me in water with caps full of bleach because I had to be clean. She quoted lots of scriptures, or things she thought should be in the good book Like cleanliness was next to godliness. Or a clean home represents a clear mind."

"What?"

"I think Carl was right. I guess at a point my mind didn't know when I was really truly dirty when my Mama would clean thinking that if she cleaned well enough if she was clean, her kids were really clean it would bring my Daddy back to her. She would scrub the linoleum way into the night. I began to help her and then it became a part of me to the point I couldn't function without thinking about what to wipe down or if my outfit was just perfect."

"Where did your Dad go?"

"Everywhere and anywhere he found a great love affair. Big Mama says he was nothing but a Rolling Stone. I think my Daddy outgrew my Mama who didn't finish high school. He was her first. Two kids later which was still a slight scandal back then, my daddy went against the odds of working in a tire plant to go and get his education, and he became a doctor. He had to sacrifice to do it. He says if he kept looking backward he would have never been able to move forward."

"Michonne..." I didn't know where to start to get a full understanding of what Michonne was sharing with me other than her mother was possibly OCD before the term was widely known.

"I felt it coming on in the garage. A sensation. A feeling of Deja vu. I don't know. It's hard to describe, but I had a feeling I was going to have a seizure."

"This wasn't your first-time Michonne?"

"It's been a while since I had one. I don't have them often. What I remember was that I woke up showered, brushed my teeth and made sure your kids brushed their teeth before we were to have cereal. I see you snuck in a box of Captain Crunch."

To see Michonne's smiling, I couldn't help but kiss the corner of her mouth as quickly as it appeared. She gave me a look that I was being scolded for the box of undesirable sweetness in place of a box of plain Wheaties.

"Who's eating Wheaties?"

"Anyway, I wanted to tell them to take a morning shower but was unsure of what their routine was for being clean and two days without bathing was just unacceptable."

"I don't allow them to go two days without showering, Michonne. Every night before bed is the routine when they are with me. Is that not acceptable?"

"I don't know, is it? I don't want your kids to be like me. I need you to tell me it is okay. I guess that is what I need from you. Reassurance. I believe you when you tell me. I believe you when you tell me that it's okay to wait or that dark-colored socks won't kill me. You said the dates were current or within time and they were."

"Okay. I can do that." I replied without hesitation.

"Okay?"

"Okay."


	24. A Man In Uniform

"...shades of OCD."

-Susan Kaye Quinn, Open Minds

* * *

Sasha waited on me hand and foot. She was such a good friend to have when I needed one the most. When I am at my craziest, Sasha knew instinctively to step back. She never held it against me nor excused it.

After I was already admitted and stabilized I was surprised to see my ex-husband Mike stepping into my hospital room. He was wearing his uniform, and I love to see a man in uniform. Military attire had to meet a strict code, and Mike would pass with flying colors if graded.

"Hello, Beautiful."

I recognized the deep cadence before turning my head.

"What are you doing here, Mike?"

"How's this angle of your bed?" He tapped the foot of my hospital bed before coming to close enough to plant a firm familiar kiss upon my forehead.

"What are you doing here?"

I knew he was testing if the medications prescribed were working especially if angles were not a concern. I wasn't obsessing, just resting.

"Your brother Tyrese called and told me."

"Why would he do that?"

"He needed to know ALL about the pills you are on to give the doctors some idea what to prescribe. You were unconscious, and I was privy to what was once in your medicine cabinet. We had been married long enough for me to know just what was supposed to be the right cocktail." Mike smiled showing his perfect line of white teeth.

"Leave me alone, Mike."

"That was what the divorce was for, remember?" He chuckled.

Mike tried to humor. I continued to resist.

"Why are you here?" This was my third time asking, and if he didn't answer, I was going to sound like a broken clock.

"I was worried and wanted to see for myself that you are okay."

Staring into his brown eyes, I could tell he was sincere. I began to focus on my hands and my cuticles.

"I don't want to go back on all those pills, Mike." I quietly admitted to him.

My life was on the line. I didn't have much choice in the matter when it came to having to be on some type of drug to keep my mind and body stabilized.

It still felt good to voice the rebellious side out loud to someone who knew the extremes the medications would send me.

"I have no idea how your Enlisted will survive trying to take care of you and his other priorities."

"Stop it. He is not enlisted. He is a Sheriff Deputy now."

"Is he a neat freak?"

"No, but he is not a slob either."

"Does he check dates?"

"Yes. He says he checks. I made sure to check, and everything checked like he said. He is mindful of dates."

"Does he have any children?"

"Yes. Two."

"How's that working out?"

"I'm not sure. It's only been three days. But I do like kids."

"You? You like kids?"

"You never heard me say I hate kids, now have you? If you say, Yes, you are a damn liar."

"Kids are messy, Michonne."

"They are," I admitted. I secretly liked the fact Rick's kids gave me a reason to keep things organized and clean.

"But it's only have been three days?" Mike tried to clarify what I had told him.

"He found me out of the blue. I woke up and..."

Mike was just as confused as I.

"We have been divorced a year, Michonne, and I have to say I honestly don't know who you are. I don't think I have ever seen a side of you that wasn't sedated or overly exaggerated."

"Why are you talking to me like that?"

"The guy who found you, he is outside this room pacing like a madman. I will never understand why you thought it was a good idea to leave me an officer, for an enlisted."

"They guy out there is a good guy believe it or not."

"And I'm a bad guy?"

"I never said that, Mike."

"What are you saying then, Michonne?"

"I like how he loves me. I like the way I can see it in his eyes, in his actions and feel it in his words. I need him more than anyone would understand. I need his kind of love he has just for me." I confided.

Mike didn't know how to respond.

My honesty wasn't to hurt my ex-husband, but to let him know I didn't leave our marriage for someone lesser than him. I had left our marriage for someone I had fallen hopelessly in love with who made me feel great even when I thought I didn't deserve too.

"Well, I have to say that guy outside this room is a pretty lucky guy if he got a chance to glimpse an elusive version of you. Your true self."

"Stop calling him that guy. His name is Rick."

"I told him he was a fool."

"Mike!"

"You heard it from me. I told him that he had to be out of his damn mind to take on everything that is associated with you. I listed them all. The bad, The ugly and the ugliest that comes from Obessive Compulsive Disorder."

"What did he say?"

"You are able to still see him regardless of your state of mind."

"He said that?"

"I also compared you to a broken thermostat."

"What did he say?"

"At least you are hot for him."

I giggled.

"I told him that you are going to say a lot of shit and you are going to have to say it, and it may be some of the meanest shit nonetheless."

"What did he say?"

"Any relief for you to free it from your head...he wants that."

"I will find a better doctor. I will make that promise to him, and I will let him know when I am going to level 10."

"I have to admit that guy, Rick is mad, crazy in love with you."

"I know."

"You must have recently given him a taste of the good stuff."

"My stuff is always good. Recent or not." I admonished Mike's inappropriate talk.

"I would have to agree."

"You know what's in store for you if you didn't agree."

Mike chuckled.

"I am no longer your wife, you know. I sincerely hope you found someone to make a better officer's wife."

"I'm not in any serious relationship. I'm more focused on my Navy Career than trying to find some type of love connection. I am at a point where I really don't want any distractions."

"Did you tell my Big mama? My Brother?"

"Tyrese asked. I told him it was mutual. I didn't tell him the details, but he is very damn good with deducing."

"Just don't confirm anything."

"I won't be around again to deny either. What I want for you is to listen to your doctor and for you to take your damn pills. If you going to be with this particular guy with kids and be a family, it is imperative that you take care of yourself and I know I didn't have to tell you that."

"No, you didn't have to, but you did. Thank you for coming through for my brother and for me."

Rick had entered my hospital room. He was territorial. It was, and Mike took his cue. I put my focus back on my ex-husband after sharing a long glance with Rick who immediately simmered down a notch.

"Goodbye, Michonne."

"Thank you, Mike."

* * *

"We don't have my kids. My kids are with Lori. I thought we could invite Sasha and Daryl over. Only if you are up to it."

"Don't you have to work today?"

"I have two days off, Michonne. Do you just want to spend it at home or do you want to do something?"

"Hmmm...I have things in storage. I would like to get those things out and moved here eventually."

"You rather move your things on my two days off?"

"I don't think I could tolerate the mess of boxes, unpacking and the sound of it." Michonne tried to shake the thought of what she described would be upsetting to her peace of mind.

Rick observed the constant change of behavior in the woman who had been steadily taking pills for the last 30+ days. She ranged from immobile zombie, complete indifference to slowly morph from different levels of irritable to irrational. Now without warning or a grand announcement she had mellowed out.

Michonne's only consistent behavior was cleaning. Constant rearranging of things. Every day the house smelled clean, cleaner, cleanest. Every single thing neatly arranged throughout his home. Nothing ever remained out of order when his kids were staying with them.

The only sign he noticed was when Michonne would freeze periodically when she did find something touched and not placed back just right. Rick and his children were learning her cues as she was learning his and their's.

"Miss Jude?"

"Yes, Ms. Michonne?"

"I am happy you aren't scared of me."

"Daddy says medicine makes you better."

"Do you listen to what your daddy tells you?"

"Yes."

"Do you listen to what your Mother tells you?"

"Sometimes."

"Did you know that napkins go in the trash can?"

Jude shrugged.

"Can you show me you know how to do that?"

"Yes."

"Thank you. I appreciate you, Miss. Jude."

"Anything else, Ms. Michonne?"

"Has anyone told you to push your chair in when you leave the table?"

Jude shrugged before shaking her head no.

"Can you show me you know how?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, Miss. Jude. I appreciate you."

"Anything else, Ms. Michonne?"

"When you are at Bigmama's house what do you do for fun?"

"Eat cookies!"

"What else?"

"Listen very carefully!"

"Is that fun?"

"Yes!"

* * *

Rick and Michonne hadn't been intimate since the morning of the seizure, and there were plenty of good reasons that Rick was cautious with even a kiss that could bring about a shove or a good cussing out. He didn't like the distance that was growing between them. He wasn't sure if Michonne felt the same loneliness he felt. Rick tried to think of ways to bring them together or to keep their bond strong. He wasn't sure how cognizant she was about the growing distance between them.

"You are staring at me, and it made me lose my train of thought." Michonne stood immobile in the middle of the living room.

"I'm sorry, Michonne. It's just that you have on the same dress you wore when I first met you. You had lost your ID that day."

"This?"

Rick watched how Michonne's hands smoothed out what didn't need smoothing from her waist down to her hips.

Over her shoulder, a picture she hung on the wall a few days ago, became even more interesting to Rick. Staring at the large canvas was the only way to distract his errant thoughts of stripping her naked. He was willing to do whatever Michonne insisted even though he really wanted to have sex.

Earlier in the day, he had made the mistake of going through her toiletry items. Michonne had an extensive collection of perfumes. Certain scents he would forever associate with Michonne not counting Lysol and Bleach. He had taken a whiff of one before placing it back in its designated spot on his dresser. He was in an instant state of arousal. It was that one particular fragrance she wore in Japan. He would inhale it from the back of her neck while her face was down in a plush white pillow.

"Yes. Your wearing one of my many favorite dresses. I love to see you in." Rick complimented keeping his hungry gaze back on the abstract painting that clashed with every single bit of furnishings.

"You normally kiss me when you have that dazed look like you have, Rick."

"Dazed look?" He searched immediately from her tone and eyes for clarity.

Michonne laughed.

Rick's heart began to leap in anticipation. From his vantage point, Michonne appeared receptive. He was intent on following all of her sexual cues.

"I need, I mean, I want to get my things out of storage and bring them here."

"Is that what you want to do?" Rick couldn't hide his disappointment from his tone.

"I would like to do that." Michonne tried to glean approval from Rick, but it was difficult when he was focused on the picture or something on her shoulder.

"I'm not an asshole Michonne."

"I know."

Michonne was slightly confused about where the conversation was going.

"I need incentive." Rick began to hedge.

"Incentive?"

"I need kissing-from you. Minimum. I don't want to move any additional things IN unless we have an understanding. I need this...that."

Rick realized he was setting up an ultimatum. If Michonne did not comply or agree...A slight panic began to creep into his gut. There was a battle waging inside of him. He was more than willing to compromise, but his desire for sex was influencing his communication skills.

"Kissing?"

"Need."

"You can't function without it?"

"Not after this...No." Rick declared firmly. He swallowed his fear, knowing Michonne had the upper hand.

"My therapist told me to be careful with the use of Need."

How Michonne emphasized the word caused Rick to focus his attention from her eyes to her lips.

This particular Therapist made good points to help Michonne see the difference between the need to scrub the toilet, and if it was something she wanted to do or if it was just a compulsion. Eight times to accomplish a goal that could be relegated to someone else or tapered to a lesser number that she successfully reduce to 4 times a day.

Michonne maintained a clean toilet and floors. Her goal was to get down to once a day. She was uncertain if it was possible, but it was a goal she strived for anyway.

"This is not a cleaning situation Michonne. It is not the same." Rick countered.

"I'm listening, Rick."

"I need you...in that way. I need to kiss you in the morning and before we go to sleep at night. You know there will come a time I may not have that opportunity, and I don't want to waste these days as if we are promised tomorrow. I live in my head and survive on remembering the time we had spent together in Japan. I want to make some new memories here, right now, today. Every day."

"Okay."

Michonne walked over to Rick and stood as close as possible to him. She took one hand and touched the side of his face while her other hand grasped him behind the base of his neck, her fingers became lost in the nape of his silky curls while applying pressure for him to lean down to meet her lips.

Seductively she kissed him. There was absolutely no hesitation from him in kissing her back. His mouth readily accepted her tongue's entry and its languid retreat. Michonne re-angled deepening their kiss. He was enjoying this opportunity he longed for desperately. He found it difficult to hold back. He was starving as he met every kiss. He wanted more, and it was long overdue.

Rick couldn't contain his desire based on his moaning, and grinding his hard-on against Michonne's hip bone, every time her teeth began to nip and pull at his lower lip.

They were both breathing heavy, gripping and fondling.

Michonne pushed Rick down on the couch to straddle him after sliding off her house shoes. His blue eyes were heavily hooded as he watched Michonne slowly lift her dress to show him she wasn't wearing any panties. It was all the visual Rick needed to undo his belt buckle and hurry to take his jeans and underwear off. When Michonne climbed on top and eased down, he gasped at the suddenness of being inside of her. Once she began to ride him, he couldn't take his eyes off of her.

* * *

"I don't know about this Daryl."

"What is there to know about? Rick had said to come by."

"I haven't heard anything about it from Michonne."

"Sasha, I am telling you Rick doesn't shit unless Michonne says it is okay to do so."

"That's a lie. Don't lie on my friend like that. She ain't like that."

"He goes to work and goes straight home to take care of Michonne. His kids too when he has them. He even arranged his days off to be home when he has the kids, so Michonne ain't overwhelmed. He checks to make sure she has taken her meds and calls me to vent when she has gone the hell off on his ass."

"He loves Michonne. Nothing wrong with that. He's making sure everything works out, and sometimes you have to put in a little more effort until things balance out."

"He's fucking crazy."

"You wouldn't do it for me?"

"Hell no. The shit he told me, I'm surprised Rick hasn't just fed himself some of those Xanax. Hell."

"Before I get out of this car, let me call her phone one more time."

"She runs shit."

"Shut up Daryl."

"I'm speaking the fucking truth, Sasha."

"It went to her voicemail. Come on. I am leading. I know when Michonne doesn't want to be bothered, and we will not step foot inside. Come on Daryl."

"You making me doubt Rick saying it is okay."

"We are here. Now come on Daryl. Come on."

"I'm coming woman."

"...Oh my."

"Sasha...Look at that...Damn."

"Oh my! Oh My! I don't think they know the curtains are open."

"I don't think they do."

"I don't think Michonne knew we were coming."

"Rick neither."

"I can't even look away."

"Michonne riding the fuck out of him."

"She may just be running shit like you said, Daryl."

"She's riding the Fuck. Out. Of. Him."

* * *

A/N: Updated to correct errors 03/31/2019. 6:14pm

I am too embarrassed to post any new stuff until I close out at least two of my older stories.

This has been a struggle. My apologies! I do appreciate those of you that come back to these older stories from time to time and leave feedback that you continue to do enjoy them. Thank you!


	25. We Named It Python

_"You can't compare men or women with mental disorders to the normal expectations of men and women in without mental orders. Your dealing with symptoms and until you understand that you will always try to find sane explanations among insane behaviors. You will always have unreachable standards and disappointments. If you want to survive in a marriage to someone that has a disorder you have to judge their actions from a place of realistic expectations in regards to that person's upbringing and diagnosis."  
_ **― Shannon L. Alder **

* * *

The spot. The sex spot. The semen, mixed with my sex, we left a few stains on the brown suede-like couch. I had to have been completely distracted at the time to even allow myself to go there with Rick. He was just eager to do it, and little did he know I was feeling frisky without my panties on.

What I was going to do was approach him in the bedroom at some point that day. It was on my mental list of things to do in our bedroom. Sheets can be changed and washed. A suede-like sofa where the cushion wasn't removable was going to be the death of me. A towel would have helped this. But we didn't use one. Just the thought of my bare ass and his, all over the sofa was just too much for me to just let go.

I know we hadn't made love in a while, and because of it, we ended up having crazy sex. Eventually, he carried me into the bedroom. Now he is leaning against the bedroom doorway watching me try not to have a nervous breakdown. My thoughts could have been in a thousand places, but they zeroed in on two things: the sofa and whether or not he even washed his dick that was semi-erect dangling to the left.

"Michonne."

"I am going to lose my _mind_."

I had to be honest.

"Over?"

"This couch."

"Why?"

"It is stained Rick. I can't get it clean enough for some reason."

"Well, Michonne you may need to let it dry."

"One side has a water stain I think. I used the blow dryer. See?"

"We may need to get a _professional_?"

"Professional. We _could_ do that. I haven't considered that."

"What have you considered, Michonne?"

"Throwing it _**out**_."

"The couch?"

"I have one in storage. It is a leather couch. Real leather. Top leather. Leather. Not blended and not bonded."

"Sounds expensive."

"It was. Is. I have to bring it here. This couch has to be thrown out. I have run my hands over this, and it keeps giving me a light shade, and then a darker shade emphasizing the water spot which is technically the sex spot. We have stained it here too."

"Will this show up on a leather couch?"

"I would have a towel next time. A sex towel. Only used for furniture purposes."

"You are determined that I am to use my day off to move stuff." Rick was amused even though I knew he did not want to spend his day off moving furniture around.

"Not stuff. I don't think I can handle things being shuffled about all at once. I mean I can handle just this couch going out to the dumpster once you go and get my sofa, coffee table, end table, love seat, two chairs, and my two lamps. We can throw out your bedroom stuff next time you are off."

"My bedroom? What's wrong with my bedroom furniture."

"Your bed squeaks."

"Squeaks?"

"If the kids are ever here they would hear it."

"The bed or you?"

"You make sounds too, Buster!"

"I think I can get myself under control if we plan to have sex often especially knowing that the kids are here with us. Is it safe to say we are or will be having sex more often, now?"

"I thought you just wanted to kiss?"

"I just want you Michonne. I just want you happy, and if I got to move stuff around to make you happy, I would do it."

"Not stuff, Rick. Couch to the dumpster, and we go get my sofa, coffee table, end table, love seat two chairs and two lamps from storage."

"I will ask Daryl to help me out in the morning to move my couch to the curb and go get your sofa, coffee table, end table, love seat two chairs and two lamps from your storage unit. You and Sasha could probably get this area ready for us to bring it all inside."

"You really want us to spend some time with Daryl and Sasha."

"We haven't done it in a while. Sasha has the restaurant, and I'm just waiting for you to be ready for me to take you there."

"We can take the kids with us when we go this weekend. You will have the kids. We will go then."

"Okay."

"Did you wash that?" I finally asked him now that I had him receptive to throwing out his sofa.

Something about his lower half kept me mesmerized. Probably because he was circumcised. Mike, my ex-husband wasn't. There was less of a cleaning ritual with Rick not having that extra foreskin. No Q-tip needed.

"What?"

A smile was playing on his lips. He knew what I was talking about.

"That python."

"I was waiting on you."

"On me?"

"Yeah, this mighty Python was waiting on a good wipe down with a nice hot soapy wash-cloth."

"You don't like it hot, Rick."

"How do I like it Michonne? It's been so long since I had a good wipe down."

"You like it warm and very wet."

"Last time it was extremely wet."

I had noticed his lower lip was visibly moist after licking it the way he did.

"Python is erect," I informed him as if he didn't know he was standing in the bedroom doorway with a hard-on.

"The Best way to wipe him down right? When he is at full attention."

"You are trying to keep me distracted."

"Is it working?"

"Yes."

* * *

"Damn Sasha."

Daryl wanted to help Sasha move her hips just like he remembered Michonnes did without any assistance. He resisted placing his hands there. He kept them firmly set by his side like he watched his friend Rick do earlier that day on the couch.

"Daryl you can't just sit there."

"Oh, yes the hell I can if you move a little bit more and bounce just right."

"Well, then lean back a little bit more."

"I can't lean back woman when it is getting good."

"It's getting good to you?"

"It was before we started doing all this talking."

"They made it look good. It's not comfortable."

"They? Michonne made that shit look incredible."

"Michonne?" Sasha was surprised.

"Hell yeah."

"Rick was leaning back that's why." Sasha felt that Rick needed some credit.

"Michonne ever use to be a booty pole dancer at the club back in the day?"

"No. And why would she have to be a booty pole dancer, Daryl?"

"Cause I ain't been nowhere that was performing no ballet. I can spot booty dancers before I can spot a toe dancer. I've been to some places before, and she moves like them."

"I don't move like them, Daryl?"

"You do when you ain't talking so much."

"You got to lean back, Daryl. Rick was letting Michonne ride him. Rick was-"

"I just know the fuck we ain't talking about Rick." Daryl sat up straight lifting Sasha by the ass up off his lap and flung her over his shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

"Carrying your ass into the bedroom."

"So we aren't going to do it on the couch?"

"Nope. We're back to missionary. Just cause you got a restaurant, and I work for you now, I'm still the boss. I run shit."

"Well, show me. Show me how you run shit baby."

* * *

"Are you okay?"

"Why?"

"You keep touching your stomach."

"Oh."

Michonne became more cognizant and removed her right hand, with her left she began to actively dust before switching it to her right. She was carefully going along the window blinds. "I'm okay."

Michonne had a growing desire to one day experience the changes brought on by pregnancy. She wasn't pregnant. Her ovaries were in overdrive with watching Rick with his children. He was so good with them that it made her think of the future and the many possibilities.

"Are you about to be sick again?" Carl asked cautiously.

"No," Michonne muttered.

"I hate dusting."

Carl made no movement to begin.

"I got that duster just for you to share with your Dad. You told me you never dusted so I can't imagine how you would know that you don't like dusting if you never did it?"

"Does Dad like it?"

"You may have to ask him, but I never heard him complain on the first day of dusting."

"How often do you do this?" Carl was curious about Michonne's level of OCD.

"I use to have it so bad where it was at least one less the amount of times I mopped. I had it in my mind that the morning mop collected the morning dust. When I dusted, I had to sweep then mop again. I am going to do that now, but I only do it twice a day instead of way more a day. I've made it to once a day a few times, but I had your Dad to distract me. I want to get down to once a day."

Michonne was vague on purpose. She was still embarrassed about the extent of her disorder. Only her ex-husband knew the details and Rick had become acquainted quickly with her obsessions.

"Are you trying to make us into you?" Carl asked concerned.

"No. You still need to know what it looks like to have dust around you and how to wipe it away. I think that is why God had the Sunshine in the house just right so I could show you."

"Do you even give dust time to settle?"

"How long do you think is a good time to just let dust sit?" Michonne curiosity was piqued.

"Do you ever think about that?" Carl asked her.

"No, because it would more than likely drive me insane if I weren't on medication. How long would you think in your mind would be acceptable to allow dust that is made up of all kinds of tiny particles to lay about and collect into a thicker layer that is visible?" Michonne wanted to know Carl's now eleven-year-old mind's logic.

"My Mom doesn't do dusting as much as you do. She probably maybe wipes the furniture down once a week tops. She cleans a little if we have company or if she has company. I told her you are very clean. I didn't tell her that you are crazy clean though."

"I appreciate that you left the crazy part out."

"She asks questions about you. My Mom wants to know if we are scared of you or something just because Jude makes sure she pushes in her chair at the table and throws away her trash. Mom wanted to know if you were running things here and if Dad was letting you run things."

"Your Dad is the Boss."

"He says we have to mind you."

"Do you have a problem with that, Carl?"

"No."

"Then why aren't you moving your arm and dusting?"

Carl began to take his duster and mimic Michonne's movement around the other large window. He knew she had a thing about sound and he was careful with any excessive jostling of the blinds against the window. Carl was mindful of that fact. He noticed no particles were floating in the air as he tried to remember the word. Misophonia.

The sounds that drove Michonne crazy varied in degree, but the two that Carl was aware of was the sound of a person not blowing their nose. Michonne called it snorkeling snot; most people called it sniffling. Sniffling had the potential to send Michonne into a rage if tissue was available and the person would much prefer to swallow their snot instead of blowing their nose. The other was smoke detectors in need of a battery. Chirp. 30 seconds. Chirp. 30 Seconds. Chirp. Duracell Batteries were quickly purchased along with extras after an episode at 2am in the morning.

"Bigmama says she's still not talking to you."

"What else?" Michonne asked unbothered.

"She told me to inform you that you made your bed and if anyone is going to lie in it, it will be you and my Dad."

"Well, that is how I would like to keep it. I see Bigmama still has a problem with it. Do you have a problem with it?"

Carl's shrug came with careful consideration, causing Michonne to pause from her dusting across the windowsill where she kept an eye out on Rick and Judith in the front yard tending to trash duty.

"Dad was wondering if you would marry him. He says he's been thinking about it for a long time and he was wondering what we thought about it. Kind of like you were asking me if I have a problem with it. I am not sure what IT is. My Dad likes you a lot. He keeps you safe, and you don't bother him like my Mom does."

"Your Mom didn't always use to annoy him. He used to love her once I am sure. A relationship has to be built on more than like if that is all he has for me as you just described."

Michonne said casually. She wasn't aware of Rick's intentions regarding marriage. It wasn't a topic that was discussed.

"I don't think so. My Dad likes a lot of things with you, and my Mom listed them off that he never like doing before and taking out the trash is one of them. Decorating. Kissing. Sightseeing. Grocery Shopping. Mom said she never could get Dad in a grocery store with or without her and she said she'd seen him in the store with you at least a half a dozen times. By himself a dozen times more in the last few months since you've been living here with him. Dad likes doing what makes you happy. He's okay if you are okay."

"Really, what makes you think that man is happy about taking out the trash just now." Michonne pointed in the window with her duster in the direction of Rick with Carl standing beside her.

"Look how he is smiling at you. He's always smiling."

Michonne smiled back at the man that was looking at her watch him and his daughter finish trash duty. He was laughing at Michonne standing in between the blinds and the window as he was heading inside with Jude.

"What pills are you on Carl?"

"I don't know how to pronounce it, but my Mom says she should have done it years ago."

Michonne's eyes instantly went to the door that opened. She listened for the shoes to find their places next to the door and the small delicate feet follow the more massive footfalls into the bathroom to wash their hands.

"Do you like your, Doctor?"

"I do."

"Good."

"What are you doing, Michonne?"

Rick walked into the area where Michonne and Carl were standing, taking in the sight of the woman determined to clean what wasn't dirty nor dusty.

"Dusting, Rick."

"I thought we talked about it." Rick put more of his weight on one leg. He had Jude on his hip.

"Well, the sun was shining bright, and I thought it would be a good time to show Carl what dust looks like."

"Did you get a chance to see it, Carl?" Rick asked his son.

"No, Dad."

"You know why that is Michonne? Because you dusted yesterday, today is skip a day." He let Jude slide down to her feet.

"I want to dust." Jude ran to Carl to take his duster.

"Today is skip a day Jude. No dusting on skip day." Rick informed his daughter.

"Are skip days random?" Michonne asked Rick.

"Yes."

Rick walked over and takes the duster from Michonne and kisses her on the lips, a tad bit forcefully Michonne kisses him back, and it causes him to chuckle.

"Carl put this duster in the laundry area along with the one you have. Take your sister with you. Today is game day. Pick a board game and set it up at the kitchen table. We will be in there in a minute."

Rick instructed his children, and they both did as told.

"Yay," said Carl.

"Yay." Judith agreed following her brother out of the room.

"Skip day is our game day too?" Michonne asked once the kids were happily out of the living room excited that skip day was also game day.

"It includes grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. Just like last week and the week before that." Rick leaned in hoping to get more of the forceful kiss, but he got a genuine smile.

"Grilled cheese and tomato soup, Rick?"

"That is what is on the Menu and served by Chef Rick."

"You know I can cook."

"I know you can cook. You are an excellent cook. Today is a skip day for you. I am going to cook, and I will clean up the kitchen. You can sit and watch me if you want or..."

"I can't watch you without helping you so I will watch television with the kids until you finish."

"Skip a day is going to be your favorite day, pretty lady. I'm going to make sure of it."

"You like distracting me."

"You need to be distracted."

"I am trying to be good, Rick."

"I know."

"I want to be relaxed."

"I know that is what skip a day is for. It is okay to relax. Nothing will fall apart just because you did absolutely nothing but had a good time and if by chance things did fall apart, I am here to help fix it."

"You are making me cry. I feel heavy now."

"I have no idea why. I am here Michonne. You don't have to clean for me to come home or stay home. I'm home. I'm with you. I'm not going anywhere but to work or whatever errand you send me on. I like running errands together more or when we have the kids with us. I like that too."

"Carl said you like a lot of things."

"I do like a lot of things. I've been told I don't, but I do. I know some of it is because I am so crazy in love with you and the other some of it is I Love You."

Rick knew to stay away from terms that expressed degrees as much as possible when dealing with Michonne. Fractions, percentages, numerical amounts, quantifying would drive her crazy at some point. Michonne couldn't grasp vague, and somehow when it came from him, it made her less tortured.

"Look at me, Michonne. Look at me." He tried to raise her face up by cupping her chin. "I love you."

"Okay."

"I am here with you." Rick looked into her teary eyes, and with his thumbs, he brushed away her tears.

"Okay. I've stopped crying. See. I am good now."

"Good."

"I love you too, and I want to make you happy, Rick."

"Can you finish quickly what that forceful kiss was about? That would make me really happy."

"What?"

"I'm curious."

"You really like kissing." Michonne realized that Carl was really on to something and he was just a kid.

"Kissing you, I do."

Michonne repeated what she started, an aggressive kiss that caused Rick to struggle with his own self-control while kissing her back precisely as she was giving it to him. He knew the kids were going to come out of the kitchen at any moment to announce that the board game was set up and which game they would be playing.

His python didn't care about the kids nor could he hide it bulging forth in his sweatpants. Rick was thankful that Michonne had the wherewithal to breakaway first and guide the kids back in the kitchen to leave him until his aroused state dissipated.

* * *

"What's wrong with the couch?" Daryl asked as he helped Rick haul it out of the home.

"Michonne wants it gone because it is stained."

"Stained where?" The sofa was out in the sun.

"It is in her mind that it is stained."

"It's one of those sofa's that you get that light and dark shading when you run your hand over it." Daryl ran his hand over the material on top of the couch to show the difference in coloring.

"That's one of the areas she was talking about. She was scrubbing it."

"What, the kids spill something down it or something?"

"No."

"Someone got sick?"

"No, we were going a little crazy, and I put Michonne up there like so and..."

"This is the shit Y'all were doing just yesterday?"

"How'd you know?"

"Your curtains were open."

"Why in the hell didn't you say something? Or ring the fucking doorbell?"

"You were fucking. The worse thing is to have a good fuck disturbed. Sasha wasn't going to ring that doorbell, and neither was I."

"Did you guys just stand there and watch?"

"We did."

"Are you serious?"

"I have no idea how you have any energy to move shit when Michonne was working you the fuck out, yesterday."

"You and Sasha stood there and just watched?"

"I took Sasha home and refreshed her memory of who's running shit at our house."

"For the love of God, please don't let this get to Michonne."

"I don't even talk to Michonne like that and Sasha wouldn't do it, I am sure. She knows-"

Michonne stood on the front porch arms folded with Sasha hanging her head down in shame beside her.

"Rick, I need you to help me measure these windows. We have two perverts amongst us, and I need you to get these boxes numbered 148, 149 and 150 out of the storage unit if the measurements line up. I think it does. I have wood blinds. We will install blinds right away, or you take the measurements to Lowes or Home Depot and make an express order. Come on Rick and help me make sure the numbers are right."

"Fuck," Rick said under his breath. He prayed that this revelation didn't set his sex life back another undetermined amount of time.

* * *

A/N: Correction made 03/31/2019 7:53pm.


	26. Lice or Louse?

_"I needed some space to lay myself out, so that I could decide which pieces I wanted to pick up."  
_ **― Fennel Hudson, A Writer's Year - Fennel's Journal - No.**

* * *

"Daryl stop."

"Seriously. It is a serious question, Sasha. When did you know Michonne was crazy?"

"She isn't crazy, Daryl. She has mental issues. Crazy she is not. I don't appreciate this conversation. She's my friend. I don't talk about Rick."

"Well, Rick ain't crazy. Well, I take that back he is crazy to deal with Michonne. I asked him how was it that he didn't know? There weren't any outward signs or anything? He says he didn't know."

"I wonder why Rick calls you. You are not a sympathetic ear."

"Not true."

" _In_ _love_ blinds people. _In_ _love_ , you don't see the person because you are drowning losing your whole identity to become one. The person holds their breath, and the other feels like they are going to die."

Sasha stopped preparing their breakfast long enough to see that Daryl was holding his breath.

"What are you doing?"

"Proving that the in love bullshit you just described is crap."

"You are crazy."

"Unless you trying to say you ain't in love with me?"

"It's too early in the morning to do this with you, Daryl. We have to be at the restaurant to make sure everyone is on their toes."

"Michonne is definitely keeping Rick on his toes."

"I plan to keep you on your toes at the restaurant."

"In love. I think he's still in love. He's suffering from some form of insanity."

"Michonne has been found. That is all that matters. He didn't have to put out a public announcement to find her. I don't give two shits where he found her. He found her. Alive."

"He won't say where she was?"

"It's none of your business. None."

"I asked him, but he won't tell me."

"You asked because you are nosey."

"Ain't like I am going to tell anybody. I'm not that kind of friend."

"I'm not telling you either. I am certain there are some things that Rick shares with you that you don't tell me and I appreciate it. I respect it. You keep his secrets, and I keep hers."

"Where in the hell did Michonne run off to, woman?"

"She won't say."

* * *

I was worried when word got to me that Michonne had to go to their school. I was in the middle of an arrest when it all happened. When I did receive the message the school was trying to contact me about Judith and Carl I knew Lori wasn't anywhere to be found.

"Where were you, Lori? Where were you when the school was calling you yesterday?"

I just couldn't fathom how much the woman standing in the doorway of the home we once shared changed. She was trying to keep her robe closed. Nothing she was concealing I hadn't seen before. She held the screen door shut between us as we spoke. It was 6AM. It was the next day when I had stopped over before going to work.

"My phone was off Rick. I must have overslept. Where was your phone? Why weren't you answering yours?"

"I was at fucking work, Lori. Judith and Carl are our responsibility. Michonne should not have been the one to go down to the school because you were to busy sleeping."

I wondered if Lori was passed out from drinking or asleep from cold medications.

"How would Michonne be allowed to take our kids from the school, Rick? I don't recall agreeing to anything like it."

"Permission granted by me as a last resort. Many people seem to know our situation and yours in particular. This is a small town, Lori. It was your choice to be right back here. If things had gone as planned, we would have never left King's County."

"We would probably still be happily married. Have you given thought to that?" Lori fired back.

"I have and the thought that Michonne having a relative in the same town, right across the street from where we were staying would be every indication not for long if I would have laid eyes on her coming or going from the property."

"What you are saying is that you would have still cheated, Rick?"

"What I am saying is that God has a sense of humor."

"I bet only you could find reasons to stay unfaithful even with that line of logic. Anyway, I thought your parents were on the list."

"Your parents too. Michonne was a last resort that I didn't think would ever in a million years be used because of our family as our back up. I have no idea where everyone was to have Michonne as the very last resort called. She was there for Judith and Carl."

"This conversation isn't productive. I don't want to hear about how your girlfriend saved the day."

"This conversation isn't about Michonne. It is about you and me. This conversation is about placing you on notice regarding custody. We can either work this out without going to court and battling for custody or we can come to a mutual understanding."

"You are crazy if you think I would let you have them full time."

"I will ask for full custody. With the way your life has been, I don't think anyone would side with you. I want the kids to stay with Michonne and me when this lice thing blows over. Thirty days for you to think about just letting the kids just stay by me and they come to you when they want, or we can discuss something where I have them more."

"I am their mother! Charges have been dropped against me regarding the fighting incident, and I am paying restitution for the damages in the other incident. I am no longer with Shane. What the fuck more do you want? I mean you having them means I have to pay you child support?"

"Think about it, Lori. We don't have to decide right here and right now. I'm letting you know my intentions."

"On the front step of my home is how we handle business?"

"Did you know Michonne was in your house?"

"What?"

"Did you know she was there at all?"

"In my house?"

"Obviously not, because you would have been a raving mad lunatic on the phone. Anything to get the focus off of you. This happens to reflect on me."

"She was in my house?!" Lori was in shock.

"She was there because you wouldn't come to the door yesterday when she had Judith and Carl with her. While you lay passed out our kids were being sent home for lice. Judith has head lice, and so does Carl, She said she left a kit and comb on your kitchen table. How'd you think it got there?"

"My house is a mess."

"She said as much."

"I'm so embarrassed."

"I'm surprised the kids didn't say anything about Michonne helping them."

"They never say anything about your girlfriend. Somehow they know not to rub things in a wound that is still raw."

I didn't know how to help Lori with that because Michonne wasn't a secret or something sordid that needed to remain in the dark. I just knew that Lori would have to find a way to become numb to the pain that the mention of Michonne's named caused.

"Michonne gave them their first treatment. You have to continue the treatment. They can't go back to school until the lice are gone. Once the lice are gone you have to drive them to school so the school nurse can make sure the lice has been eradicated. They still have a no-nit policy. They can't go on the bus until the school says it is okay."

* * *

"We need to stay with you and Dad." Carl professed. His hair was damp, and he wore a solemn look sitting next to Judith who's hair was still marinating in treatment.

"Why do you say that? Besides the obvious reason that you say it wanting your Dad and to be with him more. I wanted my Dad something awful when I was your age too."

"We wouldn't have lice if we were with you and Dad. You are very clean."

"Not true. According to what I have read so far it says it doesn't mean that you are dirty if you have lice. It means your hair was super clean and ripe for Lice."

Michonne's mind fought with that logic, and it was a terrible battle, but the extra pill she popped in her mouth without water was doing its job even if it was considered overdosing.

"Clean?"

"According to what I've read. Your hair is so clean that you can not, should not, EVER share things with other kids in the school. Not even a brush Jude or a helmet Carl. Are you listening to me?"

"Yes. Dad says we have to listen to you."

"You don't have to, but you should want to if you want good sense about things."

"That's what Bigmama says to us all the time."

"She said it to me a lot when I lived with her."

"We want to live with you and Dad. Right, Jude?"

"Yes."

"Will you be okay if we did or could?" Carl asked. He wanted to know if he and his sister were wished to, would be desired.

"Your Dad is the boss. I don't have a say in what he wants and what he feels is best for everyone involved. Your Dad has a good mind, and he has the answers and knows if he can take it back to court if necessary."

"Well, Dad is going to care about what you think about it, and I need to know what to say to him, Ms. Michonne."

"Tell him I need the practice."

* * *

Lice and Michonne. Michonne and lice. I panicked when I got the gist of what involved Michonne having to go to the school for my children. I didn't bother to change into my civilian clothes. I hurried home to find the house empty even though Michonne's car was still parked in the driveway.

There were three large garbage bags in the lawn. I opened two that were full of the kids bedding. I knew then she had a day with the discovery of lice to Louse. She probably had to make a decision that overwhelmed her, and it may have consisted of burning mattresses or the whole house to kill any possible infestation in hopes to unclog her mind.

I called Daryl. Daryl had asked his wife if Michonne was with her. She wasn't. I told them both about the lice and Sasha immediately connected the dots to my urgency.

Where was Michonne?

I checked her pills, and they were still in the bathroom medicine cabinet, neatly organized and arranged. I sat at the foot of my bed unwilling to give into being utterly distraught. I had one place to check, and that was her relative who lived across the street from Lori. I opened my closet to grab a jacket, and there I found her fast asleep on the floor. I was surprised and relieved. I fell to my knees, and she stirred.

"Michonne, what are you doing in here?"

My eyes couldn't focus on the sight of her. My tears blinded me.

"Trying not to run away, Rick."

"I am glad you didn't. I had no idea where to go looking for you."

"You can always start with a closet to find me."

"Good to know."

I barely waited for Michonne to sit in an upright position before I grabbed her face and kissed her several times on the lips. She seemed surprised. Genuinely surprised that something odd had just occurred and she needed to share.

"I fell asleep."

"I bet you had a day."

"I did have a day." Her voice was barely above a slight whisper.

"You want to talk about it?" I crossed my legs Indian style and sat facing her on the closet floor with the door ajar.

"I think I have a good chance." Slight hint of uncertainty was in Michonne's tone.

"You do," I confirmed.

"I went to the school and got Judith and Carl. Even with knowing they had lice. I did go." The feat she wanted me to recognize.

"Thank you."

I held her hand after she had brushed my last fallen tear. I appreciated any attempt and acknowledged this enormous feat she was able to accomplish.

"I didn't call you because I knew I was the last resort. I knew you had to be busy fighting crime."

"I was." I smiled. "You are the one I can count on, Michonne."

"I couldn't take my car. I had no idea about Lice. I didn't have time to look it up because I had to get to their school. Your kids needed me, and I got there as fast as I could walking."

"Less than a mile away from here. Good exercise on a beautiful day like today."

Michonne nodded in agreement.

"Well, I got there, and Judith was crying. Carl was crying. I wasn't sure if it was embarrassments or if the lice hurt. Like painful. The nurse told me what I would need to buy from the store. I didn't ask questions because as a mother I am supposed to know about Lice and what to do. I pretended I had it handled. I walked to the pharmacy with them."

"Less than a block away from the school."

"Yes. That one. I allowed Carl and Judith to seek out whatever they wanted while I went in search of the shampoo aisle."

"You didn't get overwhelmed which is good."

"I focused. I heard your voice telling me to breathe and calm down."

"You are one of the most focused women I know."

"But I'm not a mother, and I can't know about lice because it would drive me crazy. I wouldn't sleep."

"But you slept."

"I couldn't bring them back here, Rick. I couldn't. I purchased the lice treatment and took them to your ex-wife. She wouldn't answer the door. I went in with your kids, and she was passed out on the couch. I barely made it past the front door. I needed to clean everything. Dust. Things were out of order. Her house was drowning out the reason why I was there. I heard your voice telling me to stay focus on one thing. One thing."

"One thing, Michonne."

"I washed their hair. I gave them their treatment. I couldn't comb, Rick. I had no way to cope with a comb and lice. The plural isn't Louse. Louse is one and lice meant many. I didn't want to know how many by combing them out. The word confirmed more than one. Highly contagious and I helped Judith and Carl anyway."

"Thank you, Michonne for giving them their treatment."

"I'm not ready to be a mother, Rick. Not yet. I think I need lots of practice. I like that your kids are old enough to speak up for themselves. They were raised to do so, unlike me when I was their age."

"Talk to me, Michonne. I'm listening. I'm listening to you."

"I'm not ready because my mother is still here," Michonne points to her temple, "She's trying to break free, and I fight her every day, and sometimes I get tired, and I have to find a quiet place to keep her at bay when it gets too much. It takes lots of practice. I am going to need lots of practice to build up my endurance."

"Tell me exactly what your mother wanted to do today?"

"Hose them down with a water hose outside. I thought better than that. When I was a kid my mother used to hose my brothers and me down or dump buckets of water over our heads, and we had to stand there, or we weren't considered clean. I would never do that to Judith or Carl; I want you to know that. I couldn't wash their hair in the bathroom. It was too much. Too much. I had to do it in the kitchen sink. I had to take the pots and pans out that was sitting in there, unclean for no reason. I did it, and I didn't clean her pots and pans. I did not organize her kitchen. I wiped down the counter and cleaned out the sink to rinse the treatment. I couldn't do it in her bathroom. I couldn't. I didn't take them outside and hose them down either."

"I know you wouldn't do that, Michonne. You did the next best thing. Thank you."

"How do you know, I wouldn't hose them, Rick?"

"Because I wouldn't do that. I won't do that to our very own children if we are ever lucky to have any."

"You would want kids with me?" Michonne was surprised.

"When you think you are ready, I would," Rick confirmed.

"With me?"

"That should be my question to you, Michonne. Do you want to have children with me, when you are ready to try, of course?"

"I'm not ready. I'm not sure if I will ever be ready, but it means the world to me that you would want to, with me at some point."

"You have to be ready in three places. Here, here and there." He touched her face lightly to indicate her mind, allowing his hand to drift softly above her left breast, to mark her heart and towards her abdomen to suggest her womb.

"Okay."

I was surprised when she took my face in her hands and kissed me. I kissed her back. We were kissing in the closet. She began to undress me and then herself. She seemed highly aroused and unusually aggressive. We were making love on the floor of the closet. It was the most uncomfortable and yet the best sex compared to the night before.

* * *

Daryl and Sasha were on the line with Rick. Daryl had Rick on speaker so that he didn't have to repeat what she would have heard with her own two ears since Michonne wasn't picking up her phone.

"Man, I'm glad Michonne was found."

"Yeah."

"Where was she?" Sasha asked.

"Taking a nap," Rick replied.

"Taking a nap?" Daryl questioned.

"Yes," Rick answered.

"You didn't check the house before you got us all worried? We were about to get together and have a search party and-" Daryl was cut short.

"Can I call you back?" Rick's voice cracked.

"Why?"

This line of questioning wasn't unusual from Daryl. He wasn't a chatting on the phone type of person, and he was hoping there would be no further communications where he had to be compelled to answer his phone because the name Rick Grimes appeared at least once or twice a day. Whatever needed discussing, let's talk now.

"This isn't a good time." Rick's voice wavered.

"Why?"

"Uh...I have to hang up...For the love of Gawd, Michonne. I was on the phone...You keep doing that, Michonne... Yes, Yes, oh yes..."

"Please let me play with Python," Michonne begged.

"Yes. Please play with him, yeah, like that. Let me know when I can... Damn, Michonne. Damn. Take him...Take him. He wants you so bad to take him...Yes."

"In the closet, Rick. Where you found me. In the closet. I want to do it in there again."

"Wait...It's more comfortable here."

"We are going to close the door this time. You can stand if you want. Come. Come. Come."

"Yes. Yes. Yes. Fuck yes...Fucking Milk me."

Sasha and Daryl both had their mouth agape wanting to know what kind of sex were those two having and the request to be Milked?

They couldn't hear much of anything else other than a few moans in the distance.

"Now that is a kinky ass couple."

"I can't hear anything else. Can you Daryl?" Sasha asked.

"Naw. They probably actually took the shit to the closet."

* * *

A/N: Updated Corrections made 03/31/2019. 9:17pm

Orignal A/N below:

A/N: As promised. I failed on Honey Bee. Hopefully tomorrow 06/24/2017 for that one.


	27. Were They Listening Too?

_One thing which I can't stress enough is that OCD is completely nonsensical and will not listen to reason. This is one of the most frightening things about having it._

 _I knew that to_  
 _anyone I told, there are Salvador Dali paintings that make more sense."_  
 **―** **Joe Wells** **,** **Touch and Go Joe: An Adolescent's Experience of OCD**

* * *

"Please, Michonne bend over just a little more. Yes... Oh god, just like that..."

Rick had the right amount of access, and once he got started, he was going to squeeze those ass cheeks of hers together and bring her to the promise land called, The Big O Island.

"Is that better?" Michonne asked almost breathless, trying to keep her balance.

Rick continued with his Python gliding up and down her folds. Her scent indicated to Rick that she was ready but not really prepared. His Python needed her to be very prepared before he began to plow, burrow in thoroughly. He was teasing her with his mushroom shaped tip. He was ready to go inside her and relish in her warmth and creamy wetness.

"Mmmm," Rick responded involuntarily. His Python wanted to get started, and that brain sent a signal to his head, Ready or not Michonne...

"I think I see dust in the corner. Right there on the baseboard, Rick."

"How? It's dark, Michonne."

"Well, It's enough light that shows there is substantial shading over in the corner versus-"

Python rushed inside with the tip of his head. He couldn't wait for Rick. Python knew with the tip inside Michonne would lose all train of thought, and the visual of dust would become non-existent. One good thrust would have Michonne close her eyes and move those hips, drawing closer in the direction for him to go deeper, she did just that, and it was incredible.

Michonne gasped and whined. All things sex with Rick had her weak in the knees. She was cured momentarily of all things OCD.

"I need you, Michonne. I need this from you." Rick continued to thrust while biting his lower lip.

The word NEED was like an aphrodisiac. She was very wet and aroused by his words.

"Python wants a good wipe down after. Please get Python good and dirty with that juice you got Michonne. Put your juices all over it, Baby."

"Baby?" Michonne questioned still breathless. This term of endearment during sex was new.

"Yes. You are my baby. I want you to have my baby. I want you to be ready, Michonne." Rick's voice was husky with desire.

"I'm not ready, but I want to be ready. Practice like this. Let's keep practicing. Python knows I will want it to hit Right...There!" Michonne gave two quick pelvic jerks that had Rick falter for a split second. He groaned deep trying to stave off his impending climax.

Rick had to slow down. He had to stop with just the tip inside, bracing Michonne to not move, he needed time for the urgency of completion to subside.

"Python knows you aren't ready for a baby. But he loves when you are bent over like this...Oh my God like that. Oh...shit...I slipped too far in Michonne. Damn, I have to slow down, or I am..." Rick lost control and began humping, drawing Michonne close to him, his chest pressed against her back, bringing her upright but propped on his throbbing and ready to explode pipeline of life while she suddenly and unexpectedly began pussy farting. For Rick, this was the sound of Trumpets. Orgasms approaching and Michonne was in the lead.

Michonnes feet barely touched the floor, "Walk us over to the bed, Rick. Don't lose our connection. I don't want to wipe Python down when we haven't finished." Michonne commanded.

"Don't you dare cum, Michonne." Rick could feel the tremors from Michonne's walls before he could get her out of the closet and back onto the bed. He wanted doggy style but with them, both getting their happy ending at the same time.

"Too late. " Michonne whispered after the experience wrecked her psyche over and over again.

Rick kept his Dick buried deep. He had Michonne propped and still in position making sure her leg was bent just right before he began again.

"Since you are a bad girl I am going to have to destroy this chocolate chip cookie."

"You have already nibbled on my cookie only right to make it crumble... You know you like your cookie wet when you nibble on it."

"Damn, I do. Damn, I do. When I'm done, I'm going to eat my cookie again." Rick was quickly tormented whether or not to tear himself from ejaculating within seconds to burying his face in Michonnes swollen goodness gracious.

Michonne noticed that Rick's cell phone was still on, and it puzzled her. The light was dim on the phone but the length of time it was on was 1:12 minutes and counting. One hour and twelve minutes?

The sound of skin slapping against skin lessened, and Rick's eyes were slightly closed and rolling in the back of his head. He saw stars, planets, constellations, spaceships, new worlds. He didn't notice Michonne with his cellphone to her ear as he called out and grunted her name continuously.

"Hello?" Michonne spoke softly on the phone.

* * *

"I keep thinking back and wondering why in the hell did we both respond to Michonne when she said, _'Hello?'"_

Sasha shook her head, closing her eyes at how the riff could have been avoided if they had just hung up the damn phone. Peeping Tom. Eaves Dropping perverts. Ughh.

"That was a month ago, Sasha," Daryl remarked.

"She's not over it, Daryl." Sasha insisted.

"I ain't over the shit either. Never crossed my mind to eat you out after I have to nut up in you." Daryl glanced around to see if anyone was close enough to overhear their inappropriate conversation inside of the store that Sasha dragged him to under false pretenses.

"He said it, but we will never know if he actually did because she caught us listening." Sasha reminded her attention were on the X-Small rack versus the Small rack.

" The first 20 minutes-"

"That was the longest sex session I ever listened to in my life." Sasha cut Daryl off.

"That much foreplay? He does a lot of talking." Daryl's question was rhetorical. His statement was a criticism.

"I wish you would talk more."

"Bullshit. We fucking what we're conversing for? I don't want all that talking. You talk enough for the both of us. You want me to go faster? I go faster? You want me to stop sucking your breast and kiss your stomach, I do that. I am following instructions I ain't got nothing to say other than take off your clothes and open those legs."

"Sometimes I wonder if all men are like you Daryl and then I peep Rick and know it isn't true."

"What works for one relationship don't work for all relationships. You are not going to hear me refer to my hot lava lamp as a chocolate chip cookie."

Sasha sighed.

"I wonder what Michonne is working with to make him aroused to keep going. I would have been tired after the first 10 minutes." Daryl admitted.

"What are you saying?"

"He has to be taking Viagra," Daryl stated simply.

"If that is what he is doing, please get a couple from him." Sasha quipped.

"The hell you saying, woman?"

"When was the last time we gone that long, Daryl?"

"Never."

"Five minutes or less, lately."

"Who's complaining?"

Sasha eyed her husband who was dangerous. He was not complaining.

"We got caught watching them have sex, and now listening to them have sex, Sasha. Whatever you need to do to make things right with Michonne, you do it. You know her well enough. If you think a gift from this store will help, I am here to say this has got to be a long shot." He leaned against the rack of small items that hung by color and size that he had no interest in regardless of how his wife tried to engage him.

"Rick isn't still angry with you?"

"Rick wasn't happy about it. He no longer can have his cell phone in the bedroom. He lost all cell phone privileges. I apologized to him and to Michonne even though she hung up on my face. He got over it. The man is literally glad that he is able to still have sex often. He was afraid it meant a drought with us listening in on them."

"Am I a pervert, Daryl?" Sasha asked her husband. She was accused again by Michonne of being one. Pervert.

"You asking me?"

"I know. One pervert to another." Sasha sighed again as she compared one small shirt against another. She had to decide on a gift to win back her friend or at least be forgiven.

"They have a house phone. He told Lori that if it is an emergency to call the house phone. He isn't picking up his cell in the middle of the night. No calls unless Emergency only."

"Can you imagine Michonne, a mother?"

"Can you imagine life as her child?"

"I am not going to answer that until you can tell me whether or not I am a pervert."

"My yes would mean you could picture Michonne as a mother and that is Bullshit."

"Pick a shirt or dress?" Sasha held the two up for Daryl to choose. Both items had the word, Prince.

"I thought you said it was a boy?" Daryl was extremely confused.

* * *

Impulse control.

I had to keep busy now that I've added to our family unexpectedly and the look on Rick's face had me worried when he walked through the door. I had on gloves that reached my elbows and a face mask that covered my nose and mouth. Rick was concerned, and it was evident in his eyes and how he took me in as a detective at a crime scene. I wasn't holding a smoking gun, a bloody knife or weapon of any kind, I was carrying a brand new, unused kitty litter scooper and Cheesy was rubbing his body against my leg. Meow.

"What in the hell?"

"I agree. I don't think I can clean litter boxes. I need to buy the self-cleaning and then maybe you can dump it. We can keep the litter box out in the garage or maybe the laundry room?"

"What in the hell is it?" Rick's eyes never left the feline that was purring loudly, marking me and everything within inches of me. He had on his blue shirt from Sasha that said, Prince.

"Cheesy. Cheesy is a Sphynx. Hairless. I can't deal with hair and all the shedding."

"His shirt indicates his name is Prince."

"His name is Cheesy. He always looks like he is a cheesing first thing in the morning because he is just staring at you to wake up."

"Is IT normal?"

"Is this how you are going to be when we have a baby?" I was optimistic about our future family even though I wasn't pregnant.

"Our baby is not going to look like it has a severe bout of mange."

"Sphynx are hairless by design." I'm informed.

"Evil too? Where the hell did you get him from?"

"Cheesy isn't evil. Are you saying that because he is black?" I became defensive.

"I would say the same thing if he was white, Michonne. I would say it if he were pink. A hairless cat isn't natural, and it's creepy as fuck." Rick responded back honestly.

"I had him while I lived in Japan."

"What happened?"

"In Japan fleas aren't a big problem compared to here in the United States. When Cheesy and I arrived within a few days, I noticed. I saw a flea and lost my mind. It was over a year ago, now. He had them, and I couldn't cope, so I gave him to a breeder to keep under a temporary arrangement. I got him back. He still remembers me."

"Michonne, I don't understand what you are trying to tell me here. I am really trying to understand."

"If I can deal with head lice, I need to deal with fleas. Precaution, Rick. I need to practice being a mother, but you are going to have to help me."

"Well, it's illegal to give away your child to another mother because the child has head lice."

"I thought you were going to help me, Rick. I don't plan to raise a child alone. I need your help."

"I am not a mother, Michonne. I think it has to come naturally."

The tone of his voice dripped of displeasure. It wasn't lost on me at all.

"I don't have your kids often enough to know what is natural and what is verbal guidance from you or them," I responded back honestly.

"When you are with my kids you are great, Michonne." Rick tried to help me with my lack of confidence.

"He's my cat." I asserted.

"I don't like cats, Michonne," Rick spoke just as forcefully.

"What?" I was surprised more with him going toe to toe with me.

I had never considered that Rick didn't like cats or animals in general. I never could have a pet as a kid and by the time I became an adult I got one on a whim and the whole experience became overwhelming, and Mike helped. Mike liked cats and thought Cheesy was pretty cool and interacted with the animal even though he wasn't attached due to continuous deployment.

Tears had left my eyes before I knew they were being shed. These tears were not meant to persuade nor to manipulate. This was an uncontrollable reaction to conflict and a flood of memories from the past. I was frozen in place, and Rick kicked his shoes off at the door and immediately took the litter scooper from my hand along with my gloves.

"Remove the face mask, Michonne."

I did as told. I was no longer hyperventilating. I could breathe, but I struggled with having control of my mind, my thoughts, my words.

"Where in the hell do you want these things stored, laundry room or Garage?"

"Where ever," I said dismissively.

I would find out later where he officially placed the litter box, and he made no mention of where he was going to put them in the interim. He came back into the living room to find me sobbing, still standing in the same spot. I was having a meltdown, and he was allowing me to have it before he came any closer. I had to calm down. My medication, plus my hormones had me out of whack.

"I want you to tell me if you are going to be able to handle a cat? A cat is not our baby nor will it ever be. I'm not of the mind of equating animals with humans. I am not trying to be callous with you, Michonne but I am going to speak plain. I like coming home because it seemed we have established a routine. The place is clean. Things are in order the way you like things and the way I don't mind things. You are a great cook, and the sex is amazing between us. You are good with my kids, and I know you've been itching to get back to work or be more active outside the home. Then you bring a cat? You introduce a cat to this equation, and I don't know how much more clean you can get this place because the cat just puked a hairball-"

"He doesn't have hair."

"Okay he puked his Friskies, or he tracked kitty litter-" Cheesy was now rubbing against and weaving in between Rick's legs.

"He is baby wipe trained." I informed.

"Wipes?"

"His paws. He likes his paws wiped when he is done with the litter box."

"You trained the cat?"

"He only likes certain litter. He doesn't like to be dirty. He loves a good wipe down every day with a little bit of oil. All pet safe of course. He doesn't mind a bath. He prefers the water warm, and I have his own bathing container. Cheesy is very particular about a lot of things and-"

"The cat has OCD too?"

* * *

I needed someone to talk to, and I only had one friend, and she was a former friend that handed me a gift to make amends. She knew everything about me, including what sex would look and sound like with me involved. She also brought a cake that she baked, chocolate with peanut butter frosting. My favorite.

"You never told him, Michonne?"

"No."

"Why?"

"He just assumed I would work in retail. He told me yesterday he talked to a woman named Tara who's a manager at a 10 or less store."

"He really has no clue?"

"I have never been in a 10 or less store. He purchased me a dress from there, and all I could do was stare at it."

"He really has no clue."

"I put it on for him and wore it around the house. We went to the movies. He loves me in a dress. I wore it even though it made me itch."

"Do you think it was really an allergy Michonne or your, OCD or better yet your label snobbery?"

"No, really I am allergic to Rayon."

"What?"

"It makes my skin crawl. I get hives. He gave me a good rub down with Benadryl Ointment."

"You should have told him, Michonne. Your health is important. Allergies included. Plus, Rick is from this small hick town. He's not from the big city, and once you tell him you have a law degree, he will stop pointing you in directions of employment where you are overqualified. He doesn't realize the reason he likes certain dresses is that they are expensive as hell."

"Rick likes them because they look good on me."

"From what I can hear he likes a lot of other things."

"Sasha."

"I am dying to know, Michonne. Please...Please...Please!"

"No."

"Sex always that long? I mean don't you get tired?"

"No."

"No as in you don't get tired, or No we aren't talking about this?"

"Yes."

"Oh my god, Michonne! I will tell you anything."

"I don't ask. I don't want to know."

"But I would tell you that sex between Daryl and me isn't nowhere acrobatic or verbal."

"So what do you two do? Just grunt and moan in missionary?"

"Just about. He says my name when he is about to, you know and I say his name to make him think he did something in that short period."

"Does he need a breather and then you go at it later?"

"No. He's done for the rest of the night. Sometimes I am too." Sasha admitted.

"Oh," I replied. This wasn't a conversation that I was eager to have with Sasha in the beginning, but here we were having the talk. My Bigmama always warned me about talking about sex with your man to another woman. I was throwing caution to the wind.

"Oh, what?"

"I am going to ask Rick to stay quiet other than making sex sounds like a moan, grunt, pant but he can't use words. Same for me."

"Really?"

"Michonne, wherein the organized hell did you put the key to my navy trunk? I need to get the photo book out to refresh Daryl's memory about the guy that was in our Barracks." Rick stepped into the living room where I was sitting with Sasha on the leather sofa.

"It is in the closet next to the never mind. I will get it because you will mess up the order."

I stood to leave the living room, having to pass Rick who tapped my ass playfully, remarking with any shame, "I will show you order, my pretty lady."

"I'll be right back." I winked at him and his one track mind.

* * *

Rick stood for a second dazed by Michonne's teasing half smile. He knew something was up by the way she eyed him with a longer than usual focus on his slightly twitching Python. Rick was also concerned when Michonne had left the living room, and it was just him and Sasha. Sasha wore a look on her face that he read one of two things from, she was either unwell, or she wanted his Python too.

Sasha appeared to be in a trance, and it made Rick's Python confused and frightened. He hoped to god she was actually sick.

"Are you okay, Sasha?" Rick had asked.

"What?"

Sasha tried to fight the pull of attraction. She was attracted to Rick, and it was sudden and heart-stopping. Lust.

* * *

A/N:

03/10/2019 11:04pm This has been brutal trying to correct errors before posting an update to this story.

Original A/N

Still writing. Thank you to all those who always follow this story and my other ones because you enjoy endless randomness like I do. Thanks again! Oh to the Guest, I agree Daryl isn't very sympathetic, and I plan to show a little more of what's happening with Daryl and Sasha in the next two chapters which will always include glimpses of Rick and Michonne.

P.S.

Reason for odd delivery of smut was to indicate or give the reader an idea what Daryl and Sasha were listening to and based on distance, shape, position, repositioning the various sounds that could be heard. Would it be erotic as a reader to listen to this? Something to ponder versus grunts and moans. For Sasha, the experience changes her psyche. I know for Fanfic nothing should be that deep. LOL but that was my intention as I add this note after the fact.


	28. Water Bottles Causes Infidelity?

_"There is a particular kind of pain, elation, loneliness, and terror involved in this kind of madness. When you're high it's tremendous. The ideas and feelings are fast and frequent like shooting stars, and you follow them until you find better and brighter ones. Shyness goes, the right words and gestures are suddenly there, the power to captivate others a felt certainty. There are interests found in uninteresting people. Sensuality is pervasive and the desire to seduce and be seduced irresistible. Feelings of ease, intensity, power, well-being, financial omnipotence, and euphoria pervade one's marrow. But, somewhere, this changes. The fast ideas are far too fast, and there are far too many; overwhelming confusion replaces clarity. Memory goes. Humor and absorption on friends' faces are replaced by fear and concern. Everything previously moving with the grain is now against- you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and enmeshed totally in the blackest caves of the mind. You never knew those caves were there. It will never end, for madness carves its own reality."  
_ **― Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness**

* * *

My uncontrollable compulsion developed rapidly. I was lusting after my friend's man. Plain and simple. It got to the point I couldn't control my constant thoughts, fantasies and silly excuses to show up at his job while he was working and eventually their home when Michonne started back to work.

I tried to fight my thoughts. I spent a lot of time talking to myself in my car or alone in the bathroom when Daryl was passed out from our 5-minutes of lovemaking. I masturbated more than usual. I kept telling myself to order a dildo. I felt an insatiable ache my own fingers could not satisfy.

It's been so long since I felt this type of longing for someone and when he stepped inside my small restaurant in his deputy uniform, I found myself more attracted to him. I felt dizzy with want, heart palpitations like a young girl who's crush was quickly approaching from the opposite end of the school hallway.

Daryl was usually bussing the tables. The contrast between the man with a gun-belt and the man with a tray of dirty plates and cups with a rag draped over his shoulder was more pronounced than ever. My imagination had taken over and created a version of Rick Grimes that I was hell-bent on having for myself ever since I witnessed the way he moved with Michonne above him on the couch that day.

Lust happens unexpectedly. I was exposed, felt the symptoms and realized gradually how infidelity creeps in and takes hold. But it takes two to tango.

Looking back I imagined Rick being great in bed. It wasn't anything more than that for me. I did think he was way more helpful than Daryl, and he was a good listener.

I couldn't help but notice how Rick treated Michonne like a queen. Whatever Michonne wanted he would bend over backward, Daryl, on the other hand, would need to know what was in it for him to take out the trash without being told.

My constant staring was getting embarrassing. Rick began to ask me if I was okay. He would ask me about Daryl. No matter what I wanted to discuss, Rick would refer me to either Michonne to talk about it or take it up with my husband.

"Sasha?"

Lori was surprised to see her former friend in her ex-husband's home.

"Lori?"

Sasha held the door open wide enough for Rick's children to step inside along with his Ex-wife.

"What are you doing in Rick's house?"

Lori wanted answers, especially with seeing the white Mercedes absent from the driveway. There was only Rick's newly acquired silver pickup truck parked outside, and the reason for Sasha to be alone in the home was pertinent information.

"Offering to help out now that Michonne has gone back to work. I was just about to ask Rick if he wanted me to help out with anything when the neighbor came by asking for his help."

"Help for what?"

The moment Sasha opened her mouth to respond Carl had begun scolding his mother.

"Mom, you can't wear shoes past this point," Carl informed his mother sternly.

"Your father's girlfriend isn't here. I am NOT taking my shoes off." Lori continued to walk past the foyer with her sandals.

"Ooooh, she is going to be really mad." Jude covered her mouth and jumped in excitement at the possibility of seeing an upset Ms. Michonne because that meant she could be a little helper and assist with cleaning.

"It's not just Ms. Michonne that likes our shoes off at the door, Mom. Dad likes it that way too. He wants it that way. Dad is going to be very upset with you," Carl warned.

"How in the heck is he going to know that I had my shoes on in the house?" Lori asked with her hands firmly planted on her hips as she walked around inspecting how the home was actually clean and orderly.

"We. Are. Going. To. Tell!" An excited squeal escaped Jude when she spoke each word.

"Well, it may not matter since your father has another woman here while his girlfriend is at work." Lori cast a glance at a guilty looking Sasha who now stood in the foyer entry as if to make a quick escape.

"I'm not sure what you are trying to imply, but really the neighbor had just come by to ask Rick to help him lift a washer into the house next door."

Rick's sudden return into his home did not ease the awkwardness in the air. If anything his presence alone made it more palpable.

Rick quickly inspected every sock covered foot and froze when his eyes landed on the sandals that were now strolling towards the sofa area.

"There is a no shoe policy here, Lori," Rick informed.

Lori shrugged.

"For the love of GOD why are you walking around this house with your shoes?"

Rick was now visibly upset as he waited for an answer knowing that nothing from Lori would have made any sense. Her inability to respect his desire or the wishes of the woman of his house kept the animosity between them from ever reconciling. Lori was just plain disrespectful.

Rick went ahead and kicked off his shoes next to his children by the front door with hopes that Sasha would start to put hers on and be on her way.

Sasha had begun to be a minor nuisance compared to the other woman that stomped all over the no shoe policy as if it did not apply to her.

Rick could only imagine how far Lori sandals had trampled throughout the front of the house.

Out of nowhere, Cheesy jumped on top of the imported Italian Leather Sofa remaining propped like a Sleek statue.

The cat had startled Lori.

"A cat Rick?"

"Yes. A cat."

"You don't like Cats, Rick."

"I only like Michonnes cat," Rick spoke literally in hopes Sasha would catch the figuratively.

Sasha caught it and felt uncomfortable about her reason for being there more than she cared to admit. Her very own motives were apparent. She wasn't going to reiterate her offer to cook for him and his children with Lori standing there. Sasha wanted to die when Rick did.

"Thanks but no thanks, Sasha. Michonne would know someone was in her kitchen just like she is going to know that my ex-wife was in here. This house is Michonne's house. I want to make this clear to both of you and especially, Lori."

"Totally understand. I know you got it handled."

"Yes, he does. Rick knows how to cook. He doesn't need your help. Besides, your restaurant is calling you."

Lori tossed her jab. She had heard the rumors from people in their town describing how Sasha was coming on to Rick and showing up at his job offering him a pre-packed lunch on more than one occasion.

Rick sighed heavily. He appreciated Sasha for not dignifying Lori with a response while she put her shoes on. It was a slight relief. Slight because Lori had his nerves elevated. Rick knew without a shadow of a doubt his kids were going to tell Michonne everything. And Michonne then will turn and ask him to clarify the words from his children. Rick knew no one could clean up an intentional mess like the one Lori made until Lysol and bleach had the house practically choking its inhabitants.

Michonne would more than likely enlist him to help her clean not only the contaminated areas but the possibility of it having spread by stepping in and out of the invisible tracks that were left behind by the offender who was warned but didn't give a shit.

Once Michonne was made aware that street shoes have walked throughout the home they shared there would be no turning back. Their home will now be deemed a cleaning zone. Especially since Michonne considered Lori absolutely unfathomably dirty.

"You are definitely whipped." Lori scoffed at the thought of her husband and a cat. An odd-looking hairless cat at that! "To think I was under the impression that you and Sasha may have started up something. You know people are talking about you two may be messing around with each other."

This accusation surprised Carl who was briefly confused, "Do you like Sasha now?"

Rick attention was on his ex-wife, but his response was to anyone who was concerned or confused.

"I only like and love only one grown-up person and she ain't here because she started back to work." Rick's words removed any doubt from his son, and he had hoped those very same words removed it from the room.

"Ms. Michonne says she is going to show us where she works!" Judith tugged her Dad's shirt for a response to what wasn't phrased as a question. Seeing her Dad nod was reassuring that nothing had changed,

Carl was glad nothing had changed between his Dad and Ms. Michonne, and he too was excited by the prospect of going into a big office in the nearby city.

"Michonne has said she will. And you two know the only woman I like and love, isn't one to say things she doesn't mean." Rick reaffirmed.

Rick ruffled his son's hair and took hold of his daughter's hand with the other after he opened the front door for the two women eventually exit.

* * *

"Hi, Rick."

"Hey, Sasha?" Rick eyed the container, and then he glanced at Sasha utterly confused.

"I figured it's lunch-time." She offered her reasoning for coming down to the station in hopes he would relax and make less of a scene.

It hadn't dawned on Sasha that everyone nearby was watching them. They could see her heart eyes for Rick and little did she know she had gone from subtle to overt. Plain obvious.

"You didn't have to, Sasha...I didn't ask for this."

Rick made sure he could be heard by anyone who was listening and or watching. His eyes fell back to the container and then back to Sasha. He stared directly into her eyes to garner if she had indeed lost her mind.

"I know. But it's your favorite, and I know Michonne would want me to make sure you had lunch now that she is back to work."

"Michonne made plenty from the night before. I am satisfied."

"A fresh sandwich." Sasha countered her offer against leftovers.

Shane's voice boomed in the room aiming to do nothing but embarrass Sasha more than she could imagine.

"Your restaurant delivering now?"

Shane wanted to know what those who were present were curious about. He was reclining way back in his seat taking in the situation that had been going on for a couple of weeks.

"Well-" Sasha was flustered.

"How's Daryl doing by the way? Does he know you are giving out Sandwiches?"

"Don't act like I haven't given you a sandwich a couple of times, Shane." Sasha quipped back.

"Well, where's my Sandwich today?" Shane asked. "Where's Abe's, Glenn, Heath's, T-Dogg's, Morgan over in the corner, Sheriff Herschel's?"

Rick quickly got up from his seat taking the container placed in front of him that had the Sandwich he liked, the way he wanted a sandwich made, without opening to inspect, he carried it over to Shane's desk and plopped it down unceremoniously.

"Stuff your fucking mouth with this Sandwich." Rick instructed Shane before turning to the woman that was determined to turn his life upside down permanently, "Sasha, come outside with me." Rick didn't ask. He commanded.

Every ear could have heard a pin drop at that moment. Rick's coworkers were amused and suspicious of Sasha's intentions but never questioned Rick's integrity and faithfulness to the woman he strutted around town with like he was a red rooster. Michonne.

Sasha did not compare.

Sasha hesitantly followed Rick out of the station and into the parking lot. She wanted to snatch the Styrofoam container from Shane. There was a note that was for Rick's eyes only. Inside.

Rick was pissed.

Sasha was embarrassed.

"What the fuck?" Rick turned to confront Sasha when it was a safe enough distance to do so. "What kind of friend are you to Michonne?"

"A damn good one if I am making sure you have lunch because that sandwich was for you. That wasn't for asshole, Shane."

"That sandwich like every other sandwich you have personally delivered here I have given to someone else after you have left. I am making it known to you; I don't want it. Do you understand what I am saying to you, Sasha? I don't want it."

"I was just-" Every sandwich? Sasha began to wonder how many people were aware of her little notes.

"The only reason I hadn't gone to Daryl sooner, I wasn't sure how much was my imagination. I thought I was reading you wrong. I'd figured it was all in my head but things are becoming more apparent, and I'd be damn if you set Michonne and me back seven steps in her 12 step to how clean can things be in her recovery program. Not on my watch you won't, Sasha. I am not going to allow it to happen." Rick said impassioned.

"Why would you even say anything to Daryl? It's not like we have done anything. I haven't done-"

"I need Daryl to reel you the fuck in," Rick said pointing his finger into Sasha's shoulder.

* * *

"Oh my God, there he is." Michonne instantly became a school girl right before Sasha's eyes. They were walking along Blue Street in the direction of the military base in Japan.

"He who?" Sasha questioned.

Sasha frowned at the empty water bottle that she had in her purse. The two women were passing by another randomly placed outdoor vending machine and Sasha was entirely out of Yen. She was thirsty, and the massive heaviness produced by the Sun did not help the situation. She eyed the water bottle that Michonne carried that was half full.

"Him."

Sasha eyed the group of military men that were dressed in their blue NWUs. She quickly recognized two of the men and one of them bine Rick.

"Please tell me you aren't still going on about Lori's husband?"

"Why does he keep looking at me?" Michonne cast her eyes down in the opposite direction of the men that they were nearing as they got closer to the military base.

"Like I told you before, Michonne it's probably because you are looking at him. He's wondering if you are well?"

"If I am well?" Michonne's back stiffened, and she stood more erect if that was even possible as she walked her runway strut in her open-toe heels. Her mind wondered if she was giving off that impression and if so she would do better at disguising her lustful glances.

"I was over at their townhouse the other day, and the strangest thing happened."

"What was that?"

"He was asking me about you. In a round about way. I saw through it. I knew exactly what he was doing. I wasn't born yesterday."

"He was asking about me?"

"He was trying to be slick about it."

"What did you tell him?"

"I didn't tell him much."

"What did he want to know?"

"He wanted to know how we met. How long we've know each other. Where do we go when we leave the base."

"Doesn't sound like he was asking about much. More like making small talk."

"Michonne, it was the most he has ever said to me. He normally keeps it Hey Sasha! Where's Daryl? See ya around!. Either way I didn't tell him anything because really it isn't any of his business. You are an officer's wife. Period."

"What else was he asking?"

"Just a lot of random things that seemed to lead up to you. It was kind a weird knowing what I know and being there waiting for his wife to get their kids put to bed."

"Why were you over there?"

"We were going to Girls hour at the neighbors together."

"Oh."

"He likes your dresses. Wanted to know where do you find them."

"Oh my God, please let me get my ID card out. I can't stand to not be ready when I should be ready. I have to be ready. I have to be ready. Hold this, Sasha. Hold this."

Michonne tried to control her OCD that Sasha was getting glimpses of but it wasn't officially declared at the time due to inconsistencies in her behavior.

Sasha held the water bottle while Michonne quickly grabbed her Identification card that gave her access on and off the United States Military Installation.

There was a noticeable reaction to Michonne's face, a visible change in her demeanor when she finally had her ID card that contrasted to her next response while watching in horror when Sasha tipped back her water and all lips drank from her bottle.

"Are you crazy?" Michonne asked.

"What?" The two women stood there just a few feet from the group of military men that were now talking with Japanese police about a stolen bike situation near the entry to the base.

"Where's your own water?"

"Gone. I drank it all."

"Why didn't you get more?"

"I ran out of money. I don't have anymore Yen."

"I do. If you had spoken up, I would have offered to buy you a bottle, but I would have never ever offered for you to drink from my bottle." Michonne revealed honestly.

"It makes no sense to buy a bottle really if you have water Michonne and can share."

"I would have thought you would have the mind to ask so I could tell you, NO."

"I am okay with your germs if you have any, Michonne. The way you keep house, I know you are pretty clean."

"I happen to be very clean. Extremely clean. Excessively. I will not drink after you, Sasha. I will not." Michonne stated emphatically.

"You have something against my germs?"

"I don't even drink after Mike," Michonne informed.

"Michonne, are you really that upset?" Sasha screwed the cap back onto the water bottle. Michonne was visibly taking the situation to a level unprecedented between them.

"Do you know what my Bigmama says about a woman that could put her lips to another woman's bottle?" Michonne's hands were on her hips.

Before Sasha could receive the answer, Rick and Shane were making their way over to them to make sure things were okay based on their volume after one of the Japanese officials stayed to observe the military members handle the situation.

Michonne instead hurried towards the gate while Sasha remained to talk to the two enlisted that approached.

Rick was slyly focused on Michonne who he had hoped would remain and not take off the way she did. He was slightly disheartened by not having an opportunity to innocently engage her in conversation. Rick waited while Shane continued to chit chat with Sasha about the future ship movement to Hong Kong. Rick continued to watch the woman he lusted after reach security, show her ID and gain entry behind the gates. He watched until she was no longer visible for his viewing pleasure.

Rick was recently assigned to the same ship that would deploy to Hong Kong two months later.

* * *

A/N:  
This has been brutal trying to correct errors or change certain nuances. Checked for errors 03/10/2019 10:34pm

Original A/N

Behind schedule. Hope you enjoy the twist and turns. Sorry for the knots. Michonne really does have friends. I will reveal who they are soon and why her twisted logic had her walk away from them. Daryl is up next. All is not lost.


	29. Michonne Works Where?

_"I remember one desolate Sunday night, wondering: Is this how I´m going to spend the rest of my life? Married to someone who is perpetually distracted and somewhat wistful, as though a marvelous party is going on in the next room, which but for me he could be attending?"  
_ **― Suzanne Finnamore **

* * *

Our restaurant was failing. I tried my best to be a good husband to Sasha. Supportive. Shit wasn't easy when you are always feeling berated for the smallest of things. I knew she was disappointed but the type of place she wanted and had wasn't meant for the hick town we were in and we were going under fast if we didn't make some reasonable changes.

How did I know shit was off? I found out Sasha was bringing sandwiches down to the station. Customers got the word and began calling for delivery and advanced order because they got the impression that we were offering an option other than having to dine inside.

Yeah. Sasha was taking sandwiches down to the station a few times for everyone and then it was just for my friend Rick. I confronted Sasha about it. I did it in a roundabout way asking her why people would think we had a delivery service and she just shrugged.

Rick called me. I almost didn't answer his call. I was stressed out trying to figure out how Sasha and I were going to keep the little restaurant going and still keep a roof over our heads and to top things off our back up cook had just quit.

Anything that comes out of Rick's mouth, I have to believe is the truth. I let it marinate in my brain longer than I should. What I didn't need was for Shane to make a beeline to my home while Sasha was out. Shane wanted to show me the note that was attached to the half of a sandwich. He ate the other half. I didn't need Shane to tell me some shit, and then Michonne shows up ready to drag my wife from around the counter. The dinner was unusually packed that day. I felt nothing but eyes. Eyes were everywhere but yet we had a sign up saying we're closed and I immediately tell Michonne.

"We are closed."

"I don't give a shit."

"Michonne?"

"Where's your wife?"

"Where's Rick?" I was nervous. A pissed off Michonne is a frightening sight to behold. The way Lori looked after a beat down from Michonne, there was no way I was going to allow her to get to Sasha. No Way!

"Daryl if you don't move out my way I will fuck you up." Michonne stood at the diner counter.

"Michonne. I am not going to let you do it. I am not going to let you beat my wife like you beat Rick's wife, Lori in Japan. I-"

That woman had me in a chokehold so fast I was gasping for air. Michonne was breathing heavy in my ear.

My eyes flew open. I was in my bedroom. I didn't recognize where I was until the ceiling became clearer inside of our manufactured home. The slow realization that it was just a dream was a relief.

Sasha's was next to me, playing with herself. Her eyes were closed. I guess she didn't realize I had awakened. Her breathing was what was in my ear. Heavy.

I can't speak for other men, but the thought of losing my wife was hard to think about, and it hurt like hell. It was more than sex, and somehow we became incompatible because her mind wasn't right. Her mind had to be with me, and it wasn't. I began talking back with Carol some nights on the phone. Catching up on things. Carol had started calling me out of the blue. Funny how exes come out of the woodwork.

I surprised Sasha that night though. I helped finish her off more than I would have ever done before. I didn't ask for my own release. I didn't want it. Just wanted my Sasha to be satisfied. That morning I surprised her again. I packed my bags and left.

* * *

"Michonne is an actual lawyer?"

"Benton is on the sign believe it or not. Right on the building and door."

"Get out of here," Daryl really believed Rick was joking at first.

"I have never been to a set up like it. Every office is made of glass except a couple of them, and there is one guy you have to take your shoes off to step inside. A few of them wear gloves and-."

"There's more people like Michonne that work for her?" Daryl asked.

"Work for her, with her. She isn't the only name on the door. Some of them are associates."

"What happened?"

"That is for Michonne to tell you if she wants you to know, but she works with a woman named Andrea who has cleaning rituals with her hands, well I will let Andrea tell you what her thing happens to be if-"

"Are you trying to fix me up you son of a bitch?" Daryl was instantaneously suspicious.

"What the hell? Aren't you trying to work shit out with Sasha?" Rick was surprised by the accusation.

"Nah. Sasha is trying to work shit out with me." Daryl corrected Rick's assertions.

"I was only mentioning Andrea because she is looking for a handyman. If you are really back to the Handy business, she is looking for someone that can follow the rules if you come inside her place."

"Oh," Daryl responded quietly.

"How's the restaurant?"

"Our restaurant doing better. Things picking up. We had to add delivery."

"Are you still staying by Shane's?"

"Yeah. He toned down a lot. Not the same Shane."

"Lori has a way of doing that to a man."

"Still can't believe you haven't kicked his ass."

"I am not going to fight over Lori, about Lori or around Lori."

"I know you would fight over Michonne," Daryl said with certainty.

"I will fight to protect Michonne. I can't imagine any fair fight where I was trying to keep her from walking away from me. That would kill me. I would be no good to anyone if Michonne left me."

"I had to leave Sasha. The only thing I could think to do to get her to wake up and maybe fight for me. I know you don't want Sasha and there was no funny business involved. I know that. I believe it. You-"

"You know I would never-"

"Anyone with any sense could see you only got eyes for Michonne. I would say anyone with two eyes, but my Sasha saw y'all shit with her own two eyes and still thought she had a chance with you in the sack, so I say sense."

"I had to tell you." Rick swallowed hard.

"A few other people after you had to tell me too. A couple of them had got her note that was meant for you including Shane. Shane was one of them. I appreciate you telling me most of all."

"I would never, you know."

"You ain't the problem, Rick. The problems lie in if you were willing, Sasha would have been ready. I asked her did she give any thought about Michonne."

"What she say?"

"No. Sasha said it had nothing to do with Michonne or wanting what Michonne had it was just some bullshit about desire and feeling alive. I went deaf. Marriage counseling is tough. Listening is fucking exhausting. You said you and Lori used Deanna's services?"

"A waste of fucking time and money. I wasn't trying to stay with Lori. You are trying to stay with Sasha, right?"

"Why do you keep saying the shit the way you do? She wants to get me to stay with her. She is trying to get back with me. What I look like staying with a woman envying shit that is going on over here? She thinks shit worked out for Michonne in the end. The Chaos. You still trying to hold shit together keeping Michonne safe and shit like you got a fortress around this damn house and there are monsters at the gates trying to break it down and whisk Michonne on up out of here."

"I won't tell you not to fight for your marriage. Deanna's good. My marriage wasn't what I wanted to work on, but I do know even though I was broken, I was going to take some of that stuff I learned and be really good to Michonnne."

"We will get through this. How's Michonne taking it?"

"I had to tell, Michonne," Rick admitted.

"How'd she take it?"

"She shrugged talking about she wasn't surprised because people show you who they are if they drink from your water bottle without asking."

* * *

"Daryl, please don't leave," Sasha begged that morning.

"Why would I stay, Sasha?"

"We can work through this, I promise."

"I ask you to give me a reason to stay, and you can't give me any? You got to want to work through this Sasha. Not me."

"Daryl-"

"I know there is a saying about not to hold on to someone that ain't holding on to you, but I will be damned if I wait around for you to walk out on me."

"I'm not letting go of you, Daryl. I am right here. I am not leaving you. I am here." Sasha cried out her plea.

"Your body is here, Sasha." Daryl pointed to his temple, "But you checked out here," He then pointed to his heart, "And you trying to break this. I ain't got time for it. Rick's my motherfucking friend, and I thought, Michonne was your friend, Sasha."

Sasha was in tears. She was sobbing, and her thoughts were as incoherent as her words. She didn't expect the confrontation. Not first thing in the morning. Not after all the foreplay and oral, he performed on her.

"I am not going to fight for this marriage, Sasha. You are going to have to fight for me."


	30. It Was Germ Warfare and More

" _Lunatics are similar to designated hitters. Often an entire family is crazy, but since an entire family can't go into the hospital, one person is designated as crazy and goes inside. Then, depending on how the rest of the family is feeling that person is kept inside or snatched out, to prove something about the family's mental health."_  
 **― Susanna Kaysen, Girl, Interrupted (Faber and Faber Screenplays) Screenplay based on the book**

* * *

Cheesy...

Every day that cat has been in our house I wake up with him staring in my face. The first few times I screamed bloody murder. I scared the fuck out of Michonne each time, and Cheesy just kept cheesing, slowly moving out of the way until I regained my composure.

 _Please leave the house and never come back why don't you?_

The cat has been able to read my mind, but he didn't make a move to leave.

 _Are you hungry for moist or dry today? Your water is too cold you say? You need me to wipe down your pet bowl mat again because you see a speck of dried moist? You need me to open the door to the laundry room for the litter box huh? You expect me to do what with your paws?_

I held the front door open for him to wander out and he was frozen in the foyer watching me step out to go to the mailbox. All throughout the house, he followed me. Outside he would not, even with the door left wide open. Indoor cat.

I was surprised coming back inside to find Michonne leaning against the wall with her arms crossed still dressed in my blue pajama top. This was highly unusual at this hour. At this hour she would have already halfway scrubbed the house perfuming the air with a hint of bleach. I guess the Lori shoe travel extensive cleaning had thrown my Michonne off schedule.

I wasn't going to bring attention to this fantastic improvement until it happened consistently or Michonne was aware of what she was capable of doing with or without acknowledgment. Her obsession seemed to be not having a baby, but yet preparing for one just in case she became ready.

Either way, I didn't want her to revert, and we hadn't discussed all of her triggers. I was going to privately celebrate the two hours in which she first woke up and did not clean the house that needed no cleaning.

I couldn't help but go right into Michonne's personal space after kicking off my shoes in which she watched intently for me to do. The envelopes were still in my hands, and I didn't bother to sort through them because I was distracted by this woman who I figured had no panties on, and if she did, I was ready to pull them down. There was something about her harden stance always softening the closer I stood to her, face to face, eye to eye. I love this beautiful woman with the darkest brown eyes I have ever stared into, and in the beginning, it unnerved me where I had to look away, not anymore.

"Cheesy doesn't go outside," Michonne informed.

"Cat has Agoraphobia?"

"My Bigmama has Agoraphobia. Cheesy knows there is nothing outside for him. Everything good is in this house. My cat is smart enough to know that. I was smart enough to listen to make sure he was neutered as soon as safe to do so to curb that tendency. Plus, I don't want him outside walking on the ground. He would need shoes for that, and the pajama's he wears to bed that covers his feet are not meant for outside so that you know."

"Everything you tell me about THIS cat I have never heard of about any cat. I have seen plenty of cats outside, trying to get outside or on a farm to keep rodents away. This hairless cat that likes a bath and wears pajamas at night is a rare fluke."

"Cheesy isn't a fluke. He is by design."

"I have no idea what you mean by that Michonne. I asked Glenn at work, and he wasn't too sure either other than it's a very cool looking cat and is very expensive."

"You're talking about Cheesy at work?"

"He's our first kid together, right?" I asked to verify how she wanted this story to play out for her mind to be right for an actual child.

"You are his play Step Dad." Michonne smiled.

Michonne's smile always to this day gave me momentary pause. To witness something as simple as a smile form on those lips represented Id finding and getting the right answer or response from Ego. Superego must have relented somehow. There was a story behind this pet thing, and I have been waiting for Michonne to share, other than as a kid she wasn't allowed to have a pet. It's been years since I had taken psychology in college before dropping out and I could have it all wrong, but I knew there was something in her brain connecting dots.

"No one has ever heard of a cat-like Cheesy. It's like having a kid that is a genius. Everyone wants their kid to be the smartest, but you show them a Cheesy they have to step back." I said proudly.

Michonne giggled.

The sound of Michonne laughing was equal to her smile. My heart always leaped from my chest because it was unexpected and very refreshing. She was doing it more often, and I wanted her to do it more than ever. Laugh with me. Enjoy me Michonne.

"You were the one telling me that you don't think of animals as you would-" Michonne was about to remind me.

"I say a lot of things. Plan to say a lot of things. Plan to readjust my way of thinking as time goes." Python was coming alive.

"Then why do you still have the door wide open? Why are you trying to see if our child will run away? Why are you trying to help him leave here?"

I was caught. Guilty.

That's a feeling I didn't like for one frigging second. Michonne sized me up real good, remaining soft, yielding. I had to tell her right then about Sasha. I had to.

"I've been having some trouble with Sasha."

"What kind of trouble?"

I should have practiced what to say because Michonne's reaction to things had the potential to cause a setback to how she handled other things.

"I had to have words with her."

"What type of words, Rick?"

"The kind that set things straight. Words that indicated I would never mess around on you, Michonne. Not with her. Not with anyone."

"How did it get to that point?"

"She was coming down to the station too often Michonne. First, it was sandwiches for everyone and then it was sandwiches for me. I didn't like that because I never asked her to do it. I told her to stop."

"What did you do with those sandwiches you didn't ask for?"

"I gave them to my co-workers to fight over. I had to eventually give one directly to Shane for her to get the picture."

"Serves her ass. That's what my Bigmama would say."

"Why aren't you mad? Why aren't you-"

"There were three times I was furious at Sasha. Three times. Once when she drank from my water bottle without asking, Second when she watched us through our living room window without telling us our curtains were open, Third when she listened to us have sex for over an hour. Three times. Mad! This time I am not mad; she wants what I got. Can't be mad at her over that. Daryl, on the other hand, has every reason to be very concerned."

"I told Daryl."

"Good. Daryl needs to reel Sasha the fuck in."

I eyed the woman that I was entirely in sync with, and she was in sync with me.

"I can't control, Python around you," I admitted.

I recognized this version of Michonne from Japan standing before me. Sexy siren.

"What is Python looking for?" Michonne asked allowing me to plant kisses where ever I wanted.

"Sound. Python wants to know when we are going to have words back to our lovemaking again?"

"Your kids are here, Rick!"

Michonne squealed after I had done a quick hand check by gripping her perfectly round derriere; she had on panties.

"They are still sleeping. You gave Carl and Judith a full non-stop day yesterday. They are recovering."

Carl was in absolute awe with everything law and Michonne's office dynamics. Jude loved that free candy at the receptionist desk with a sign indicated to use hand sanitizer before going into the candy bowl and again afterward just for precautions. Jude liked the feel of the Sanitizer, but she loved the taste of the variety of candy more.

"You aren't a minute man, Rick and your kids will not remain sleeping for much longer."

"Why did you come out of the bedroom dressed like this anyway?" I kissed her from her jaw down along her neck, pressing my arousal against her.

"Wanted to peek to see what you were doing. I have spidey senses you know."

"Truth, Michonne."

"My heart was racing. I wanted you to know that I was beginning to have a panic attack because I didn't start cleaning when I would usually start. I lasted two hours and 10 minutes, Rick."

"What stopped the panic attack, Michonne?"

"You had the front door open. I could see you by the mailbox. You came back."

* * *

There was something about this odd woman, but I didn't give any real notice to it. We were in Japan in some random hotel off base having the best sex ever. We were down to one water bottle, and it was mine. I had already taken a couple of swigs from it, and Michonne's was empty. She was thirsty, and we were a panting mess of sweaty limbs.

"Here, you can have mine." I offered.

"Yours?"

"Yeah."

I reached over from my tiny hotel nightstand and grabbed my bottle to hand over to her. It was slightly below room temperature.

She stared at me like something unusual was happening. She had stiffened even more sitting up staring down at me as if I had just spoken Japanese to her and she couldn't fathom what I had just said.

"I can get dressed to get my own."

"Why would you do that when I am offering you mine?"

"Why?"

"Aren't you thirsty?"

"Do you share with your wife?"

"Do you share with your husband?"

"No. I don't. I don't drink after Mike. Do you drink after, Lori?"

"Lori doesn't share shit. Her focus is on the kids and getting out of Japan as soon as possible to get back to her family and friends she grew up with in Georgia."

"You call it sharing?"

"What do you call it?"

Michonne shrugged. I didn't know she wanted to call it germ warfare. I didn't think she was trying to wager how contaminated I could be versus getting up and losing valuable seconds, minutes that we were trying to have together to have her water bottle, germ-free.

"Right now, Michonne I would give you my last drop of water if we found ourselves stranded on an Island together. I would. I feel deeply about it, and I can't fight it. I can't fight this thing we have going on for some time now. I don't drink after Lori, and I haven't in a very long time." I sat up and untwisted the cap for her and offered my bottle to her.

She drank from my bottle the way she did from our kisses, sometimes laced with nothing but the tongue, drifting down along my body to where I was the most aroused, licking and sucking until I could grunt no other name but hers, Michonne.

* * *

A/N: Correction Update 3/31/2019 10:21pm

Original Note:

A/N:

I meant to give a shout out to Vegas. Hey!

I hope this wasn't too disappointing for everyone regarding the Sasha angle. Weep.

This particular story is about the infidelity angle and friendship and how it is tested. Sasha never kissed Rick or had sex with him, does that end a friendship? Should it end their friendship? How do you control desire? Can desire be controlled once it latches to your core psyche? Things to ponder.

Anonymous Guest wrote about Public humiliation for Daryl...absolutely!

Another Anonymous Guest wrote about the quote regarding madness how it represented Rick with Jessie in the show...absolutely!

Alexis: Yes...this is what a woman will do when actively trying to take a man, confuse a man or cause confusion...absolutely!

I appreciate all reviews, thoughts or quiet stealth mode lurks...lol.


	31. Seasons

_"Perhaps he does not want to be friends with you until he knows what you are like. With owls, it is never easy-come-easy-go."_  
 **― T.H. White,** **The Sword in the Stone **

* * *

"You look like shit."

Rick didn't respond to the criticism of his outward appearance because he had this particular man on permanent ignore while he scanned the ice cream case inside of the local Walmart. The two men were still in Uniform one headed to work and the other home to a woman who was expecting their first child.

Locating Michonne's exact flavor before heading home was the only thing on Rick's mind, and he wanted to keep it that way. For the last few months, things were running smoothly for him and his new wife. With the idea things were happening, down deep, Rick knew he was experiencing his happily ever after with a woman that was meant for him. How they came about getting together wasn't ideal, but sometimes things happen in less idyllic ways.

Michonne hadn't asked him for her favorite dairy concoction, but he didn't want to chance going home and getting his snuggle on to have it interrupted by her monster cravings for Double chocolate peanut granola. There were four hiding behind the Smooth Chocolate. Weighing the odds of when it would be restocked Rick checked the date on all four pints before placing each one in his grocery cart.

"I know it's too late to apologize, and I thought the fight we had over nine months ago behind the Honky Tonk would have squashed things, but it hasn't since you ain't asked me to cover for you with your baby due any day now."

 _It hasn't_. Rick thought to himself. What he recalled about their fist-fight, two days before he was set to marry Michonne, was that he was on the verge of cold-blooded murder if it weren't for his bride-to-be knocking him flat out with a blow to the back of his head.

"Believe it or not I regret it. I took advantage. I didn't respect the situation. Looking back on it doesn't make much never mind, really. We were once Bros, from kindergarten and through Kings County High. Even joined the military together. Look at us both working in the Kings County Sheriff Department..."

Rick turned his cart to walk in the opposite direction of his former friend.

"I already volunteered. Told Sheriff Herschel as much. You don't have to come in tomorrow morning because I will be there if you do or don't."

Rick reached the end of the frozen food aisle without a single acknowledgment as he turned the corner headed towards self check-out.

In route home, he called the department to verify if he was covered for his morning shift. He was.

"Oh my God, Rick! You are going to be late for work!"

Rick lifted the pillow that covered his face. With one eye barely open, his view blocked by Michonne's enormous belly on his side of the bed he informed his wife of something he should had done the night before so he could have slept undisturbed that morning.

"I'm off today, Chonne." Rick's voice was still groggy.

"How come?"

"You are expecting any minute, right?"

"I am three days overdue."

"By your calculations."

"If we go by what the doctor says, I have another week."

"I think it is wise to listen to the doctor."

"It is wise to listen to my body."

"We did that, and twice we have gone to the hospital. Both times was a false alarm, Chonne. I think the best thing to do is lie down next to me so we can snuggle."

"Today is different, Rick."

"Different how?"

"The pain is different."

"Are you timing them?"

"The last one was 20 minutes ago."

"Let me know when we get closer to 5 minutes apart."

"In the meantime?"

"Woman, this may be your first Rodeo but it ain't mine."

"Rodeo?"

"Yep."

"Lori called. She says she will take care of Carl and Jude while I'm in labor. She does not want them at the hospital."

"What did you say."

"I told her, okay."

"My parents need to know this. Not you."

"She's not talking to them. She's not talking to you. She can't tell Carl or Jude because somehow it gets told like she is being a bitch about this or that. You should be proud of your ex wife for acting civil enough where we, her and I can have a conversation about the welfare of your kids."

"Was she being a bitch?"

"Yes. But that is beside the point."

"I have to tell my parents."

"I have already called them. They told me to tell Lori they will be at the hospital for the birth of our baby and if she wants to drop Carl and Judith off at the hospital that is where they will be. She can come and see the baby too if she wants."

"Oh my God, this back and forth has to stop."

"Our house is in order that is all that matters to me, Rick."

"Tell me you didn't! You should've woke me up, Chonne." Rick scolded, knowing that Michonne's term of house in order meant she went on a cleaning spree.

"If I had, you would have called this skip a day."

"Every day from here on out is Skip A Day until further notice."

"I've read it's called, Nesting. I am allowed to prepare my nest. It is expected per the textbooks I have read."

"No excuses."

"I didn't use any strong chemicals if that is what you are worried about. I didn't do any bending, lifting, reaching, nor did I need to because you took care of everything. Like you said you did."

Rick allowed the pillow to fall away as he repositioned from his side to his back. He could now see from over her round mound. There, as usual, he was reminded of how lucky he was to have this particular moment with someone he adored despite her obsession for cleanliness and order.

"What?" Michonne questioned his morning smile, different from his usual early smirk.

Fresh face, hair piled on top of her head, still beautiful wearing a pair of his sweats and his old brown t-shirt, Rick was speechless.

"What?" Michonne asked again, searching his eyes, feeling more self-conscious, surprised he still held power over her to make her feel bashful.

"Have we thought of a name?" Rick asked instead of answering her question.

"Waiting on you."

Rick patted the edge of the bed for his pregnant wife to have a seat next to him. "I gave it some thought. I like all the girl names. Whatever you decide on those I'll be happy. If a boy, I am down to two, Logan and Andre. I like the name Andre."

"Me too."

"Good. Now lay down with me. Let's snuggle if our baby isn't making any urgent demands for us to head on over to the hospital again."

"I'm not tired, Rick."

"Well, I have a few more winks that I would like to squeeze out with you cuddled up next to me."

Rick wasn't surprised his offer was enticing enough for Michonne to actually put her compulsion on pause and lie down next to him.

"Tell me more about these winks, Rick." Michonne's head rested in the crook of his arm. Her arm draped across his chest.

"Winks mean sleep, Michonne. Can't tell you about it if that is where I'm headed." He teased, bringing her closer to him by resting his face on top of her dreads and his other hand caressing her belly ever so gently.

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too."

Within an hour of sleeping, Michonne was hit with her first real contraction. This time there was no mistaking the real thing.

* * *

It was the celebratory mood in the office that caused others to spectate from their computer screens and monitors to witness the Top Attorney and her three unexpected visitors.

"Rick what are you doing here?" Michonne searched for answers while she was being embraced by Carl and Jude inside her glass-walled law office.

"Dad wants you to know how much he likes you." Carl informed happy about the occasion.

"Dad really likes you, Miss Michonne!" Jude squealed.

" _Like_ , Rick?"

"Yeah. I like you, Michonne. Crazy thing- I've liked you for longer than these two are aware of."

" _Like_?"

"Every. Single. Thing. About. You."

"Has to be more than, like. Didn't we have this conversation before?"

"Yeah. It was during the time other than here and there."

"Well, it has to be more than like, Rick." Michonne insisted.

"It is. Has been the moment I laid eyes on you, Michonne. You standing there like that means more than you will ever know."

Michonne hand rested on both the children's shoulders, Carl on her right and Jude on her left while Rick went down on one knee.

"I know this is something we haven't discussed with enough words to guide us to this moment other than our actions these last few months. I want you to know that I like shopping, errands, fun time, remodeling at a whim, and cleaning together. Did I cover it all, Carl?"

Rick continued once he got the nod from his son who insisted he tell Michonne all the things he likes to do first, in order for her to say yes.

"Those are the things I like to do with you and maybe add to our family if you want. I am open to whatever with the exception of getting another cat. I love you. You keep me like puddy and I hope it makes me the man you want to call your husband. Will you marry me, Michonne Suzanne Benton?"

Michonne was practically struck mute. Rick opened the small black velvet box exposing a modest ring. From first sight Michonne considered his selection absolutely perfect based on its shape and style.

"Yes."

"Yes?" Rick questioned. Michonne's voice was barely audible.

"Yes! I will marry you, Richard Sinclaire Grimes."

"Yay! Jude, we are going to have two moms! I can't wait to tell everyone at school." Carl declared not realizing the connotations to the term _two moms_ until Lori gave him and his younger sister a scolding. Word got around faster than a forest fire that Lori was officially a lesbian.

* * *

Let bygones be bygones...

I remained there for Sasha when it came to the restaurant. The amount of time we spent working together helped us to gradually reconnect. Eventually, we started having a lot of sex inside of our little diner way after closing time. Good sex.

If it weren't for the demands of owning a diner like the one we had, I'm not sure if it would have worked out between us. Sasha was dealing with depression and being the center of small-town gossip. Once the chatter died down along with coming to terms, Michonne wasn't fucking with her anymore, my wife began to be comfortable in her own skin again.

Rick's open adoration for his now wife was something other women began to envy from their own significant others. Rick and Michonne liked each other. Genuine affection on display. Amazing to watch and sickening at the same time. Not every man wanted to be Grimes. Just facts.

Not one guy that I'm aware of ever made the mistake of trying to make a move on Michonne. There were a few who thought she was a fine woman, including the Governor and the lead sales guy named Negan down at the We Sell Used Mercedes car lot located at the edge of town, but they weren't foolish to act on it. Anyone with two eyes could see how the town Deputy was very territorial when it came to Michonne. Also add the fight outside the Honky Tonk, those who witnessed it first hand said it sealed the deal that Michonne was hands off.

I wasn't there for the fight that involved Rick and Shane. Only a few people knew what that fight was really about and the ones who didn't, assumed, because Shane was a well-known ladies man, he must have tried to make a move on Michonne. Far from the truth. That fight had everything to do with Lori. Lori made it clear to anyone who disagreed that her husband wanted her back and it had to do with ramming Shanes new car that was parked outside her house. I would have called bullshit, but I was glad the focus was off of my wife.

We were now making a consistent profit with a dependable staff which afforded me a bit of time for myself. One day out of the blue, I began to realize how much time had actually passed. With my marriage back on the right tracks after a few sessions of marriage counseling and a pretty amazing seven-day marriage retreat, I failed to keep in contact with a few friends. Rick was one of them.

Rick had crossed my mind when I came across his open wedding invitation. Looking at the date, it happened months ago, and from last I heard, Michonne was now due any day. I realized I hadn't talked to my friend in a long while nor did I show any type of support. I felt terrible about it but not enough to call and apologize or try to bridge the gap. For me, I suppose, it was for the best seeing that my wife was present in her head and in our marriage this time around. If I had any doubts about Sasha and me, it was pretty nonexistent.

We needed a Clean slate, and sometimes it is at the cost of friendships.

* * *

A/N: What happened was...

A few months ago I quit my old job on a Friday and started the new one the following Monday. The new job has been brutal. BRUTAL! Brutal and Stressful.

I do want to apologize for the delays but I have been behind the scenes trying to proofread and post updated corrections. Proof reading and self diagnosed ADD doesn't mix well. I would start and next thing I know I am on to an all new storyline etc... I was going to take this story someplace... Found this chapter in my document of gibberish and decided to close it out here. For the life of me I can't find the chapter of Bigmama walking to their house or what happened when Daryl went to Andrea's house as the handyguy. If in the future I stumble upon it, I will update it and close this story again. Thank you to those who may have just stumbled upon this story or have revisited on occasion. I will update Tumblr of how I envisioned the characters. Thank you!


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